Great story on revenge for her friend but sad she had to sacrifice herself for her friend to live. But that makes a good story you sacrifice your soul to save your friend from being tortured from others. Great job!
My sister is named Jeanette Great fairytale. I truly liked it and would make a cute children's book because I wrote an ebook about Lucinda the Gifted fairy on Amazon.com/Jennifer Croy's books and Lulu.com/spotlight/Jennybooboo Keep writing on! Great job well done! :)
You only had a few errors like this instead of his time but it was a great start of a mystery story, and I liked it. It left me curious what was going on with the teddy bear and the girl with black hair. Your a great story teller. Good Job!
Very good beginning of your story. It gave me goosebumps reading each line. You have 1 misspelled word hair where it says air stood on the back of my neck. Other than that it left me wondering what was going to happen next with Allie going into the hotel. Well done! Good job!
Well written as they always say Dog is man's best friend. I suffer from my bipolar disorder and I know how you feel I have 2 dogs and one cat but the cat is my son's and The two dogs are Chiuachua very loving but my male can be very hyper and sometimes drives me crazy.