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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/charris7696
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13 Public Reviews Given
Public Reviews
1
1
Review of I Miss  
Review by CHarris
Rated: E | (5.0)
I have been away from this site for awhile and first thing I came across when I checked in today was this. I don't review much lately, but this was, to me, a great piece of writing. Easy to read, word flow linked to the flow of emotion I felt throughout, great imagery and detail in tight word flow. I am glad I found this. Very well done and thank you for sharing it.

Chris
2
2
Review of Butterflies Die  
Review by CHarris
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Simply well done. Congrats to you, most pieces do not move me...this one did. Thank you.
3
3
Review by CHarris
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
I have been on this site for years and add more content than I provide feedback with regard to other content. Generally because my life is so packed I barely even get to write nor visit this site anymore...but I am working on that.

But this I think is superb writing. I love the presence and character you gave to the wave and circumstance. And the read was smooth and strong, building up like a flow of rushing water. It also has a feeling of natural sensuality to it that is primal of the raw power of the earth, and succinct in its end game.

Really a nice piece of work. I pop into this site once in awhile (I used to have alot more free time before my twins were born :)) and love finding things like this. Keep it up and I look forward to reading more.

Best regards, and I hope many more have the priviledge to read this.

Chris
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4
Review of Whither My Soul  
Review by CHarris
Rated: E | (5.0)
Don't change a thing, this is a powerful piece. Reminds of my own mother and the hell I probably put her through myself when I was young.

Very well done from a poetic standpoint, clear emotions, images, and the realtionships between the 2 halves of each line with the way you have them broken up (the ...) I think is perfect for this piece.

Best regards!

- Chris
5
5
Review by CHarris
Rated: E | (3.5)
This is a nice poem. I like the way it speaks to the muse of the subject. From a structural standpoint, as a Shakespearean style sonnet I think you need to look at the following:

1. Very minor but these style sonnets are supposed to have each line start with a capital letter (I just learned that this year from an English professor who happens to also be my best friends father and biggest critic, lol)
2. The rhyme scheme is a little off, supposed to be abab, cdcd, efef, gg where every "a" rhymes with "a", "b" with "b" and so on...yours appears to be abab, cdcd, defe, gg.

Overall though I enjoyed it, thanks for sharing.

- Chris
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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/charris7696