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Printed from http://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/bobturn
Review Requests: ON
1,631 Public Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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Review of Open!  
Review by Bobturn
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
This one grabbed me by the throat. I felt transfixed while reading. What a picture was painted of tension reveling in the unknown.

Knowing from the get-go this was a horror tale, the suspense was killing me.

The key unlocking the door to final resolution appeared at the very end in the appearance of the black-eyed child.

This one will haunt me for a while.

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2
Review of Memories  
Review by Bobturn
Rated: E | (5.0)
Truly a touching gift to a soul friend left in these simple words.

I often visit those moments of my past where I dwelt with one such constant companion.

You spoke truth.

BTW, thanks for the visit and comment left after reading some of my work.
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3
Review of Memoirs  
for entry "Scrabble
Review by Bobturn
Rated: E | (4.5)
Lucky you, two, finding mates that check out while gambling along in this game of life together. Being so equally matched makes you both turn out as winners.
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4
Review of Drones  
Review by Bobturn
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
wOw *Geek* I like this one. Publishable as is and worth putting it out there. You might talk with Angus about some of the online venues he's published from.
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5
Review of Bridge Club  
Review by Bobturn
Rated: E | (4.5)
A nicely painted love offering portrait with a few mischievous dabs of mischief in the mix.
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6
Review of Damenabend  
Review by Bobturn
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
Google did a nice job of translation into English for me. The reading was smooth, the text well written, and professionally displayed. I appreciated the white space between paragraphs.

The hook set in early and held my interest. I wanted to see where being a male doormat to a girlfriend and friends went.

What might have been a fetish soon turned into a quite painful experience. The ending made me wonder if this relationship with the main character's girlfriend would endure.

Note: There were one or two sentences that translated with a strange word or two. These probably come across better in the original language.

Thanks for sharing and write on.
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7
Review by Bobturn
Rated: E | (3.5)
I miss this contest and its host. Reading this entry brought back my own attempts (less than stellar) at attempting to win first place.

The reviews given by the contest owner were helpful. I hope this one does equal honor.

I liked the lead-in. The setting and characterization were done well. I noticed the use of unnecessary words that interfered with my reading flow. Here's an example.

They had met when their magazines had collaborated (take out the word 'had'). Any time the same word is used close together I take a second look. Adding a second word that is similar but not the same adds color and nuance (or might not be needed).

Hope this helps. Happy holidays and keep on writing.

8
8
Review by Bobturn
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
The thing-a-mah-gig was missing.
The watch-a-mah-call-it was gone.
The person who knew all about it confessed
without telling us what had gone wrong.

It seemed a flight of fancy,
the way she exposed her wild foray.
I thought it might be complete imagination
except for the hole her words portrayed.

Nothing seemed to fit there
Perhaps no mystery ever had or could
The more I studied her free verse
the less I understood.

In complete desperation at the puzzle
with no peace or piece I could find
I carved out my own inclination
and really, I ended up having a fine time.
9
9
Review of BRASS CASINGS  
Review by Bobturn
Rated: E | (5.0)
A poignant tribute to the story within the story of friendships power to deepen and enrich life. How a simple symbol can enfold and transform something others might easily throw away, and turn it into a capsule time machine where treasured memories are stored.

Beautiful poetry
10
10
Review of MATCHBOX UNDIES  
Review by Bobturn
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
And what of the admiring 'Ken'? I wondered at the end of this written odyssey. He marched to the same fashion army's drum. Was he a sad stiff upper lip hanger-on (along with the rest of him) to Barbie's jet-set lifestyle?

Yes, this macho piece of hardened plastic life displayed the same naked truth . . . there was really nothing down under there to see or cover up.

*Think*

. . . my fave' Barbie line of yours - Off with her head applies to an uncooperative Barbie.

as it did to my 'Ken's though dolls they indeed were and behaved as such.

It made me wonder how they pro-created so often into children's lives. Some mysteries apparently were not to be discovered by tender young minds as ours once were.
11
11
Review by Bobturn
Rated: E | (5.0)
Ah, the battle of the sexes, ever perplexes, with no rhyme or in poetic pentameter, the truth ever twists between 'him-N-her', both sides will ever be their battle cry.

Each point's to love's honored banner, as proof carried and flown sky high when into the breach a poet pauses to teach, both are right as they wave bye-bye.

Thanks for sharing this succulent reminder of how we eat our hearts out for each other. *Wink*
12
12
Review by Bobturn
Rated: E | (5.0)
I came Prancer and Blitzing dancing here filled with holiday cheer after seeing this is your WdC anniversary.

Congratulations and wishing you (and your contribution to the site) many more.

I enjoyed peeking through your port window to find a better view of yourself. That is quite an impressive journey you are taking. Yes, helping others is a most effective way to motivate and help yourself.

Seeing you wear the color blue on your handle, I can't help but ask a question. What causes reading a poem to turn it into an immersive experience?

Songs work the same way at times. I wonder why that is? It gives them so much more meaning than the cloth from which they are made of.
13
13
Review of Red Leaf  
Review by Bobturn
Rated: E | (4.5)
What I liked best was the blending of past and present traditions with the modern 'walkabout' turned road trip.

