Great short story, does leave one hanging at the end. Might be an interesting first chapter to a spooky short novel or maybe a little bit longer "short story". Well written, engaging, but makes one want to read more (which is good). If you do write anymore chapters put me on your mailing list. I think I found just one typo, and no grammatical errors (which I consider important). Thanks for sharing.
I liked it, and felt it could yield a few different interpretations depending on ones beliefs and other factors. Can't help wondering how it would sound sung to an Irish folk melody.
If this is fictional, it is great. If based on true happenings it is amazing that you have the wherewithall to share it with the readers. I believe that writing is therapeutic and that you have probably touched many with this poem. A mother's rejection of her child is a statement about the mother not the child, but it certainly impacts the child. You have illustrated this very well. I have only a few correctiions to suggest, but they are grammatical in nature or spelling errors. In line 5 "consumed" rather than consumes seems what you intended. In line 6 the line begins with "one", but I think "once" would be better. And lastly in line 16 you use "their" but I think you mean "they are" which is spelled they're. These are small errors and do not detract from the depth and beauty of your poem. I just think the poem would flow more smoothly with them.
I liked it. It made me laugh and seemed lighthearted even though it was a heavy subject (war, monarchy, demanding of servants,spoils of wealth and position). It makes me think of the tales about Henry VIII, who was a bit notorious for his demands from the staff. The rhyming is good, and it has a light sentiment.
It was a long read and I didn't finish it. But from a bit more than half of it, I have formed some thoughts.
It seemed well researched, well thought out, and well written. I saw little or no grammatical errors. I was able
to visualize the activities and instruments of the gladiators. But is isn't the sort of story I would choose, and
that is just a matter of taste (and perhaps related to my age). It certainly held my attention dispite my dislike of the violence and the human interactions made it worth reading. Good luck with your future writings and maybe I'll read something of yours again.
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/catlaady
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.21 seconds at 8:40pm on Apr 24, 2024 via server web2.
View Portfolio
Visit Notebook
Send Gift Points
Awards
Badges
Send Email
Community Newsfeed
General Discussion
Sponsored Items
Book of Trinkets
Static Items
Books
Groups
Interactive Stories
Audio
Campfire Creatives
Community Notes
Crossword Puzzles
Documents
Folders
Images
In & Outs
Madlibs
Photo Albums
Polls
Product Reviews
Quizzes
Survey Forms
Web Pages
Word Searches
My review has been submitted for consideration in "
