|I dig your work. Nice job...some suggestions, take them just as that though because this is a good slice of life flash fiction story.
How about? ( orig) Somehow, through all the punches, through all the kicks, James had managed to hold on to the towel
Somehow, through all the punches, through all the kicks, James held on to the towel,
( Orig ) He spared one hand from the towel to break his fall, and contact with the unyielding tile floor sent a shock up his entire arm.
He spared one hand from the towel to break his fall PERIOD -- Contact with the unyielding tile floor sent a shock up his entire arm.
pain spiked his chest with every breath ---oooh I LOVE this... great description!
I’m sure you’ve already had commentary about the punctuation. We readers are used to standard punctuation, capitalization in our short stores—just fits with the genre. The uneven capitalization makes what is a fine start @ a good story a bit confusing. I’m sure you will probably fix this up during your rewrite.
he opened his eyes immediately, but only in his dream. and even though the scene was exactly the same, he knew without a doubt that he was finally dreaming
How about making some shorter sentences?? He opened his eyes immediately, but only in his dream. Although the scene was exactly the same, Jamie knew he was finally dreaming.
Clean up all the wordiness...because this is STRONG powerful images you have going. Make the image clearer, cleaner by parsing these sentences more. And combine some of the sentences into paragraphs. Once you clear out the debris you’ll be pleased I’m sure with what you have!
Thank you for sharing it with all of us. This story makes me want to read MORE of your work... Gail @ writing.com