I miss this contest and its host. Reading this entry brought back my own attempts (less than stellar) at attempting to win first place.
The reviews given by the contest owner were helpful. I hope this one does equal honor.
I liked the lead-in. The setting and characterization were done well. I noticed the use of unnecessary words that interfered with my reading flow. Here's an example.
They had met when their magazines had collaborated (take out the word 'had'). Any time the same word is used close together I take a second look. Adding a second word that is similar but not the same adds color and nuance (or might not be needed).
Hope this helps. Happy holidays and keep on writing.
A poignant tribute to the story within the story of friendships power to deepen and enrich life. How a simple symbol can enfold and transform something others might easily throw away, and turn it into a capsule time machine where treasured memories are stored.
And what of the admiring 'Ken'? I wondered at the end of this written odyssey. He marched to the same fashion army's drum. Was he a sad stiff upper lip hanger-on (along with the rest of him) to Barbie's jet-set lifestyle?
Yes, this macho piece of hardened plastic life displayed the same naked truth . . . there was really nothing down under there to see or cover up.
. . . my fave' Barbie line of yours - Off with her head applies to an uncooperative Barbie.
as it did to my 'Ken's though dolls they indeed were and behaved as such.
It made me wonder how they pro-created so often into children's lives. Some mysteries apparently were not to be discovered by tender young minds as ours once were.
I came Prancer and Blitzing dancing here filled with holiday cheer after seeing this is your WdC anniversary.
Congratulations and wishing you (and your contribution to the site) many more.
I enjoyed peeking through your port window to find a better view of yourself. That is quite an impressive journey you are taking. Yes, helping others is a most effective way to motivate and help yourself.
Seeing you wear the color blue on your handle, I can't help but ask a question. What causes reading a poem to turn it into an immersive experience?
Songs work the same way at times. I wonder why that is? It gives them so much more meaning than the cloth from which they are made of.
What I liked best was the blending of past and present traditions with the modern 'walkabout' turned road trip.
Nice hook that drew in my immediate interest and carried through each line to the end. The transition from life's meaningful journey into that found beyond the vale with a never-ending ghostly path holds hidden meaning to us all.
Restless spirits ever searching never see the meaning found in each moment's breath.
Ahh. Congratulations on today's Writers Cramp win. I think today's judge (and myself included) do like a good romance. This short story has all the required elements of past longing, lost wandering soul, and welcome reclamation kindling the required fire.
This is quite the vivid mental picture painted in words. I rarely see 'Prose' as an offered genre in the land of 'read & review'. It was a refreshing glimpse of how a writing talent offers such for view.
The moral imperative could not be denied that war is hell for all who enter that domain. Whether conscripted as unlikely warriors or pacifist victims whose resources are wanted, the result is less than inspiring.
Welcome to the fabled lands of the WdC. I think you will enjoy making a second home here. It is often a stopover turned into a residence for wanderers of imagination.
Posting so quickly after becoming a member shows how important this means of expression is to you. What I liked best about your composition was the brusque, clinical view of an unusual life managed by the main character.
The flash of romance sparked a smile after reading this contest entry. What I liked best was the twist of conflict in the middle. That was some quick 'writer' thinking that plucked my interest and held it captive until things worked out in the end.
I actually had a Christmas tree do that (tinsel branches must have been wired up wrong) but just as I peered through its branches they snapped in my face and the tree disappeared into the future without a trace.
What did I see in that moment quivering in the days and years ahead? I ain't tellin' just be sure you got your emergency food storage and supplies safely tucked away and are ready for the ride of a lifetime. It is gonna' be do or die time.
Amazing what can be done with one's imagination in three-hundred words. This captures the imagination, characterization, and setting of 'Steampunk' to the max. Fun ending with a quick-thinking placebo effect kept true to the plot.
Gave me shudders reading this revelation bringing the puzzles of history past into present view and future likelihood.
May we ride with courage and more wisdom than those who left us this heritage. The journals of my ancestors about living through the 'Roaring Twenties' was bleak but filled with a humble trust and willingness to find a way through which resulted in my own welcome life.
I have to say, this was done 'beery' well indeed. What impressed me the most was the professional look. Lots of white space, use of poetic structure, fun use of the ball icon making a reminder of the sporty nature of the read, and that great animation graphic with its cheery overtone blending in with the poem.
Hoopah, that last line. Effective imagery with a commonly used term?
dried the single tear . . .
Oh, yeah. Done deal. Hit me like a ton of bricks.
What else to say about this 'plethora' use of rather elaborate words done in poetic (not left, not right) but in the middle column?
Your intrepid reviewer's eyebrows dance. I thought
A misspelled word I can report, but alas? I looked it up to make sure. Sonder is real.
Noun. sonder (uncountable) (neologism) The profound feeling of realizing that everyone, including strangers passed in the street, has a life as complex as one's own, which they are constantly living despite one's personal lack of awareness of it.
Defeated without any suggestion left to make things better I left in disgrace, but a little wiser, with an enhanced vocabulary in place.
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