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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/barabbas
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Review of Game On  
Review by Barabbas
Rated: E | (1.5)
Nice first draft.
I had some trouble following the story starting from word one-That.
What kind of day was "That"?
What day of the week was it?
How long ago was "That" day?
Also the picture of what was going on seemed to jump around and not very clearly at that.


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