*Magnify*
SPONSORED LINKS
BY ONLINE AUTHORS
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/chall88
Review Requests: OFF
4 Public Reviews Given
4 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
1
1
Review by Cassie Hall
Rated: E | (3.0)
Eeenteresting.

Who is this Daryl, hmm?

I liked the relationship between the main character and her brother- very real.

Good description throughout. It can occasionally use some condensing, however. For example: Ch 1 paragraph 4: "In the center of the room was an older man with a white lab coat on and a tie that had snowmen on it. He had light white hair, glasses, and slight wrinkles above his eyebrows. I could barely make out his nametag, but when I squinted I saw that it part of it read 'Merlich.'" The description about his tie is good, and his hair, and his wrinkles. Pick your favorite descriptors- condense that baby up!

Good read so far.
1 Reviews · *Magnify*
Page of 1 · 25 per page   < >
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/chall88