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Printed from http://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/hanashu
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6 Public Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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Review by Hana L.A. Saw
Rated: E | (4.5)
"Your eyes tell a story" - I think it should be 'tells'.

In the second stanza, I feel that you shouldn't use the phrase "those times" together in the 2 lines. Maybe you can change "those times" in the second line to: "Or when you softly wept."

The fact that you have the same lines for the first and last stanzas gives readers a sense of urgency and it emphasises the importance of those lines.

Well done!
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Review of Best Friend  
Review by Hana L.A. Saw
Rated: E | (4.0)
Love it.
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