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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/hsmith22
Review Requests: OFF
21 Public Reviews Given
21 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
I will give you my honest opinion on your peice. Also some minor grammar and sentence stucture critique. I can give you more in depth analysis upon request.
I'm good at...
Positive and constructive feedback. But be warned...I'm not an english teacher.
Favorite Genres
Fantasy, Sci-Fi, Horror, Action/adventure
Least Favorite Genres
romance or peotry
Favorite Item Types
...
Least Favorite Item Types
...
I will not review...
I will not do poetry. Not my thing.
Public Reviews
1
1
Review of The Return  Open in new Window.
Review by H.smith Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 18+ | (3.5)
Overall the story is engaging and interesting. You did your research. There are some hiccups, like the abbreviation for SSG, and a few grammar issues but they did not make the story at all unreadable. Your imagery is great and your stories climax is an intense surprise. I enjoyed reading it.
2
2
Review by H.smith Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
Anything Zombies is good in my eyes. It was fun to read. Just one typo stood out to me if it was a typo. Dogging or dodging? Near the end when the zombies crash the place. Otherwise good flow and decently descriptive.
3
3
Review by H.smith Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (3.0)
Great concept, I think it has great potential. A little more description of people, objects, and places will give it a nice touch. Near the end it seems that Smug has grown attached to the other members of the group but I had a little trouble understanding the connection. Try to develop that relationship more. I do think that with a little more work it will be a great peice. You might also want to go through and check your quotations, some are missing or inapropriately placed. Those are just my humble opinions though. Thanks for the interesting read.
4
4
Review by H.smith Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 18+ | (2.5)
Nice job incorporating humor. Try going back through and checking your past and present tense. A couple of typos (not capitalizng I) and some run on sentences. But interesting.
5
5
Review by H.smith Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 18+ | (3.5)
Interesting concept. Catches the imagination. It is hard to figure out if the character Villahr is a male or female because it seems to switch. You might consider starting from where the vampire busts through the window, instead of adding it in at the end of the fight.
_thatVillahr_ needs spacing.
I did enjoy reading this, it has great potential.
6
6
Review by H.smith Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
This definately reminded me of HP Lovecraft. I liked the flow of the story, it transitioned smoothly dropping hints of lore that kept me interested. The end caught me by surprise. I did not see it going there. It did seem at times to become a historical narrative more than a story, but overall engaging.
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