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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/bschmeltzer
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12 Public Reviews Given
12 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
1
1
Review of Dear Angela  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Dear Charley, As you know I am writing you from the grave situation you have placed me in. After all the deep emotional turmoil that ensued when I left you. I knew I would never feel the same about any thing. I will never feel the same about you about myself about relationships or even about life itself. You said it is terra firma from here on out. Before you snuffed the life from our being together you said that Angela was to be the desired jewel upon your arm. Well I must confess to you now that as you build upon the new foundation I will haunt your dreams and you will scream my name when she wears your favorite pumps and bustier.
Forever and ever amen,
It will never end!
Terra
PS Have you seen my sandals.
2
2
Rated: E | (5.0)
Wow Wrote On.You really nailed it. The cold intemperance we show each other is astounding. Keep expressing yourself you have a gift. The spirit should be carried by all of us year round. I hope you keep your desires strong as your emotions and share your light towards others. I hope at least someone got gradpa some socks it get so cold.....Write on...
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Review of The Blind Cat  
Rated: E | (3.5)
Cute indeed. Not sure if it would really fit but when I read this I ended it by reading There once was a cat,
Who was blind as a bat,
So he couldn't catch mice,
And had plenty of lice,
And got laughed at by many a rat.

That cat
just an idea . very good keep up the wonderful work. Write On!
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4
Review of The Missing Heart  
Rated: E | (3.0)
I feel the rhythm to this peice. The sequences are a bit vague but with an imagination it works. Pain is only real to those who have felt it. The casual observer can only sympathize, they can not feel what you are feeling. Keep up the thought process. A clearer tendancy will come as you express more of the true emotions as they spring from the heart. Wright On!
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Review of You.  
Rated: E | (4.0)
I like the use of colours . The spelling provides an old world quality feel. Rainbows also provide a mysticism that contributes to this piece and its being so heart felt. I would probably move the fluorescent reference to the first or second line. Also I would center the poem and allow the reader to take in its full meaning. With a change or two, if I may take this liberty. Write On!

I want to paint you
but colours won’t do;
they’re too static.
I would need more flourescent fever
than a rainbow to make you again.
Your beauty is forever moving
- ungraspable
for any one person, yet accepted by everyone.
I am just happy to be lost in you
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6
Rated: 18+ | (2.5)
Poem related a great deal of pain felt after a serious relationship ends. Writer would do best to recognise the Phoenix as a rebirth of a new life. Leaving the past behind. Does not do enough to establish the Difference between the two hearts involved. Strong emotion definately gets the point accross.
All in all keep the emotions flowing a great release. Take no action.
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