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Printed from http://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/grandpaslipper
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4 Public Reviews Given
Public Reviews
1
1
Review by grandpaslippers
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hey! :) Nicely done! I really liked this! Your flow is great, and the storyline is definitely attention capturing!! ;) A few things I would look over though... there're a few misplaced or unneeded commas, maybe a run-on sentence or two? Maybe try just giving this a read, editing as you go.
And I really liked your title - pardon my randomness :)
So sorry this is all the advice I have for you, but hope it helped!
- grandpaslippers :)
2
2
Review by grandpaslippers
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Well. I must say, that was rather unexpected. :)
I just wanted to say good job! So sorry I don't have any advice for you... but it was a great read! :)
- grandpaslippers
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