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Printed from http://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/buckoontzl
Review Requests: ON
24 Public Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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1
Review by Buck
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
Hi, This is the thing I know happens to my soul. What does it do for you if you take out the word depression? Does it communicate to a larger audience? Maybe the one that does not experience depression? One other element is "it's" cyclical nature, mysteriously occurs under weird and asundry phenomena, did you want to be more descriptive? Great stuff here, the last line "and kills" doesn't work right, although the thought is clear. On a personal note when I place the 12 gauge shotgun barrel of life in my mouth, I feel alive. Write More on this, Buck
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Review of Hitler's Price  
Review by Buck
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
Thanks for solid writing and believing the monstrous atrocities of Hitler's Third Reich. Many are tragedicly lulled forgeting how humanity is capable of destruction. The message is a spiritual force, which I deeply appreciate, works reality, though ignored by rational thinkers, mostly historians bound by historicism. Fortunately you are not, thus fantasy can close the gap between real and imagined events, however, what is often more powerful is a closer rendition of truth. Such was included in the middle of your work when visions of torture and genocide coinsided with Hitler's encounter. Subtley is advantageous and deceptively persuasive, more idea conciousness is generated in feeling and picture with less words, it separates writing from other mediums, flagellates our imagination center. I would edit to clear up some spelling and unnecessary additions. Ask what deters the force of the story, is it the description, or does the device of the cane add drama? Where will the reader get bogged down, lose interest? Keep writing, Buck
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Review of DADDY'S SHOTGUN  
Review by Buck
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Ann, Me too. 1967, Dad drunk, gun at Mom's head, us three huddled around. She stared him down, fear became an insufficient tool to shake protective instincts.
I once had a Doctor say 'so what's so different about you?' I've thought a great deal about that not so rhetorical question.
A little wordy for me. Want more about after, will it be a great escape story? Keep writing. Buck
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Review of Let me  
Review by Buck
Rated: E | (3.5)
Thanks for Let Me, Eva. Concept is awesome, I want this under my skin but doesn't get there for me, maybe its word choice. Is 'sweater' to distant? Or maybe direction is confusing, is this feeling inside out or outside needing in?
The demand is clear in the end, i felt what you want, it works, could that begin this piece, possibly adding tension? Good work, your on to something here. Buck
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Review of One  
Review by Buck
Rated: 18+ | (3.5)
Epic beginning, a little heavy on the amazing powers for me. One reference is capable of producing the desire to read on and instill the idea of events to come. Let me imagine with a big picture, can't see the world, maybe intentional? I like the seen of the god among men, name? One is not so average, thanks.
Overall, please continue, you got my hackling interest up. Buck
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