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Printed from http://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/cboland06
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3 Public Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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Review of Forget Love  
Review by C.B. Roberts
Rated: ASR | (2.5)
I'm going to say that you know a thing or two about ponies. I really like the incorporation of anypony in place of anybody. Placing me into the eyes of a horse, let alone a horse that has no past and yet that is what Caring Doo is interested in. Is this a foreshadowing of events to come for this horse or are these recent events that have occurred? It's a piece that could use some work and maybe add a little of something to the main character's past (Perhaps I am confused with the portion of this story).
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Review by C.B. Roberts
Rated: E | (3.0)
The alliteration in this piece is twisting my tongue in all sorts of knots, which is a good thing for you...not so much my tongue though. The first paragraph of stanzas (lines 1-16) are amazingly done length wise. I like how it starts out quick and then the lines seem to get longer. I hope I do not cross lines here but the way the lines are written makes me feel like the death was quick but acceptance of it has taken time.
The Recall line seems a little drawn out-I suggest taking out one word (Guide or Friend) and leaving it at that.
Excellent piece otherwise.
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