|First, the bad points:
1. The similes in the first paragraph didn't work for me. It was more difficult to imagine the "bright birds", "mundane background of humanity" and "rough surface of bitter brew".
2. I got confused with Gerod. He was first a customs guard, checking those coming in the station, then a guard where the Governor stays, near the escape shuttles, where people would leave. Since Gerod is not a main character, he need not be developed in the story. Another guard can be mentioned guarding the Governor's office.
3. If the clone is able to grow new organs, why the need to grow another clone? Why is the growing of new organs only available to clones?
4. I was not convinced with Jet's sudden change of mind, from being ready to die (and her niece) to protect New Eunomia, and, in this case, the Governor, to one who helps Charlie get to the Governor.
5. There was a misplaced quotation mark, but this is already nitpicking.
Now, for the good points:
1. I got lost in the story, which means you are a very good story teller.
2. The suspense kept me going. There was action from start to finish.
3. There were lots of white spaces which made reading easier and the pace of the story faster.
4. I also got to challenge my thinking: Is a clone another human being, with all the rights and respect due to any human being?
5. The science is both familiar and unique. For example, "whole mind transfer" is familiar, especially to a computer-savvy generation, but being successful only to brains that are compatible.
6. The question at the end is a good one. Does it really matter if the woman is really the Governor or Charlie? They both have the same mind. There is a new clone, and so the cycle will be repeated. Charlie earlier said that the world would be a better place if she and the original are gone. What would Jet do?
7. I believe that this is not a first draft because the story is compact, and any extraneous side story has been removed. The first episode with Gerod was, perhaps, to establish his character. I thank you for this; your readers need not edit the work for you.
Overall, I liked the story and the story telling. The pace was fast, there was suspense, and the ending was satisfying, even if it was open-ended.