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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/darkstardragon
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23 Public Reviews Given
Public Reviews
1
1
Review by veemon657
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
this is a nice story i myself own a colt .45 very reliable gun in a pinch and quite easy to maintain i've never been to Detroit but i've heard a that area not the friendliness of places that's for sure but can't say it's much better where i live i got stuck in the bad part o town which is how i came to own my colt but anyway mindless babbling aside this story was a good read not rushed which is a good sign enough detail to catch interest but not so much that the same scene drags on for 3 pages (yes there are some stories on some of the other sites i go on where there are 3 chapters devoted to just a card game which is not even the main part of the story) however a little more detail could have been added like were there any people around the color the car was ya know ambient details
2
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Review by veemon657
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
well i'll be damned this is one hell of start.
ok first the good things i noticed
1 plot seems good, (definitely caught my attention at least) 2 very well worded in describing the details including actually naming the plant he was in (most stories i've read including one not on this site have just said something like this strange plant or whatever was growing here) 3 you didn't jump from one scene to the next it it steadily flowed together (i've seen stories that have good promise at first but then it starts jumping around and ends up throwing me off and i end up getting confused) 4 I LOVE DRAGONS 5 i like how you intertwined the accents that were truely believed to be used in medieval times it fit the setting of the time period very well
and now the not so good things i noticed 1 as i said it was very detailed but that was also not such a good thing as an avid writer i've learned over the years that yes too little detailed and the reader will leave before finishing but too many details and it could either make the story shorter than expected or give away more of the plot than you wanted (something i learned the hard way) 2 to me it seemed like you had rushed into the battle scene yes it was an excellent read hands down but sometimes people like to be lead into it like how the girl MADE the deal with him or when it happened 3 to me it would have been better if you had given a little bit more info of Zahilla origins like where he came from how did he live before he came to that village what kind of place he grew up in ya know that kind of stuff well i'll be following this one for sure it sounds promising and exciting
here's a little something for the good story use it well
dragon out
3
3
Review by veemon657
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
niice story i i found it interesting that a phoneix doesn't keep rencarnite form it'd ashes endeffenity this story is very detailed and indepth i'd like to see a second part explaining what happens next with there baby and the baby phoneix if you want to. other than that this is pretty much perfectly written story
4
4
Review by veemon657
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
hm this seems like a pretty good start i going to the next part right after this and give a final report on my opinion but so far it looking really good the description is what really caught my eye where as a person who sound lie there in there mid 20's has weeks to live but tries to do what someone would pretty much do in 80 years so i can't wait to read the end keep it up now on to the next part
5
5
Review by veemon657
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
nice job i see you worked well and hard on it very well detailed and explained the story plot is was also greatly detailed and everything seem to meld together perfectly i greatly recoremend advertising it on the site i'm very sure other readers would be very interested in it as i was again good job keep writing

dark out
6
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Review of School of Pokemon  
Review by veemon657
Rated: XGC | (5.0)
good job butpoor flint he had so much to look foward to with serene all to be taken away from him it's really sad that she was saving her innocents for him only to get taken by rape lets hope lint can some how find happyness after all this but one can only hope after seeingyour one true love die in such ahorrfing way it's getting to hhard to see the key board restin peace serene flint will never forget you
7
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Review of Aria  
Review by veemon657
Rated: XGC | (5.0)
nice good story i like how she wanted to wait till there where married but apa convinced her to just go with it
8
8
Review of Condition Black  
Review by veemon657
Rated: GC | (5.0)
nice strory love the action scene's it' really added beliveabilty to the story it really in depth and realistic details i;m really impressed on how clear it was and how all the details made it feel like i was watching it as if movie and not a story it would be nice to see it as a movie and such keep up the good work
dark star out
9
9
Review of The Dragon Rises  
Review by veemon657
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
woah just WOAH this is really good i'm not a big an of novella big i saw it was about dragons so ichecked it out i was only going to read the first chapter but the i got hooked on it and kept reading til the end every thing was perfect the puncition the clertry the spelling and grammer you don't need inprovement you need a publisher and get thihis out in the real market and not just online woah 5 stars good work
10
10
Review of Giant Lucarios  
Review by veemon657
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
read alot of this story even when i wasn't a member so i decided to join so i can share my opinion and so far and i really like this story i hope that there will be more to it it's really good would like to add some but i don't really know what to put but i'm deffentally going to think about something to add to it but for now i have some thing i need to do as well
11
11
Review by veemon657
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
very good all chapters are well written and are clear as crystal plot is good all writers who particapated really know what there doing i still have a lot to learn since i'm new here but i'm sure i can help but it was some sotryies i had already read here that made me dicide to join up and start my writing on a new level i give you gife pionts just for writing this but i hve none unfourtitly
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