|Note: this is just my oppinion and I mean no offense by it. Take from it what you want, and ignore the rest.
First of all, wow. That was so heartbraking. And wonerfully written. Nice job! The story had a nice flow to it, and the emotion was great. The story was so believable that I felt as if I were sitting in the classroom myself. There were a few grammatical errors that jumped out at me, but very few.
When I read the first paragraph, I was a little confused. At first I thought that it was being narrated in third person, then when you go on to write " I tried as she did;" I was rather lost. Maybe I'm just slow, but I think in the beggining you should put something like, ' I silenlty watched as Terry tried very hard to hold back her tears' or something that will let the reader know that it's being told in first person.
Also, when you wrote 'Where you stood in the strict observations in the 'upper' ninth grade class was determined by what you wore'
I would change that to ' Where the strict obbservations of what you wore determined where you stood in the "upper" ninth grade class.'
For the sake of clarity.
Where you write, ' I think, but did nothing.' I would change that to, ' I think, but do nothing.' To keep the tense the same.
Lastly, I would change, ' Dana was one the branded undesirables' to ' Dana was also unfortunate enough to be branded undesirable' and then add a comma after undesirable.
It was a great story, and I hope this review was helpful.
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **