*Magnify*
SPONSORED LINKS
Creative fun in
the palm of your hand.
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/arlondale
Review Requests: OFF
9 Public Reviews Given
Public Reviews
1
1
for entry "Chapter 7
Review by Arlondale
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
By far my favorite chapter, a good length, and reads smoothly, great job :D
2
2
for entry "Chapter 6
Review by Arlondale
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
Not bad, once again little things that distract from the action and the plot, but still a good read.
3
3
for entry "Chapter 5
Review by Arlondale
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Had to laugh at the boy eating spriggan... parts, only problems I see are some minor typos. Other then that a good addition, great job.
4
4
for entry "Chapter 4
Review by Arlondale
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
“Thought I was a gonna there,” do you mean gonner? lol Also my only real peeve with this is that you use too much modern language and slang, not much, but enough to break the immersion.
5
5
for entry "Chapter 3
Review by Arlondale
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Wow... all I can say is wow. Though I admit as soon as it was said that the infected where quarantined I knew some would attack eventually.
6
6
for entry "Chapter 2
Review by Arlondale
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Once again very nice, only thing is this: "Snoring like a gutted pig" does that mean he is not snoring? *Chuckles* as a gutted pig is more often then not quite dead.
7
7
for entry "Chapter 1
Review by Arlondale
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Very nice, you caught my attention from the first sentence. Your grammar was almost perfect. My only complaint is an unneeded comma in the last paragraph, and the phrase "staining the King’s expensive outfit a sea of crimson betrayal." could use some rewording, such as maybe, "staining the King’s expensive outfit with a sea of crimson betrayal." A minor difference, but I think it would help it flow a bit better. Once again I would love to read more of this!
8
8
Review of Attention Adults  
Review by Arlondale
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Very nice, all teenagers I think would agree with this *Chuckles* I know I feel this way at times, this is well structured, good rhyme scheme, and a dash of slant rhyme. I prefer writing free verse myself. This flows very well, and makes one think.
9
9
Review of The Woods  
Review by Arlondale
Rated: E | (3.5)
Dear Cecilia,
This is a very interesting story, the only thing that I found distracting where a handful of spelling an grammar errors ((Something we are all guilty of)) You need a new line each time a different person speaks. Other then that it was an enjoyable story, and I hope to see it expanded.
- Joseph Jackson
9 Reviews · *Magnify*
Page of 1 · 25 per page   < >
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/arlondale