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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/cheriemorelle
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Public Reviews
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Review of Autumn on Earth  
Review by Chérie Morelle
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello Athena,

This is a colourfully written poem that will fill your body with warmth and your nose with the aromas of pumpkin spice and cinnamon desserts. This short and flavourful poem reads like a knife through butter. Every line will swirl and twirl around you like a breeze to put you in the spirit of a warm, golden autumn. The same rhyme and the use repetition makes it easy and joyful to read. There's no reason not to read this poem!

Love,
Chérie Morelle
2
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Review by Chérie Morelle
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
Hello Sir,

         This poem touches on the themes of love and longing. The speaker is a man who is yearning for a woman. The voice in this piece is full of the earnestness and fieriness of a person who's having a night-long lament by the window over a stolen heart. The agitated feeling of not having something so desired can be felt within the lines of this poem. The poem has a beautiful flow and sweetness that it pains the reader to feel the speaker going through these emotions alone.

         The speaker is convinced, at first, that the woman feels the same. He believes that she is silently calling for a man. Two people, two lonely hearts, craving a tangible and sensual love. Craving a body to hold and to be held by. But the speaker feels like the girl who stole his heart doesn't care about him. He's lost in whether or not she feels same way about him as he does for her, or if she has the same tugging feelings in her chest as he does. This poem, this story being told, doesn't end in a happily ever after. The poem has a harsher ending. As he waits for her to make a telling move, the speaker grows a cynical and bitter outlook on love and women.

         Well, Spirital Dawning, darling, I think the girl is waiting for you to make a move. When a woman tells you to leave, she really actually wants you to stay and hold her in your arms. When she tells you no, she really means yes. When she pretends like she doesn't care, it's because she wants you to try harder.

I think this was a really sweet and expressive poem. I really don't have any tips for improvement. The only I would tell you is to make it longer to paint a full picture of how you are feeling for the readers.
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