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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/bobturn/sort_by/r.review_creation_time DESC/page/10
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2,008 Public Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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Review by Bob's Alter...
Rated: E | (4.5)
Saw this posted as an editor's choice in the current Comedy Newsletter. cute poem from the viewpoint of all mom's, I'm sure. 'Take it or leave it' is quite the kid dish. Served everywhere for weeks on end as long as left overs remain, I see the adult reasoning of mom's world round. If kids survive this diet, nothing will ever put them down.

Thanks for sharing a fun read.
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Review by Bob's Alter...
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Wowah. What an imagination put to use. Great read. Sucked me in and held me captive from the first word to the last. Ran across this horror story in a current newsletter. Saw the awardicon. Congrats if you ever return. Saw you haven't been online in this site for years. Maybe the zombie girls got you. I hope not.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
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Review of The Walk  
Review by Bob's Alter...
Rated: E | (5.0)
Classic Jacky. Quick and tight delivery, one character focus, with a lead in and surprise twist at the end.

The read is always fresh, even though the formula is pretty static. What brings the tale to life and makes it worthwhile is the imagination of the author, ever searching and finding the human element in the plot.

Thanks for your long and constant additions to flash fiction on the site.
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Review by Bob's Alter...
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Simple and direct, this poem with its theme of love's loss and emptiness filled is heart warming. Isn't it amazing how all pets such as a kitten ever ask is to be loved and love in return.

Thanks for sharing and good luck in the contest.

- an admirer of your work.
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Review of The Real You  
Review by Bob's Alter...
Rated: E | (4.5)
Nice ripple of thought and rhyme tying the lines of poetry together. I enjoyed experiencing the flow of words and reflection they brought to bear.

Some good work here which deserves more public exposure. The willingness to put oneself and their work out there isn't always easy. This one paid off for this reader.

Thanks for sharing. Lots to think about and take with after the reading is done. Write on.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
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Review by Bob's Alter...
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
This is quite the productive WdC writer. I've made it a point to review more but didn't expect to find another exposition by this author so quickly after reviewing another from the 'Read & Review' button. BTW, thanks again for the personal feedback on the last one. It meant a lot having that communication.

This piece reveals how networking and writing combined are the strength of staying power in action. Sadly, there was that blasted 'Invalid Item' staring me in the face of all the praise which followed.

the passage of time does eat away at the best of well remembered things, doesn't it?

Thanks for sharing. Write on.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
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Review of Mother's Day  
Review by Bob's Alter...
Rated: E | (4.5)
A reminder of how love's owning makes room for understanding with it's loss. What makes this poem so effective is the reflection of both in such few short words. There is an ephemeral quality breathing through the lines, a wistfulness, as it were. Potent feeling left as a reminder to handle loves owning, well.

Thanks for sharing the world of the WdC.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
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Review of Addictions  
Review by Bob's Alter...
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Yes. Oh my. Solid build up. Step by step unleashing a little more suspense. Threads unraveling, twisting, dangling into that final hangman's knot at the surprising final jerk at the end.

I did notice a couple of simple distractions, like this one at the first of the tale - clearing her vision, the(n) typed in her password

Other than that a nice blending of modern day horror, an abandoned life and child due to Facebook with that centuries older one of a vampire.

Thanks for sharing this jewel of a good read.
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Review of Conquered  
Review by Bob's Alter...
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Welcome, new member to our writing community. Posting so quickly shows how much this art form is important to you.

I liked taking this theme into a form of mental poetry driven by behavior. Nice juxtaposition that quickly formed tone and mood.

The only thing I would change is a few grammatical corrections to the last line, torn for toren for example and taking out the second 'the'.

Take care. Thanks for sharing, and I'd be happy to help if things seem a bit confusing finding your way around the site.
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Review by Bob's Alter...
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
It is obvious there was a lot of effort put into this poem. The tribute to Charlotte Bronte added interest and hooked me into reading.

There is a definite tone and mood carried throughout the choice of wording. I appreciated the end note offering guidance to the content and structure.

The only change this reader would have appreciated is adding white space between main thoughts to the end note. I think there is a way to create a popup out of the note to click on so that the poem stands out better for itself.

Thanks for sharing and I hope these suggestions are taken as only the thoughts of one reader who enjoyed your work and looks forward to seeing more.



*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
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Review by Bob's Alter...
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Indeed. This would definitely make a great drinking song at a pub to celebrate anyone's birthday, it wouldn't matter, that patter the same, everyone getting fatter.

<blink> See? The effect of reading this poetic verse is a curse, it is catching as well, I'd give it five stars but my heads ringing like a bell.

So I'm off to the pub for a brew, one or two. I'll let you know how it goes when I'm through.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
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Review by Bob's Alter...
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
What an interesting and unusual find with the 'Read & Review' button. I followed along the narrative quest with interest. So much personal history brought this colorful and friendly character to life.

Published back in 2002 and updated in 2003, I wondered if hope was given up and she was never found.

The broken link at the top of the article made the quest seem somewhat abandoned of late.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
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Review of Perpetuity  
Review by Bob's Alter...
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
Wow. You put some work into this. The structure of word presentation was creative. It felt like reading a printout at times, making a distant view of the conflict within the main character living through this science fiction tale.

What hooked me was the changing scenes and involvement. That carried me through to the end.

