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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/bobturn
Review Requests: ON
2,202 Public Reviews Given
Review Style
Reviewing and Judging checklist ------------------------------------------- *CheckB* Experienced writers are held to a higher standard with their skill level. Newer writers are forgiven more common editing mistakes made by beginning writers without my focusing on them. *CheckGr* Well developed themes showing originality over well used ones count. *CheckO* I look for reading flow and give an example of content that may be improved without my offering detailed copy editing. Links to resources offering help may be offered. *CheckY* For further information on my views of reviewing and judging see "Reviewing / Self Editing, "Writing Mistakes and Analzying Poetry  
I'm good at...
*Check* I tend to review and judge as a reader. What part(s) work? What part(s) fall flat? *CheckP* Results reflect personal taste and perceived preferences on how I relate with the work. Writing that offers an emotional impact I relate with (or not) will be featured in my response.
Favorite Genres
romance, horror, fantasy, children's
Least Favorite Genres
erotica
Favorite Item Types
short stories
Least Favorite Item Types
novels, longer works
Public Reviews
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Review of Prima Ballerina  
Review by Bob'n Around
Rated: E | (4.5)
Nice reading flow, message of love and commitment to talent in a young life. I like the strength and focus flash fiction brings. Larger works tend to defuse the message into subplots and episodes to develop character or other aspects of standard writing building blocks. Thanks for sharing and write on.
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Review of Sonic Doom  
Review by Bob'n Around
Rated: E | (4.5)
Loved the last line. The musing and reflection was easy to relate with as well. There is a lot of meaning in so few short lines, well expressed with no distracting words or phrases added to fill out space. I saw no technical issues with spelling, grammar or style. The ample use of white space made this easy for online viewing. Thanks for sharing.
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Review by Bob'n Around
Rated: E | (4.0)
** Image ID #2245821 Unavailable **


What brought me here
A quick click on the read and review button

What kept me here
I've gotten interested in entering one of the children's genre WdC contests. When I saw this a children's story, I was hooked and read on.

What I liked best
I liked the flashback to an early childhood memory that still stands out in time.

My favorite sentence was
"I GOT YOU" Jerimayne said to me.

This brought back some flash backs of my own of harmless lurking behind the back of a sofa, jumping up and surprising one of my younger sisters. Surprises like that have lasted unintentionally over time. My wife says I move so silently that it makes her jump when she realizes I have entered a room she is in. I will have to remind myself to whistle or shout a greeting. Habits are hard to break.

What could be improved
This deserves some fleshing out with some more 'show instead of tell' to help connect me as the reader with the feelings, sights, sounds and past that would bring this event to life.

Summary
A good cameo of a personal experience carrying me back to my own childhood. Thanks for sharing.


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Review of A Gain (short)  
Review by Bob'n Around
Rated: E | (5.0)
** Image ID #2245821 Unavailable **
A "Invalid Item Review


What brought me here
A promise to read a review after this poet kindly did the same.

What kept me here
A choice, after checking out this author's port. This title intrigued and hooked me into wanting to read on.

What I liked best
In terms of structure, I liked the formal look and use of white space and use of the repeating line. It adds emotional impact when read with a kind of driving and building force.

My favorite sentence was
Included in the popup note: I am not a native English speaker. You could have fooled me. The use of succinct word use shows clarification of thought many native speakers could well adopt.

What could be improved
Nothing comes to mind. Well written, no technical errors. Worthy of being published as is.

Summary
A free verse poem about not giving up offering several tips on how to do that is worthy of reading over again and kept as need arises. Thanks for sharing your talent.


5
5
Review by Bob'n Around
Rated: E | (4.0)
Always fun to see something new and novel when selecting the WdC site's 'read and review' button. This post is no exception. It reads almost like a movie script. The dialogue is direct and informative without unnecessary description distracting from the reading flow. I liked the crisis offered of a family member being taken to a police station and parents being called. The ending of this episode felt more like a cameo than a short story because of the lack of resolution to the drama written about, at least to this one reader. Thanks for sharing.
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Review of The Coward  
Review by Bob'n Around
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
I found my way here by way of the 'read & review' button, startled by seeing how short this piece of flash fiction was. How could anyone squeeze a good read out of so few words? The awardicon featured at the top of the entry helpfully released any concern. Setting, characterization, drama filled crises and resolution were all there. Good Job.
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Review by Bob'n Around
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Welcome to our writing community. As a new member, posting so quickly shows how important this art form is in your life. I think you will find a good second home here. Free verse is my favorite form of poetry. When done well, it offers focus and simplicity which are hard to match in longer or more elaborate forms of rule based poetry or short stories. What I liked best was the use of a familiar 'door to the heart' and willingness to keep it open. Thanks for sharing and write on.
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Review of Heartache  
Review by Bob'n Around
Rated: E | (4.5)
Love your handle. Fits what you do as a writer. This simple free verse strips everything but the essentials out of dealing with troubled relationships. My favorite line - 'You're just more awake'. Pain teaches us, if we but listen rather than stick a numbed out band aid on it with the emotional sore festering underneath, doesn't it? I was a little confused by 'Grow through heartache until reading the following lines. Thanks for sharing. Write on.
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Review of New Becomes Old  
Review by Bob'n Around
Rated: E | (4.5)
I liked the evolving story line, introduction and emotionally satisfying acquaintance with Miss Sorensen's resolution of what was important in her life. What I liked best was the very real connection with metaphorical car value and the personal kind within one's heart. I would have liked to have seen more show instead of tell to bond with the story line. All the elements of a top notch tale are here other than that, at least for this one reader. Write on.
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Review by Bob'n Around
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
I couldn't help myself. Great dialogue, provocative interaction and a teasing sense of probing intimacy and challenge. What's not to like? At chapter 16, I applaud the effort of such a lengthy endeavor. Coming in at this late date, the one thing I missed was a sentence or two offering a summary offering of what this novel idea is all about. No technical problems noted. All in all an enticing experience. Thanks for sharing.
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Review of My Perspective  
Review by Bob'n Around
Rated: E | (4.5)
I found this poem when clicking on the 'read & review' button. It always offers variety and a chance to visit the work of new and old members alike. I noticed you recently joined up. Putting your work out so quickly shows how important writing is in your life. I think you will find this a welcome second home.

