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5 Public Reviews Given
29 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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Review of Rough Draft  
Review by Chase Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ ★★★★★ | (3.0)
good writing and style... a few suggestions

the main character doesn't really sound 16. Maybe this was intentional in the way the character speaks but it breaks the illusion of this being a different character than Gabriel. Both the main character and Gabriel's speech is very similar.

I also understand this is a rough draft but where is the story going? what is your audience reading and why? the main char says "our meeting had left me changed, forever. My heart had been awakened and then lost. Lost to a man of the shadows of the night". Why? it doesn't seem like anything life changing really happened?

just some thoughts for the rough draft...
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Review of The Attack  
Review by Chase Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ ★★★★★ | (4.0)
nice wording.. very descriptive...
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