|I'm not a poetry fan so obviously I have an "unfair" bias built in. That being said, were you trying for "cute?" That's what you got. To me, funny is sharp and unpredictable and unfortunately, this isn't either of those. I'm sorry. Like you, what I write is almost more of a cherished possession than a literary work that has been exposed for any and all criticism. If you like, take a look at my website for writers where I held a "humor" contest (last January, sorry it looks out of date, I've been sick, but cancer has a way of making you feel and look like "5 miles of bad road" even after you've gotten it under control) http://www.thewriterssolution.comThe Writer's Solution. (http://www.thewriterssolution.com just in case I haven't figured out the ML tag) Take a look at the winner and see what you think. More importantly, take a look at some of the articles that didn't win. They may be more instructive.
That being said, it does seem to me that if you can find a way to consistantly write with that same style and humor (but obviously shorter), I'm very sure you'll get more than just a look from the various greeting card folks. Getting published is a great motivator!
Keep writing, you can do this!
Dennis "Doc" Knowles
"The Reverend Reviles The Evil One"