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Review of The Journey  Open in new Window.
Review by Wendy Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (2.5)
Hi, my thoughts.

I found this interesting but I kept wanting more. There is so much of interest that you could take farther, although I am not sure if this is a chapter of something bigger or what. Sorry, I haven't used writing.com much so I am just learning.

I did get a bit of a sense of who was narrating and seeing through those eyes, which to me seems pretty remarkable considering the shortness of the piece.

All in all, I enjoyed this.

1. You grabbed me right off the hop with the beginning para, especially the "maybe it was an eternity. . ." I felt the stretch of time.

2. I found a timing issue with Samantha having been quiet for days. I hadn't gotten the sense that days had passed. I think just expanding would fix that.

3. You made me want to smack Samantha! lol I feel bad for her ending but somehow. . . too bad for the others in her boat.

Thanks for the good read!
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