The story of Honey-pot Lane, Sammy, Cynthia, and her nemesis Alfred Stimpson, made a wonderful morning read to accompany my coffee.
Cynthia reminded me of an evil, not quite so smart Jeeves while Sammy reminded me of a slightly smarter Bertie Wooster. I would enjoy reading more of these characters.
There was one spot that confused me a bit- the paragraph that had Cynthia watching the bricklayer. His name is listed as Sam and it seems a bit too close to Sammy. I had to re-read that paragraph and the preceding one to make sure I didn't miss anything.
Loved this sarcastic, tongue-in-cheek examination of the current mental health modus operandi. So true! Push the pills over everything else. Some pills are a godsend, but personally I feel they are far over-prescribed as well as certain disorders *eyes ADHD and Bipolar* being misdiagnosed. All to feed the pharmaceutical companies and insurance.
Sorry, I digress on what is supposed to be a review of your poem, but that is just how good your poem is! It made me think!
My favorite line(s) were:
"Why not a tablet
When the Black Dog comes?"
and
"Trauma, lack and fear
Beneath the surface unaddressed"
Wow. Within the first few sentences I was having difficulty breathing and despite sitting in an air conditioned room I felt the hot sun beating down on my back, sweat rolling off me.
I continued reading this marvelous short story and I "became" the protagonist in your work. I felt his losses, I felt the pains of his labor and his joys and sorrows that he was sharing, via you, the author.
You have done an amazing job here, simply amazing. There were a few places that could have used commas or perhaps some different phrasing. No, not that last one- the phrasing fit with the protagonist and his circumstances. Again, amazing job and I look forward to reading more of your work!
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