To be continued? I wonder what happens next.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
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Review of FRIENDS  
Review by Bob's Alter...
Rated: E | (4.0)
Simple, effective lyrics with a clear message of how friendship works and the eternal desire to find such.

Reading this work made me wonder and try to put to mind what kind of music might be woven best into the words, western? pop? blues?

I did notice that first 'center' code needs to have the '/' taken out for it to work. Otherwise, the word itself shows up causing a little distraction.

Thanks for sharing. I hope to see more of your work.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
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Review of The Mirage  
Review by Bob's Alter...
Rated: E | (4.5)
I enjoyed the read. You hooked me early on. Wanting to know the fate of the main character pulled me in and held me captive until the end.

Leaving Peter looking out while trapped within a lost past felt mesmerizing. A nicely woven tale building good imagery in words.

Thanks for sharing.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
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Review by Bob's Alter...
Rated: E | (3.5)
At first glance I could tell this was written as a mind stream of self expression needing to get out where it could be seen.

I was caught and interested by the title and description. Who doesn't relate with the 23rd psalm? I wanted to see where and how it soared in another's life.

Solid. It appeared. Reflected in two large blocks of text. Rather poetically seen but difficult for my readers eyes to launch into. Perhaps simplifying the experience into paragraphs with white space between main ideas would aid following along the journey with the author.

Otherwise, a powerful lesson in living one's beliefs through the aid of faith.

Thanks for sharing.
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Review by Bob's Alter...
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
A good read, this.

Educational with the definition and description provided as well as being poetry offering wisdom on its own.

Waving the flag word of folly from line to line is brilliantly done. It sticks in the mind. The feeling of sarcastic satire needling into my veins was a shot of reality of the times we live in.

The poetry is graffiti written in a time honored way for passerby's to read on a wall.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
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Review of Broken Pieces  
Review by Bob's Alter...
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
I love a good romance. Prose lends itself to the warm soft feelings reading such a work offers. That hooked me and I read on.

I liked keeping this to a one person viewpoint. The expression of feeling helped drive the reading flow.

I was looking for more poetic and lyrical prose phrasing but maybe that is just my personal thing when reading romance.

Short posts do make online viewing easier to take on. Breaking the text into main ideas or paragraphs broken up by white space would make reading even more attractive.

Hope these suggestions help. Thanks for sharing and write on.



*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
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Review by Bob's Alter...
Rated: E | (5.0)
Poked the 'Read & Review' button. Soon as I saw the author it was a must (and satisfying) read. No worries about finding anything to change, structure and content both divine. It was fun studying the rhyme.

I'm not a star Trek Fan, but even I have seen that episode. Thanks for the chuckle and ride along your imagination.

Do you ever *not* do publishable work?


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
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Review by Bob's Alter...
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
congratulations on the awardicon. Good flow without distraction during the first read. Dialog and description blend and enhance each other. Characters are lively and drive the plot with a satisfying ending that combines crises and resolution that made me smile.

There was a lot of action amid minor characters that felt a little confusing other than being there as part of the party setting. I would have liked to gotten to know them better. what did they look like, mannerisms and such.

That just shows the short story peaked my interest and was worth reading.

Thanks for sharing.
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Review of I love you  
Review by Bob's Alter...
Rated: E | (4.0)
Cute use of the prompt for this very recognizable contest (Dialog Only). It made me start hunting for two or three letter 'love' sentences in the plot for fun. It made me wonder, what if the box really could talk in only that format?

The novel characters (with the box of heart shaped candies being one), store setting, crisis of 'will he or won't he?' and resolution flowed together well.

Thanks for sharing.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
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Review of On the train  
Review by Bob's Alter...
Rated: E | (3.5)
I found this short story by clicking on the 'Read and Review' button. The title and graphic cover attracted my attention.

I noticed grammatical phrasing that might require change to increase reading flow. These did not cause an issue in understanding the plot.

Action by the main characters held my attention until reaching the end. Wanting to know more about the author I looked at your port. Understanding and using three languages is to be admired.

Thank you for sharing your work. write on.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
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Review of Strange Creatures  
Review by Bob's Alter...
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
It was fun seeing your handle pop up when I clicked 'Read & Review'. There was the usual lively professional look and feel to reading this example of your work.

I struggled a bit with the German dialect blurring my vision but it fit the character and those lines didn't last long.

There was a delightful freshness to the description of the beasties created and brought forth from your imagination.

This exercise seemed to be one you enjoyed and the flavor extended into what is offered readers like me.

Thanks for sharing, and as always, write on.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
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Review of Foolish Pride  
Review by Bob's Alter...
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
I enjoyed the visit to romance back when the world seemed a lot more innocent in 2007 and 2012.

The poem flowed well with rhyme fitting the context of the theme rather than seeming forced into place. I can see why it is a winning post surviving the tests of time.

I could see this being published without any changes

Thank you for sharing.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
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Review by Bob's Alter...
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
I chanced upon this 2011 read through the 'Read & Review' button. Sixteen chapters of well written work is to be admired. The variety of genres chosen peaked my interest and I read on.

There is a good blend of dialogue and description. The characters come across smooth and natural. The events are interesting and resolution believable.

The one thing I looked for but did not find was a link to the folder where the other chapters might be found. That would make it easier for readers finding this window into the work to know where to look to continue on their reading path.

Thanks for sharing a fun read.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
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