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Public Reviews
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626
Review by Angus
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
*BalloonR* Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon" ! *BalloonR*

Greetings, Marcus Silverman!
This is a very well written article, and considering it's your first piece on here, I'm really impressed.
I know you have this under comedy and you meant this as tongue-in-cheek, but this does make sense in its own weird way. To be honest, I had an inkling about where you were going with this before I even finished the 1st paragraph!
You've made some extremely valid points here, and you backed them up with facts, which lends even more credence to the article. The prison system in this country is getting out of hand, but I don't think this remedy would be taken seriously by our government. (not to be political here, but I'm sure little tiny donny j rump would just love to do something like this).
As I said this is very well written, and not just in terms of spelling and grammar, but in the subject matter as well. It almost reads like an Op-Ed piece in a newspaper, and you obviously some writing experience in your background.
Well done, my fried!
One comment, one niggle:
'Between shanks, radio transistor tattoos, and immersion heaters, prisoners have a long history of innovation despite limited resources. (hilarious, and so very true! *Laugh*)
'Sending prisoners to space in a win for all parties involved.' (is)
Kee ponw ritin gon, Marcus, and welcome to WdC! If you like to write, then you're going to love it here!
PS-You might want to get your bioblock (biography) set up so we can know a little something about you (hobbies, favorite books/authors, location, etc.), but that's up to you, of course.
PSS-And since you’re new here, perhaps you’d like to check out "Noticing Newbies"  and introduce yourself to the rest of the community if you haven’t already.

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#1300305 by Maryann

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627
627
Review by Angus
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Bon jour, Tursk!
This is good. I know it was for the Dialogue 500 Contest, but this the only story that dealt with a talking fish (I think).
What's neat about this is that you're arguing with a fish (named Paul? *Laugh*)over whether or not he's dead, and it comes full circle after you try to convince him he's NOT while he maintains he IS, only to have you both agree that he is DEAD! And now he's DEPRESSED because he REALIZES he's dead!
What really stood out though was you pointing out his smell. There's nothing like the smell of rotting fish! *Sick*
Good job, Tursk!
A couple of tiny niggles:
“I’m dead(,) you know!"
"No(,) Paul... You are dead."
Kee ponw ritin gon, thanks for the chuckles, good luck in the contest, and have a great day!

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#1300305 by Maryann

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628
628
Review by Angus
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*

Aloha there, Harry, and happy 17th *Shock2* 'birthday' on here!
My folks had some friends with a horse ranch when I was a kid, and sometimes they let me ride their horses. But thankfully I never had an encounter like your dad did!
A true tale, eh? Glad he didn't get hurt!
I'm no expert on poetry, but the meter (syllable count?) in this seemed a little bumpy. But for getting your story across, it worked well.
Overall, nice job, Harry!
Kee ponw ritin gon, thanks for sharing this, and may you have many more wonderful 'birthdays' on WdC!
PS-On the few times I did ride horses at that ranch, I wound up not being able to walk the next day because my legs and butt were so dang sore! *Laugh*

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#1188309 by iKïyå§ama

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629
629
Review by Angus
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Greetings, Kevin!
I'm a 49er fan, but I've never had anything against the Eagles. In fact, on the like or dislike level, I like them.
But to what you're saying here, I know you've been through some tough times up until a couple of years ago when you beat Brady and his sad sack Patriots in the SuperBowl! I think the whole country, sans New England, was rooting for you!
And I too, despise the cowgirls! America's team? Maybe decades ago, but now they suck, and they will forever suck until they get rid of their owner and head coach and most of the team!
Anywho, thanks for the history lesson. I knew some of it, but not that part about losing the #1 draft pick!
Kee ponw ritin gon, Kevin! From one football fan to another, have a great evening, and don't throw any more snowballs at Santa! *Laugh*

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#1300305 by Maryann

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630
630
Review of The Missing Arm  
Review by Angus
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Konnichiwa, Paul!
This is good. I like this amputees ability to those things with his phantom arm, and it even gives me some inspiration for a horror story!
I like how you wrote this in all dialogue, as well as how left the ending so ambiguous. Just what could they use that phantom arm for? *Smirk*
Great spelling and telling, but I do have one comment:
"All I have is my arms reach though." (missing words? I know you already reached the 300 word limit...)
Otherwise, nice job! And nice use of the prompt phrase, too.
Kee ponw ritin gon, my friend! Have a great day, and good luck in the contest!

