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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/dmjames
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Public Reviews
Review by soulquest
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
Since I have an interest in the history of the Templars, the title grabbed my attention. The chapter is well written and has a natural flow. The author uses descriptive language well; giving information that creates a picture and encourages one's mind to imagine the scene more graphically. One suggestion I have would be to explore the possibility of eliminating the preface to the chapter, and perhaps writing a chapter before chapter one that tells more about the Templars and concludes with the information provided in the preface. My reason for the suggestion is that the first paragraph of the chapter with the line "with what looked like two dummies tied to a stake in its middle," lost its dramatic flair, as the reader almost surely knew what was to follow, some type of recreation of the 1314 event. Separating them may keep the reader from jumping to that conclusion, thus maintaining the suspense or intrigue. Otherwise, great stuff and I look forward to chapter 2..
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