I love where the story is going, I saw a grammar error in the last one but I forgot about it. My heart is pounding. You are one of the many writers I look up to, I hope one day I will be able to improve my skills enough to wright like this. I was not kidding about wanting to message you and chat. I have few people on here that I have favorited sooo... Guess I am kinds lonely.
I do not know if you remember but I talked to you before, about a year ago when I made this account. I said I loved this and I still do, I said I wanted you to make more and you did. I can't really explain why I have not been on here. But yeah, I instantly thought to check once I found out how to get back on here. I see you have made many more and I am re-reading all of them again. I hope they are even better than I remember them to be. I just wanted to say that you are an amazing writer and maybe we can talk to each other later. P.s. I am not that idiotic 12 year old I was, I am now 14 years and I have been studing writing and have found new reasons to read and write.
I am not usually one to rate 5 stars on anything,I am very picky especially when it comes to genres and fiction and non-fiction.As most people,I love fiction and fantasy fiction is my favorite.Even though I am a beginner and very young I have a better eye at spotting mistakes on paper than people think.I am what you might call a speed reader and are one of the fastest readers on the scholastic 7th-8th grade team but sometimes if I don't fully (I mean every detail) of whats going on i will misread something.For instance,when you are changing characters make a little a note I the description.I was totally confused at first when I zoomed down the page taking as many details in as I could,It was not until the about mid-way when I stopped and tried to figure what I had done wrong,because I thought I had acidently clicked on another book or something.Besides that this was one of the most amazing books I have read in writing.com so far it made me want to keep on reading to find out what happened next.It also made my heart sad at times like the balcony scene that was painted in my head or even mad when Amy hit her brother on the head with the plate and when the guards tackled "The Azure Demon".All in all It it one of my favorite books and I might have only saw 1 or 2 mistakes like a period where an exclamation point should have been used of a simple grammar mistake.5 stars to all and to all a long review.
Like I said I'm a beginner and don't know how to critique this,but I will give it a shot. In the second sentence I see a comma AND a period mark together,which one is it supposed to be? Then on the third sentence I see no capitalation ,or is that period supposed to be a comma?Later on in the story where it says he brought her home and gave her to him there should probably be a comma after that or maybe a period. Well that is my little critique there and I think its a pretty good story.Keep going,Doc.
wow.This is really good.Short and heart-pounding.It made my hearet race and the details were very...um,detailed.The only problem i see is where it says She body felt as if it had been numbed.I would be correct if it said HER body.Was it just an overlooked mistake?
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