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#1188309 by iKïyå§ama

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631
631
Review of Gingerly does it  
Review by Angus
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
*BalloonR* Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon" ! *BalloonR*

Bon jour, Cherry Koshi!
As a lover/reader/writer and judge of horror, I thought this was a cool story, and the concept of this gingerbread man coming to life was a good concept (and rather unique, too). It was a little weird trying to wrap my head around how the whole family had evil twin gingerbread people of themselves now, but that’s not very important for a short story like this. However, if you ever decide to expand on this (and I seriously this could be expanded!), then maybe you could go into more detail with some explanation for it.
Comments and suggestions:
‘Till I saw one winking back.’ (nice! *Smirk2*)
Also, I don’t think you need that comparison at the end (‘like Gingerbread People’), since that’s already been suggested that that’s what they were.
‘...and throwing her arms open wide, dramatically.’ (this sounds kind of awkward—maybe drop ‘dramatically’?)
Otherwise, nice job!
Kee ponw ritin gon, Cherry, and welcome to WdC! If you like to write, then you’re going to love it here!
PS-You might want to get your bioblock (biography) set up so we can know a little something about you (hobbies, favorite books/authors, location, etc.), but that's up to you, of course.
PSS-And since you’re new here, perhaps you’d like to check out "Noticing Newbies"  and introduce yourself to the rest of the community if you haven’t already.

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#1300305 by Maryann

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632
632
Review of Where Am I?  
Review by Angus
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Ahoy, Pernell!
This is good. I like the creep factor of getting lost on what was once a semi-familiar road, and using that Garmin GPS was a really nice touch.
Great job using that prompt phrase, too, but the ending was a little sudden. Don't get me wrong; I've written a lot of these 300 words stories, and sometimes you have to bring them to a screeching halt whether you want to or not.
Regardless though, I like the plot of this, and if you ever to decide to, I think you could expand on this!
Kee ponw ritin gon, Pernell! Thanks for sharing this, have a great day, and good luck in the contest!

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#1188309 by iKïyå§ama

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633
633
Review by Angus
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
*BalloonR* Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon" ! *BalloonR*

Hello there, Livp!
This is really, really good for your first piece on here, and I love your sense of humor! Not only are your ideas for this new system of determining how we should elect our next president hilarious, but they sound feasible too! After that fiasco in our last election, I'm all for getting rid of the electoral college!
Using a game show format, especially the ones with Jeopardy and the Kardashians (which I'm not fond of all, but I think it work for the purpose!), would be great to see how smart these political buffoons are and how they go about their daily lives. Maybe we could add a 'Survivor' thing in there too?
Very well done, my friend! The spelling and grammar were flawless (thank you!), and the entire piece read smoothly and professionally. It's obvious you have some writing experience in your background, if not journalism as well. In fact, this would be an excellent perfect Op-Ed piece!
An 'idiot-in-chief'? *Rolling*
My only suggestion would be to put this in a larger font and double space (or indent) the paragraphs.
Kee ponw ritin gon, Livp, and welcome to WdC! If you like to write, then you're going to love it here!
PS-You might want to get your bioblock (biography) set up so we can know a little something about you (hobbies, favorite books/authors, location, etc.), but that's up to you, of course.
PSS-And since you’re new here, perhaps you’d like to check out "Noticing Newbies"  and introduce yourself to the rest of the community if you haven’t already.

