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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/chewboca
Review Requests: OFF
10 Public Reviews Given
Public Reviews
1
1
Review of The Coroner  
Review by wishful
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
I enjoyed your story. There is a few lines that have extra wording and wording time tense mistakes.

Example you have
For him the night was still young and he there was much more work to be done before another morning greeted the people of Philadelphia.


The was should be is. For him the night is still young

for him there is much more work to be done or and there is much more work to be done

before another morning greets the people of Philadelphia.



Overall you have a great story. It held my attention with the mystery of the hero. Also there is good descriptions of the characters that brings out the scenes when your reading the story.

Keep up the good work. Iam sending gp point for a great story.
2
2
Review by wishful
Rated: E | (5.0)
Thank you for sharing your story. I really enjoyed it. I seen one error in the beginning. You have
" Here, let me help you place it on the fridge." I think you mean in the fridge. Overall it is a nice holiday story.
3
3
Review by wishful
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
I like this,it show some of the true thoughts and feelings that are in the mind of both men and women. Some of the things that hinder and hold us back, as well as some of the wants and fears.
4
4
Review of Bully  
Review by wishful
Rated: E | (4.5)
I like the story. I did see a couple lines that are incomplete sentences. Over all though the story is great.
5
5
Review by wishful
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
Sorry I couldn't finish the story I keep getting confused in the setting. I think that the setting was a gaming business but then the story seem to drift to what seemed more like a whorhouse setting and back to what seemed like they were in a business. I think what I read was good but the setting is where I can't keep up.
6
6
Review by wishful
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
I think that if you text and drive you should be held responsible for you actions. You made the choice to get on your phone and you know there's a chance that you could cause a accident. It's my opinion that if you are old enough to have a driver's license then you are also old enough to take responsibility for your choice to get on the phone. There is always to choice to pull over in a parking lot or other safe place to check your message or whatever it is that you need to do on your phone making it safer for yourself as well as everyone else.
7
7
Review of A Legacy of Life  
Review by wishful
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
It grabbed my attention and keep it because the wonder of what happened to grandma which I didn't find but then the new question keep me reading. What will they find when that box up Grandmas room.The sadness at the being switches to laughter showing that there can be a smile even when there is a loss.
8
8
Review of Broken love  
Review by wishful
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
This describes a feeling I have felt but couldn't put in words. I think you done a really good job at explain the emotion of emptiness but at the same time feeling every other emotion.
9
9
Review of Double Wide  
Review by wishful
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
funny. I got a much need laugh.
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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/chewboca