|A story that I felt compelled to finish with its strong starting point. I think your words dragged me into the pit with Hobson.
Whilst the structure is good, and the narrative compelling, I did notice a few things here and there that could do with a little touch up. I enjoyed the comedic relationship Hobson had with the skeleton. The action scene between Hobson and the 'Dog-thing' was well done, though I suggest calling the 'Dog-thing' creature or monster instead.
"Hobson landed on his backon the floor of the pit."
I presuming it meant to say "Hobson landed on his back on the floor of the pit"
But I think it would sound better like this, "Hobson fell into the pit landing on his back"
"He peered inside as the last sliver of light gave way to darkness."
Think the other slither would fit better here.
"He shook the bag a little, and in the final ray of sunlight, a glint caught his eye. "
Confused, did not the last "sliver of light" already "give way to darkness"?
"smaller than palm sized"
perhaps this would be better: smaller than his palm.
A good quality story which I enjoyed, there is room for its improvement; but even greater room for its potential.