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#1188309 by iKïyå§ama

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634
634
Review by Angus
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (5.0)
*BalloonR* Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon" ! *BalloonR*

Hi there, Paul!
This is a really nice piece, and I enjoyed the way you told it. What's more is that I have feeling this is from a real experience.
You don't have your biography up and you don't say in your port intro, but I think you actually served on an aircraft carrier, right? My father served in the Navy during WWII on several ships (none of them an aircraft carrier, though), and he was in both theatres, the Pacific and Atlantic. But the part you have here about the short timer's chain is not only believable, but likely probable! Cutting off a bead for each day you have left makes perfect sense.
VERY well done, my friend! I also liked that ending, and I can see you have a wonderful relationship with your grand daughter!
Kee ponw ritin gon, Paul! It was a pleasure to read, and have a wonderful evening/tomorrow!

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#1188309 by iKïyå§ama

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635
635
Review of Push the Button  
Review by Angus
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Ahoy, Normajean!
I thought this was neat. The idea of the fate of all mankind resting on a single button is, sadly, based on reality, thanks to the invention of the A Bomb. But you took it in a different direction with this. I wasn't sure what you meant when you said 'floating', but you quickly answered that at the end. Just adding 'pieces of the moon' was the perfect giveaway!
And that final line couldn't have been any better!
Just a shame they were both males, otherwise they might have a had chance to procreate and bring back mankind as new Adam and Eves. But I guess they would have needed another planet, huh? *Laugh*
Well done, Normajean!
Kee ponw ritin gon, and have a wonderful day!

 Un Milione di Baci~ Chapter Three  ()
Inventing Melody from Melania at the House.
#1303005 by Michelle Jeanette

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636
636
Review of The Cake  
Review by Angus
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi there, Jacky!
This is pretty good, and I like the unusual way you used the prompt phrase. The idea of a 'Goth' wedding is great--something I've never heard of--and having these two bakers trying to come up with a cake to please the wedding couple was also good.
It makes me wonder though: would black licorice really work as a substitute for vanilla?
Hmm...might have to have my daughter try that! *Bigsmile*
Kee ponw ritin gon, my friend! 'Twas a pleasure to read, and have a fantastic day!

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#1300305 by Maryann

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637
637
Review of Blending In  
Review by Angus
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi, Normajean!
This is neat. I like the dialogue, and sadly, I've had conversations like this with rude people before too. But it had nothing to do with green hair.
What's funny is that in this day and age, it seems everybody is dying their hair some wild color! So what used to look out of place not too long ago looks normal in today's society.
But I see what you mean about that fifteen foot human frame. That's probably going to stand out no matter what decade you're in! *Laugh*
I also like that comment about trying to blend in here on Earth. I've had the same problem since I arrived on this planet! *Alieng* *Laugh*
Kee ponw ritin gon, Normajean! It was a pleasure to read, good luck in the contest, and have a wonderful evening!

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#1300305 by Maryann

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638
638
Review by Angus
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Howdy, Paul!
I like this. Writing it completely in dialogue was a good idea, and I can just picture these two crooks trying to get their plans right while ordering their meals and hoping they'll look inconspicuous.
Floyd seems to have a bottomless pit for a stomach, which might not work out too well for their escape plans.
But hey, a man's got to eat, right? *Laugh*
Great spelling and grammar, and you did a nice job with the prompt phrase.
Kee ponw ritin gon, my friend! Have a great evening, and good luck in the contest!

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#1300305 by Maryann

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639
639
Review by Angus
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Howdy, Ruwth!
This is pretty good. I like how it's a story inside of a story, and you even brought attention to a disorder that NEEDS more attention!
I've run across a couple of people who I believed had autism, but to this day I'm still not sure. I knew of one young man (a special needs student at the college) who could remember anybody's birthday if you just told him once. I only ran into 'Andy' very seldom, but one day about 5 years after I'd told him my BD, I asked him again. Sure enough, he not only remembered the day and the year, but he also remembered where I was born!
Nice job with this, Ruwth. A cheap umbrella? If I saw that pic and didn't know what the prompt was for this month, I'd say it looks like a woman being stabbed with a broom!
One suggestion:
'but his sentences were usually off the wall things(,) not answers.
Kee ponw ritin gon, my friend! Have a wonderful day, and good luck in the contest!