What I liked best about this short verse was its playful inquisitive reflection on what readers may be looking for. No technical issues and the rhyme flows well across each line. Thanks for sharing your talent.
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Review of Tearful Goodbyes  
Review by Bob'n Around
Rated: E | (4.0)
A lot of angst going on with a family's conflicting emotions and a father's affirmation of love. I caught one technical glitch that distracted my reading flow. It is easily fixed.

none that I could se.

what I liked best was the consistent flow of rhyme simply expressed. Thanks for sharing your talent.
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Review by Bob'n Around
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Adroitly said in flowing stanzas bright with imagery and a seasoned look blending childhood innocence with budding focused talent. The more mature rendition, if this is the reincarnation of that youthful adventure in verse, shows where maturity has flowered in full view. A total pleasure, finding and reading this work. Kudos and silent applause.
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Review of Food Haiku  
Review by Bob'n Around
Rated: E | (4.5)
Following the guidelines for writing a Haiku require inspired discipline. To my understanding, tradition dictates a relationship of this poetic form with nature. I enjoyed the poet taking it out to render in a new place, that of good taste and the palate. Thanks for sharing.
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Review by Bob'n Around
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
A surprising story within a story for being chapter bound. Startling buildup of the two main characters by way of their interaction. The structure, buildup and phrasing flowed without pause. It was a delight reading and seeing through the eyes of Ellis. The mini-crisis of overstepping his bounds heightened interest just where a well told tale should. Thanks for sharing.
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Review of Waterlily  
Review by Bob'n Around
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
A most tantalizing taste of poetic charm and welcome imagery unfolded to the eyes of this poor reader upon reading this free verse.

Having lived this nature tale from human view in the high mountain lakes a few hours away, it brought that memory alive once more.

My children and I, loving the sight of the water lilies abundance, took some home to our bathtub, intent on having these living companions closer at hand. Overnight, they lost any interest, curled up and died.

How far apart mankind lives from mother nature, unaware it is by our own devising.
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Review of Cupids Asylum  
Review by Bob'n Around
Rated: E | (4.0)
Saw this offering presented under 'Read A Newbie' and came to explore. Aha. A mind stream flowing from its fountain of inspiration. A rush of mixed phrasing placed a few rocks in my reading path, easily tumbled over in my quest for understanding. My interpretation? Love's brew, once tasted, is a potion uneasily explored. Write on.
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Review by Bob'n Around
Rated: E | (4.5)
Reading this free verse brought such a vivid image before me that I could almost reach out and taste it. The red heart shaped box, a symbol of love shared, with its delicate sweet textures inside, combine the allure of promise with the practicality of simple sensual pleasure. The only thing missing is this poem attached to the real article, something I'm sure the poet rectified after creating it. Thanks for sharing.
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Review by Bob'n Around
Rated: E | (5.0)
A well wrought flow of poetic line and verse from beginning to end, without a hitch by way of glitch to fend. I marveled at the humble soaring phrase from deep within the heart. Such honest dedication to a life long cause should give pause to every unbeliever's impart. Thanks for sharing.
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Review of The Rebirthday  
Review by Bob'n Around
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
A few missing words being sentenced along the way to Lisa's fate worse than death. Otherwise, a mesmerizing tale with a twist adding just a touch of humor to bite into at the end. What I liked best was the creative inclusion of vampirish lore woven seamlessly along the way making this grave tale more than a shameless copy of a batty past.
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Review of Pendulum  
Review by Bob'n Around
Rated: E | (4.5)
I found this poem by clicking on the ever interesting 'read & review' WdC button. It is a good way to find something new to nudge my interest. What I liked best was how this was not so much a religious theme as it was a spiritual one. The dichotomies offered by mankind and God in their viewpoints was detailed, succinct and felt spot on without reference to hooking Christianity to one of it's branches of faith. An able writer. Thanks for sharing.
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Review by Bob'n Around
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
A masterpiece. True reading enjoyment. I thought I might enter this contest but after reading this piece? Second place might be worthy of a try if my muse gets creative enough.
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Review of Tightrope  
Review by Bob'n Around
Rated: E | (4.0)
This free verse really made my blood pulse. Alarming, adrenaline high, I scrambled to follow along to where these lines were headed. A mall terrorist attack? Followed by a sudden sense of awareness and readiness for needed action? Quite the realistic mindswhirl. Thanks for sharing.
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Review by Bob'n Around
Rated: E | (4.0)
I liked the balance of city versus farm life, small town versus big city, and change from violence to uneasy paranoia without having weapons around and having to rely on unknown others. The twist at the end of the tale with the appearance of the apocalypse was inspired. Nice job. I would have liked to have seen a bit more background pre-witness protection, just to add some more flavor and juice to connect with the main character. This short story is worthy of building into a bigger piece.
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Review by Bob'n Around
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
This one hooked me right in and pulled the rug out from under me with the surprise ending. Good job. What I like best about flash fiction is the ability for it to do just that. Longer pieces sometimes get lost, weaving in and out of their main message. Thanks for sharing.
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