As always, this is just one person's opinion.
A good review, while being used to polish or improve your current work, should also inspire new ideas and give you something to chew on for later works. Constructive Criticism is the name of the game!
I'll start by saying I probably know less than your average 10th grader when it comes to the "rules" and format for poetry. I should probably add that to my review page.... Anyway, due to my lack of experience with that, I'll be judging this based solely on how it made me feel and my overall impression.
🍃First Impression: My first impression was: I love this! I'm a sucker for dark and angsty writing, and this definitely checks those boxes. It was thought-provoking as well. I love writing that I have to chew on, rather than it being spoon-fed to me. A few parts were a bit too cryptic for the overall theme, but that might just be me.
🍃Plot: As you can see, my template is set up for prose :P
I guess I'll talk about the overall story that I think you were trying to tell with this piece. I think it's a very real and gritty look at all of the struggles that can come with daily life. As someone who's suffered from depression and anxiety almost my entire life: Big Mood (I can definitely relate). The juxtapositions highlighted the duality of human nature and life itself in a way that made it very raw but somehow comforting at the same time. To live means to persevere, even when we don't want to or feel like we can't. It left me feeling a bit unsettled (which I love).
🍃Characters/dialog: Move along, nothing to see here
🍃What I Liked: I found the juxtapositions interesting. They threw me off at first in a few places, like "happily saddened eyes" and "nude as an artist's palette", but after the second or third read-through, I could see the big picture and I understood what you were doing there. I thought it was a clever device.
I also loved how this made me *feel* while I was reading it. I could close my eyes and feel every line in my gut.
"whimpering courage" was my favorite part by far. It gave me chills.
🌱Grammar/spelling: There was nothing that I saw, other than "unshamed". I wasn't sure if that was supposed to be "unashamed" or if that was intentional.
🌱Suggestions: There was only one part that I couldn't get to make sense in my head: "happily saddened eyes caress sockets of heroism". I wasn't sure what sentiment "heroism" represented in that juxtaposition.
🌳- And last but not least: You put yourself out there, and that's great! No success comes without risk. Great job, and keep writing! ♥ -🌳
"Anything worth doing is worth doing badly." - G. K. Chesterton