Where the story is throroughly engaging and put with a lot of thought, it suffers a huge beating in the grammatical department. Please make some improvement in that area, and this will happen to be another quite an enjoyable read.
Where the tale goes off superbly, especially with Dan as a character and his insecurity, we still are put into a kind of dilemma if he really loves Angela or not. At a time we have him adoring her, and at a time he considers abandoning her in distress. Where I admit his behavior was not totally wrong for a man, I don't believe that a man would consider leaving a woman he loves so much just when she is in need of him. But then again Angela's character, though not as prevalent as Dan's is excellently sketched. All in all, a thoroughly engaging tale with passion and emotion flowing out, but could have done with a bit more work on the characters.
un: 
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