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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/elysianone
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Review of Prayer For Birth  
Review by Francis Brown
Rated: ASR
This is interesting! I wanted more detail on why he is out there? where is or was he supposed to be going if anywhere? Unless you want your audience to wonder about this. I can understand how this would be hard to write about and have the feeling of spending an indefinite amount of time completely alone come through in full feeling, but I got it. It does feel as if it is missing though, a few details that will seal it up.
I did notice one grammar error: My scream echoes out into the deafness of my own space as I sailing on, to madness and uncertain ends. - could be "...as I am sailling on..." or "...as I sail on..." or "....my own space, I sail on, to madness.."
Very good! I enoyed this thoughoughly. Keep writing.
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