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#1188309 by iKïyå§ama

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640
640
Review of Lucky Find  
Review by Angus
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Greetings, Normajean!
First off, nice job building up the suspense by not letting us know what Joey and Benjy dug up till the very end, and there’s nothing better than a nice twisted/surprise ending. But to be honest, I should have seen that coming. *Headbang*
The spelling and grammar were flawless, and you did a good job of using that prompt phrase.
I guess the life of dog ain’t so bad after all, eh?
Kee ponw ritin gon, my friend, and have a great day/evening!

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#1300305 by Maryann

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641
641
Review of I Had Ice Cream.  
Review by Angus
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Greetings, Paul!
This is pretty good, and what's even better is that it's based on a real incident, eh?
I can't talk. I've been known to lose things without even getting up from my couch! Seriously!
I like how you did this in dialogue only, and you did a great job with the prompt phrase.
And it even has a happy ending. Right? Right?
Kee ponw ritin gon, my friend! 'Twas a pleasure to read, have a wonderful evening, and good luck in the contest!
(I think you got a winner here! *ThumbsUpL*)

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#1300305 by Maryann

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Review of |..^..|  
Review by Angus
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*

Hi there, Wolfie~Spirit, and happy belated 2nd 'birthday' on here!
This isn't bad considering how short it is (I know you had a word limit). What's real scary about this is sleep paralysis is real, and to have these voices and other sounds happening while you lay there helpless would absolutely be freaky!
Well done, my friend! The spelling and grammar were flawless (thank you!) and it was definite 8 on the creep factor!
Kee ponw ritin gon, good luck in the contest, and have a sleep-filled and peaceful night! *Smirk2*

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#1300305 by Maryann

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643
643
Review of Restless Soul  
Review by Angus
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*BalloonR* Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon" ! *BalloonR*

Greetings, Margeret Manders!
This is a very well-written piece for your for your first one on here!
I like how you told us of your quest for peace and relaxation. Not only did you provide us with the details, but your descriptions were excellent! I just wish you could have found what I refer to as your 'happy place' *Sad*
I've spent a lot of my life working and hiking in the woods, and I've always found my own 'happy places' to be near waterfalls with the same natural wonders you mentioned, and usually with a good book.
Mother Nature rules, so I'm surprised your itch couldn't be scratched. But don't give up! Hopefully the next time things will work out better for you.
Great spelling and grammar, but I did spot a couple of tiny niggles (sorry to be so picky):
'It started out strong(.) A little bit of Janis can go a long way(,) but by the time...'
'...my current state of mind, I don't know what it...' (is)
Kee ponw ritin gon, Margaret, and welcome to WdC! If you like to write, then you're going to love it here!
PS-You might want to get your bioblock (biography) set up so we can know a little something about you (hobbies, favorite books/authors, location, etc.), but that's up to you, of course.
PSS-And since you’re new here, perhaps you’d like to check out "Noticing Newbies"  and introduce yourself to the rest of the community if you haven’t already.

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#1188309 by iKïyå§ama

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644
644
Review of Olaf City  
Review by Angus
In affiliation with Cross Timbers Groups  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello there, Paul!
This is pretty good. Even for such short sci/fi piece, you've inspired to read/write more of it with this, believe it or not!
The idea of discovering this alien city was a neat way to use those prompt words, and I like the mystery you left to it. The dialogue was well done too, but I do have some suggestions:
'and the number (of?) buildings'
'and I’m (ready?) for home'
I know you might have been close to the word limit, so these could be irrelevant. I just wanted to bring them to your attention.
Kee ponw ritin gon, my friend! Have a great evening/tomorrow, and good luck in the contest!

