*Magnify*
SPONSORED LINKS
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/briankhaney
Review Requests: ON
1 Public Reviews Given
Public Reviews
1
1
Review by BK Haney
Rated: E | (3.0)
Hmm. I take issue with item #4, third sentence: "Everyone is not a winner and all employees should not be treated equally." Those are both hyperboles.

When you say "Everyone is not a winner," it also means. "No one is a winner." In other words, if someone is a winner, that is logically excluded from "Everyone is not a winner." The blanket statement would have to be true for all people included in "everyone."

The same applies to "All employees should not be treated equally." That statement means that no two employees should be treated equally. If any two employees should be treated equally, that violates the blanket statement, "All employees should not be treated equally."

Also, there should be a comma after the word "winner." "Everyone is not a winner" is otherwise a complete sentence, as is "All employees should not be treated equally," so the conjunction "and" should be used with a comma after the preceding word.

And in the last sentence of that paragraph, "The bottom 10 percent are holding your team back, show them the door," the comma after "back" should be a semicolon or a period. Both phrases are complete sentences.

Or you could precede the entire last sentence with "if": "If the bottom 10 percent are holding your team back, <then> show them the door." "<then>" is implied by the comma, so you wouldn't have to state it explicitly.
1 Reviews · *Magnify*
Page of 1 · 25 per page   < >
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/briankhaney