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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/chani_jeanmari
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12 Public Reviews Given
Public Reviews
1
1
Review by CJ Rain
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
How in the name of grace can you ask me to review this chapter...?

I actually like Torin more than I thought I would and I would be lying if I told you it's not about the Literamancer part of his personality or the mysteriousness about him or his humor... Am I supposed to like this guy or not?

You said you're still working on this Chapter so I'm not sure if I should review it or not... But I'm gonna be honest I got so trapped in the tale I forgot to check for mistakes except for in the beginning;

"such things were so common that they did not even look and stair anymore." stare instead of stair... but that's all I caught.

And just because you let me read this I'm going to reward you the 500 GP's I get for this... just promise me you're going to send me the rest when your finished... that's all I'm asking.

Because would you leave a book after two chapters?

Thank you for trusting me again with your work, keep in touch...
2
2
Review of Aftershock  
Review by CJ Rain
Rated: E | (3.5)
I really like this, but please explain

"A candle flame is dimmed,
bells now to toll."

The rest is very descriptive and I like when I can see, or smell or imagine the words.

Thank you for sharing, please keep on writing.
3
3
Review of Love's Infinity  
Review by CJ Rain
Rated: E | (4.0)
I like that this piece is descriptive, even if it is short.

Thank you for sharing, please keep on writing because you write brilliantly.
4
4
Review by CJ Rain
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
WOW, when can I read the second Chapter, I'm so intrigued now, I want to know who wrote the letter and I want to find out what is actually going on with Torin. I must say I am intrigued and your readers will be too...

I only found a few grammar (well more like typing) mistakes:

"that was sitting on the one of the seats." I believe the first "the" should be erased.

""In the marketplace mostly, but us runner boys use it to," said the boy." 'too' instead of 'to'

"because he is not quite the man you use to know" 'used to' instead of 'use to'

"Both the woman and Habert noticed Kenton" 'Halbert' instead of 'Habert'

But seriously I love it, may I please be one of the first to read the next Chapter? Otherwise I'm going to have to hunt you down... grrr *Bigsmile*



5
5
Review of Heart Heavy  
Review by CJ Rain
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
WHAT?!

MORE! MORE! MORE! WE WANT MORE!

Hehe, wow! very good! I love it, it was written great and i'm so intrigued i'm almost crying because that's where it ended! Come on!

There was a few mistakes, not bad ones, in the beginning you repeated bright in the sentence; 'It was too bright for him to know where he was or what he was looking at, but he knew it was bright.' the sentence is difficult to read.

'The opportunity arose where Brandon knew that he was the only person that could possibly reach that girl in time to reach her' - the repeat of the word reach... the sentence is confusing.

But other than that - GREAT JOB! I love it ...

As they say write on!
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Please come review our work too, Aces.
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