Nice hook that drew in my immediate interest and carried through each line to the end. The transition from life's meaningful journey into that found beyond the vale with a never-ending ghostly path holds hidden meaning to us all.

Restless spirits ever searching never see the meaning found in each moment's breath.
14
14
Review by Bobturn
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
A nice tempting stroll through this author's imagination with colorful setting, dancing characterization, and quickly discovered resolution.

What I liked best was the author placing this inside the reader's viewpoint as if he or she were experiencing this unfolding ordeal. Well done.

One quick 'nibble' as one of my guru reviewers call them.

behind you witch sounded (which - *Bigsmile* witch appeared out of nowhere as a bit of mind play, didn't it? The real witch was actually revealed later on)
15
15
Review by Bobturn
Rated: E | (4.0)
Interesting handle, Cruel Carlos. It made me wonder what the back story was behind wearing such while parading around the land of the WdC.

Such a scrawl of words sewing pent up feelings could only unravel a deeper thread.

Perhaps, in that momentary explosive release, a trembling new search will offer itself into view.

write on.

16
16
Review of Diverted  
Review by Bobturn
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Ahh. Congratulations on today's Writers Cramp win. I think today's judge (and myself included) do like a good romance. This short story has all the required elements of past longing, lost wandering soul, and welcome reclamation kindling the required fire.

Well done. *ThumbsUpL*
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17
Review by Bobturn
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
This is quite the vivid mental picture painted in words. I rarely see 'Prose' as an offered genre in the land of 'read & review'. It was a refreshing glimpse of how a writing talent offers such for view.

The moral imperative could not be denied that war is hell for all who enter that domain. Whether conscripted as unlikely warriors or pacifist victims whose resources are wanted, the result is less than inspiring.

Well said.
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Review by Bobturn
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Welcome to the fabled lands of the WdC. I think you will enjoy making a second home here. It is often a stopover turned into a residence for wanderers of imagination.

Posting so quickly after becoming a member shows how important this means of expression is to you. What I liked best about your composition was the brusque, clinical view of an unusual life managed by the main character.

Thank you for sharing your talent.
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Review of The Wedding Day  
Review by Bobturn
Rated: E | (5.0)
The flash of romance sparked a smile after reading this contest entry. What I liked best was the twist of conflict in the middle. That was some quick 'writer' thinking that plucked my interest and held it captive until things worked out in the end.

A fun read on this snowy and cold December day.

Thanks for sharing.
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20
Review by Bobturn
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
I actually had a Christmas tree do that (tinsel branches must have been wired up wrong) but just as I peered through its branches they snapped in my face and the tree disappeared into the future without a trace.

What did I see in that moment quivering in the days and years ahead? I ain't tellin' just be sure you got your emergency food storage and supplies safely tucked away and are ready for the ride of a lifetime. It is gonna' be do or die time.
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Review of Sprocket  
Review by Bobturn
Rated: E | (5.0)
Amazing what can be done with one's imagination in three-hundred words. This captures the imagination, characterization, and setting of 'Steampunk' to the max. Fun ending with a quick-thinking placebo effect kept true to the plot.

Thanks for sharing. Great fun.
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Review of Rhymin' Simon  
Review by Bobturn
Rated: E | (5.0)
well said, poet. Isn't it fun to talk in rhyme? I find myself doing it at odd times. People may look at me weird, but it seems to catch their ear.

That's what I thought when I read this verse, it didn't sound all that rehearsed. It was freshly said and spoken, a good rhyming token.
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23
Review by Bobturn
Rated: E | (5.0)
Gave me shudders reading this revelation bringing the puzzles of history past into present view and future likelihood.

May we ride with courage and more wisdom than those who left us this heritage. The journals of my ancestors about living through the 'Roaring Twenties' was bleak but filled with a humble trust and willingness to find a way through which resulted in my own welcome life.

Thanks for sharing your insight.
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Review by Bobturn
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
I have to say, this was done 'beery' well indeed. What impressed me the most was the professional look. Lots of white space, use of poetic structure, fun use of the ball icon making a reminder of the sporty nature of the read, and that great animation graphic with its cheery overtone blending in with the poem.

Great job.
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Review of Serendipity  
Review by Bobturn
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hoopah, that last line. Effective imagery with a commonly used term?

dried the single tear . . .

Oh, yeah. Done deal. Hit me like a ton of bricks.

What else to say about this 'plethora' use of rather elaborate words done in poetic (not left, not right) but in the middle column?

Your intrepid reviewer's eyebrows dance. I thought

Aha

A misspelled word I can report, but alas? I looked it up to make sure. Sonder is real.

Noun. sonder (uncountable) (neologism) The profound feeling of realizing that everyone, including strangers passed in the street, has a life as complex as one's own, which they are constantly living despite one's personal lack of awareness of it.

Defeated without any suggestion left to make things better I left in disgrace, but a little wiser, with an enhanced vocabulary in place.

Thank you.
*BigSmile*
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