A delightful little rhyme to which most parents will willingly relate, in truth, everyone of us can see in this verse the trials of bed time, especially when we were not in the least tired, usually about 30 seconds before being well and truly in the land of nod. I like this, a pleasing bed time fantasy.
It is difficult to sum up a life so succinctly, including all its ups and downs, triumphs and failures without resorting to sentimentality. Here the author having covered all the above, does not shy away from the fact that the day will come when we all will draw our final breath but, even after death, life will carry on, we will be but memories. An enjoyable read that puts life into perspective, everyone born into this world must one day leave it, they won’t leave a vacancy because someone will be born to fill the gap that remains.
This reminds me of the classic fable, I believe by Aesop, about the young boy, the old man and the Donkey. Passers-by could not resist telling the trio who should, or should not, be riding the poor beast, nobody has or offers a solution but feels compelled to poke their noses into the distress of others. With the biblical reference there is even a nod to the parable of the Good Samaritan. With a little effort this cautionary tale could easily be transformed in to a rhyming string of couplets which in turn with a modicum of musical ability, a skill I don’t possess, this could form the basis of an anthem that would be well received at Pride. I would encourage the author to use this as a solid foundation of a more substantial piece of work. I am not a member of the LGBT community but have friends who are, I’m sure they could relate to the sentiments carried in the narrative. A good piece of work.
That song was part of the sound track to my teenage years the authors verse proves to be the antithesis to the perceived meaning of the lyrics. Reading it, short though it may be, transported me Tardis like through Time and Space back to the school end-of-term disco we’d all been looking forward to for what felt like an eternity but was only a few short weeks. Even now I remember the heart break I felt at the rejection of the girl of my dreams. Unlike Dr Who, we have to live with those memories. As the years passed, we became close friends, but never to return to those blissful nights of adolescent love. I enjoyed reading the entry, even if it brought long forgotten rebuffed evening to the front of my mind.
I have a friend who lived in Rhodesia as Zimbabwe was called during the apartheid era, and she confirmed that the African mothers did allow their children to play with non-lethal insects and animals as part of their life lessons; maybe we should allow our children to scrape their knees in similar learning environments. The verse is a warning that not everything is as innocuous as it appears, sometimes the best and only way to learn is through, literally bitter experience.
The author has combined a simple verse with a harsh lesson in survival at the same time giving non Africans a window into the culture that has seen man not only survive the conditions there but to thrive alongside a cornucopia of hidden perils. Using this, the author has taught me that even non English words can be incorporated into a well-constructed verse. I enjoyed this poem on both levels.
A short but very sweet verse which as I read sport I can’t remember writing this, the author drew me into the narrative such that if I closed my eyes I could picture my adolescent first love with all its highs and lows heading to its inevitable conclusion of a heart break parting. The opening describes those bitter sweet furtive glances we hope only the target of our affections will see. As the relationship grew, the author describes, almost wistfully, how they longed to be as one, dancing on air as their existence merged. A happy, carefree stage of life, that at the time, we all thought our world had ended, but as one matures, we realise that the thread of love turns to the bond of friendship, a bond that allows us to filter the tender moments that stay with us for life. I enjoyed the poem as it reminded me of several past would be life partners who yet became lifelong friends and commend Bruce for writing a virtual universal biography.
Even without the description at the start of this post, it was obvious even to me, a man, that the poem was about pregnancy. It is to the authors credit that this short poem is self explanatory, it is the unborn infant that is the subject of the narrative. an enjoyable verse, that without the foreword has a neat twist, a sting in the tale.
This poem can be summed up from the written quotation taken from the Old Testament book of Ecclesiastes chapter 3, there is a time for everything from birth to death and all that happens between. The author has managed to comment on the whole of life without sentiment. Overall a very good precis of a life well lived that can be read in memory of almost anyone. Personally, I enjoyed reading it being able to overlay it on the lives of those I’ve lost. The author has written a universal eulogy that would not be out of place at any memorial, I would have no hesitation in recommending it as a reading in any funeral service.
A heartfelt lament to earlier, hard industrial times that has echoes in the abandoned tin mines of Cornwall and worked out coal seams in other mining regions of the world. St Peter's Mission could be a Methodist Chapel in Wales or an Orthodox Church in Eastern Europe, all though many miles apart physically and theologically as different as sand and salt, they all share the same indefinable bond: community.
Although familiar with this type of verse structure, I am no fan of twisted couplets. Having read this poem, my opinion has not changed; however the author of this verse deserves some credit because the underlying message is not lost on the reader.
A short but nicely written story which encapsulates all that is bad and good about cerebral palsy. Cerebral palsy (CP) is a problem that affects muscle tone, movement, and motor skills. It hinders the body's ability to move in a coordinated and purposeful way. This condition does not affect the person’s mental capacity, but man’s ability to ostracise those who are different knows no bounds, yet by not treating those with CP as though they carry some exotic contagious malady is common place. Someone with CP is as capable as anyone to be an intellectual high flyer but the stigma that surrounds it forms a barrier that is as real as it is invisible. I commend the bravery of the author for the telling of the story with no effort to play on the emotions of the reader.
A gentle easy read but hiding a deeper meaning, you go to a special place where you relax, In that moment of relaxation you open up the mysteries of life, with a nod to the Devine you've written a fine secular piece.
I can relate to Gregory Paul’s verse, can’t as I am within my own body held captive by a mysterious illness that is MS. Marking at the poem and a whole, it makes easy reading and the Rome is quite satisfying; however, at this point I diverged from the authors intent which appears to draw a bleak picture as to the future. I do not believe in negativity even though I can see no end to my condition no one knows what good fortune may be just around the corner. Overall I think ‘Trapped From Within’, is a good poem, but doesn’t seem to leave the reader with any encouragement to carry on fighting. I enjoyed the poem, but as an optimist would have liked to have seen not so much a happy ending, but at least an upbeat tone. For it can only write from experience as they see it, unless I walk in your shoes I have no right to criticise your inner feelings. Overall, a good poem but I was left wanting more and in need of something more uplifting.
I like the mixture of philosophy and rhyme, but it can also be read as a cry for help. This takes nothing away from the poem as a whole. I deal with a number of people in the disabled community and can name at least half a dozen individuals whom your poem describes perfectly.
The metaphorical use of the umbrella is exactly what people do to shield themselves from the outside world, disguising their disability from what they perceive to be an uncaring world. People generally do care about anonymous individuals and whereas the problem describes an individual hiding themselves from the gaze of others, the general population use their umbrella to shield themselves from the needs of others.
I enjoyed the poem and would commend it is reading to other members of the disabled community of which I am one.
My background is mainly Physics and software engineering so I was grateful for your explanation of a Sestet, I wish I had read that before your poem. On first reading it was not the easiest, but having read your notes, I re-read your verse and this time understood it with the information you provided. I thought the narrative and then enjoyed the whole composition, I commend you for your use of this form of poetry and you have taught me something new
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