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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/domesticdancer
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7 Public Reviews Given
Public Reviews
1
1
Review by Zack Leigh
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
I really like this! The story is already incredibly suspenseful, and the description is thriving. The flow is a bit odd, as if you're unsure where to pace it, so don't be afraid to have an exciting fast-paced story right from the go; if you're going to try it, then commit with all you can!
2
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Review of Forgettable Man  
Review by Zack Leigh
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
My friend sent me this way to read your story, and I'm not disappointed in the least! The idea is incredibly original, or I've at least never stumbled upon a character whose ability is to be unmemorable! You could easily craft an entire novel from the concept, by fleshing out events and the such! I hope you one day do consider it, it could make for any age group depending on how it was written--I applaud you!

I noticed a single typo in the very beginning:

"Barry Clemons. You said that my driver's license was read. I'm Barry Clemons."

The second piece of dialogue should have 'ready' instead of 'read'.

~Zack
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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/domesticdancer