A NOVEL WORKSHOP REVIEW

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645
Review by Angus
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*

Hi Pat, and happy 11th 'birthday' on here!
This is a nice informational piece on a serious mental disorder, and I completely share your concerns about your daughters.
My oldest daughter was originally diagnosed with BPD, and she was also given medication. It helped some (I guess), but a few years later the docs thought they had the diagnosis wrong, so now they think she has Borderline Personality Disorder. I've heard of this happening before since these two disorders have a lot of the same symptoms.
I pray for your daughters, and hopefully with time and patience, they'll be able to live happy adult lives.
Kee ponw ritin gon, my friend, and hang in there! *Heart*

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#1300305 by Maryann

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Review of The Cursed Gun  
Review by Angus
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*

Hi there, Jim, and happy belated 11th 'birthday' on here!
Saw this in the Horror Newsletter and had to check it out. Glad I did!
For writing this in only 15 minutes is pretty impressive--I don't think I could do that, with or without a prompt--and you did a great job of writing this western scene.
The idea of a man making a deal with the devil to collect souls, regardless of which side of the law they're on, was cool. It's obvious this gunslinger doesn't want to take any more souls, but as they say, the devil made him do it.
Great spelling and grammar, but I did spot one tiny niggle:
“Let her go.,” He heard himself say. (go," he)
Kee ponw ritin gon, my friend! Thanks for sharing8 this, and may you have many more wonderful 'birthdays' on here!

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#1300305 by Maryann

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647
647
Review by Angus
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Howdy, Paul.
This isn’t bad. It’s one heckuva way to pick up girls if you have the time to sit on the side of the road and wait for some damsel in distress to get a flat tire! *Laugh*
To be honest, I had feeling this was a dude your character was instructing, and I was going to comment on how anyone who has a driver’s license should at least know the basics, such as putting gas in a car and knowing how to change a flat. So I was happy to see that it was a female.
But that aside, at least you’ve given good instructions to anyone out there, male or female, who don’t know how to change a flat.
Flawless spelling and grammar, and simple as it might be, it still turned out well.
Great job with the prompt words, too.
Kee ponw ritin gon, Paul, and have a fantastic day!

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#1300305 by Maryann

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648
648
Review of The Big Decision  
Review by Angus
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*BalloonR* Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon" ! *BalloonR*

Hello there, Kathy!
This is a nice feel-good story about a mother and daughter's relationship, and it shows just how much some parents are willing to sacrifice for their children. Sadly though, some parents, no matter how many jobs they have or how hard they work, still can't afford to do things like this, especially in this day and age.
Sorry, I digress.
Great job using the prompt, and other than a couple of minor typos, the spelling and grammar were flawless.
“I can’t decide which college I should attend(.)” Aaron says. (should be a comma)
(")Well, it’s a highly selective...'
Kee ponw ritin gon, Kathy! Thanks for sharing this, and welcome to WdC! If you like to write, then you're going to love it here!
PS-Since you’re new here, perhaps you’d like to check out "Noticing Newbies"  and introduce yourself to the rest of the community if you haven’t already.

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#1300305 by Maryann

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Review of Do it Right  
Review by Angus
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Howdy, Normajean!
That was a kind of a strange way to use that prompt phrase, but it worked pretty well for this.
Supervisor Smith might know his way around the shop (I personally think he’s got a screw loose!), but he definitely needs some help with his vocabulary! I know what widgets and gadgets and doodads are, but I’m not familiar with geegaws. *Bigsmile*
I just hope you and your classmates managed to get that shebang put together correctly! *Rolling*
Great job, Normajean!
‘None of us wanted bangs or booms.’ (*Laugh* Nobody wants bangs or booms, and certainly not kablooeys!)
Kee ponw ritin gon, my friend! Thanks for the laughs, and have terrific day!

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#1300305 by Maryann

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Review by Angus
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi, there, Tanith!
This is a nice little tale narrative about a nephew and his aunt, and I can see that you’re a very kind person. I’ve spent a good deal of my life in the forests enjoying Nature, and to have Aunt Frida tell Jimmy about sharing that gift of the fireflies with others was a beautiful (and touching) sentiment.
The spelling and grammar were flawless (thank you!), and I can see why this won the contest! Congratulations!
‘her aluminum tumbler of iced tea sparkled like her smile’ (this might seem like a simple simile to you, but I think it’s great--same with the other one--similes and metaphors just don’t come easy to me for some reason)
Kee ponw ritin gon, my friend! Thanks for sharing this, and have a wonderful day!

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#1300305 by Maryann

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