|Whatever is marked in Bold is what I changed.
Whatever is marked as Italic is what you should remove.
Whatever is marked as Underlined is why I suggest something.
Whatever is marked as Bold and Italicized is something you should reword.
As you already know these are just suggestions, NOT changes that you HAVE to make.
My body slammed into the chain link fence of the octagon cage, my face raked down the metal wire as I slumped to the floor. (The words "slammed", "slumped", and "raked" flow together nicely since they all use "ed")
This poser telegraphed a round house kick that I should have easily blocked, but no, I let him knock me senseless. That’s when I got mad. (When you say "That's when I got mad" it contradicts your previous statement "I let him knock me senseless")
I looked up at my opponent , from my kneeling position. He was jumping around the ring, goosing on the cheering crowd. (The comma in the first sentence doesn't seem to fit in, however, the second sentence does need a comma after the word ring and before the word goosing.)
Sure enough he telegraphed another kick. This time he was standing too far back when he kicked straight at me. (The word telegraphed is already used earlier on, if you wish to use the word again I would suggest waiting until you're further in as to not repeat it too many times. The same thing goes with "kick" and "kicked" I would use a synonym for one of them since you are repeating yourself.)
I then came straight up with my fist slamming into the bottom of his jaw. The force lifted him up off the ground only to land onto the mat, not moving. ("then" doesn't fit the sentence since everything would be happening quickly in real life you want to switch from one thing to another with no hesitation. The second sentence just didn't make sense the way it was worded.)
The silence of the crowd was deafening...I don't care.
I paid them no mind and tried my best to casually stroll out of the octagon cage; as if I wasn't bruised, bleeding, or in a mounds of pain. (I just changed a few things to make it smoother)
This is for the first part you marked off if you would like me to continue please let me know.