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Review Requests: ON
337 Public Reviews Given
Review Style
When reviewing other's work I tend to be straight forward and honest. I do not do sarcasm as it can be taken as being rude. I do not like horror stories.
I'm good at...
I am good at finding spelling errors. I have tendency to read the words specifically, then my imagination kicks in and I can picture the scene.
Favorite Genres
Romance, Adventure, Erotic, Fantasy
Least Favorite Genres
Educational, Horror, Gay/Lesbian, Occult
Favorite Item Types
Short Stories, Chapters, Novella, Poetry
Least Favorite Item Types
Novels
I will not review...
Horror/Scary, Occult, Crime/Gangster, Ghost, Gothic
Public Reviews
Previous ... 1 2 3 -4- 5 ... Next
76
76
Review by Cadie Laine
Rated: E | (3.0)
I am reviewing for the Game of Thrones that is fixing to end on WDC. I am looking to help in this review not hinder. These are simply my recommendations, you don't have to use them if you don't want to.
The theme is the fact that our children are a blessing and gifts from God. This piece was easy to read through, although there are punctuation consistencies I recommend along with the removal of a few words. These are just my recommendations not anything you MUST do.
I do not understand NO. Why is the word no in this poem? To me it does not fit.
My son...me needs a comma or take out the space between word and comma.
that cross (move up to line above)
control (add comma)
My son path...already (add period.)
My son does not belong to e (me)
become too hard (add comma)
alone (add period.)

What does not fighting alone have to do with your son not being yours?
remember (add comma)
clear (add comma)
tears (add comma)
own (add period)

This is a good poem, I like the message and the reminder.
Thank you for sharing. Keep writing.
House Greyjoy image for G.o.T.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
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Review by Cadie Laine
Rated: E | N/A (Review only item.)
Hello, Happy Anniversary! Hope you are having a good day.
This is a good piece. I enjoyed reading it. I am really not sure what is going on with this story. The guys went on a road trip for spring break, their RV overheated and the cops brought them to a deserted town. In this they were suppose to find the old guy. When they stopped and thought about what they wanted in life they found they could have their dreams and find direction for their life. I would not have thought about the ending you have come up with. I figured it would have aliens or some twisted fantasy ending. This was though more helpful for the boys.
The old guy came to them while they were sleeping and changed something in them, or was that just the guys growing up in the story?
I like this story, thank you for sharing, keep writing.
House Greyjoy image for G.o.T.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
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78
Review of 10 Days of Spring  
for entry "Release
Review by Cadie Laine
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello, I am reviewing for Game of Thrones.Thought I would come by and say this was a good beginning of a story. I personally think it needs more to it. It needs more description of what is going on and maybe if there is a prompt that goes along with it you could add that for better clarification. Why are the fairies putting masks and makeup on? What is the point of waiting till the scent of spring comes out before they can dance?
I am going to assume that not all flowers hold fairies?
This was easy to read through and flowed well. I like what descriptions you had, there just needs to be more.
I think this would be a better story if there was more.
I did not see any grammatical errors or spelling errors that is good. The theme of the story include the fact that the fairies are waiting for spring to come through the sent of the flowers.
I have to be honest though. This almost read like a poem, you might look at changing the set up of this short to something more poetic.
This is a good short story. Thank you for sharing, keep writing.
House Greyjoy image for G.o.T.
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79
Review by Cadie Laine
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello, I am reviewing for Game of Thrones and I see it's your birthday today! Happy Birthday!
I enjoyed this poem you wrote. I like the relationship with the Father that you portray and invite everyone to join you in this relationship.
I found it interesting that you used different pronouns. In the beginning you started out saying 'you' in the middle you used 'we and our.' In the end you went back you. I know that sometimes we can change our perspective through something that we have written but this I think needs to be uniform through the whole piece.
It's a good poem, thank you for sharing, keep writing.

House Greyjoy image for G.o.T.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
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80
Review by Cadie Laine
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hello, I am reviewing for Game of Thrones that is going on through WDC.
This is a very interesting story. A young man has the gift of sight and is made judge in this community/country. He begins to have nightmares that show him who he could be or has been in the past, not sure which. He is looking for clues to figure out what to do with The information he's been given. In the process, he thinks he's found the woman who holds the baby that will house his next soul. The kicker is he still thinks he's going to be a bad buy but in reality he becomes a judge again.
So the point of the story is that in all of us there is a choice we all have to make. In that choice we decide whether or not to be good or bad. Our choices have consequences and others will live out those consequences if we are not careful with our own lives.
This story was easy to read and moved along quick enough. It was not really my type of story being that I enjoy romance. I like this one. It made me think and I enjoy it when a story helps me to see things in a new perspective.
A recommendation is in the first line you wrote: "Oh my God, that looks like a courier. The Judge's know!" I would recommend changing Judge's to Judges. With the apostrophe the word 'is' is tacked on afterward. so it reads "The Judge is know." That doesn't make sense. It took me a few times reading to catch what I thought you had actually said.
I like your story. Thank you for sharing, keep writing.
House Greyjoy image for G.o.T.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
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81
Review of I Remember Papa  
Review by Cadie Laine
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Hello, I am reviewing again for Game of Thrones.
This story was easy to read. I like the fact that you use memory as a story telling setting.
I like the message of your story, and the respect the character shows his grandparents.
The characters were not described at all. I don't know if the main character who was telling the story was male or female. There is an assumption that it would be you as the author, then again it may not be. I don't see what the grandparents look like. I don't see what the house looks like. What sort of car did the main character drive and why were they driving and not the grandparents. The characters are likable just not realisitic because you don't know what they look like. You describe a photo of the grandfather on the dresser but you don't say what service he was in.
I am glad they both found each other on the other side. That part was excellent.
This is a good piece, just needs a little more description. I hope that I have helped. Thank you for sharing. Keep writing.
House Greyjoy image for G.o.T.
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82
Review by Cadie Laine
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hello, I am reviewing for Game of Thrones. I really enjoyed your story. I found it inventive and thoughtful. The story line throughout flowed although I am a little confused about the whole story.
Let me see if I have this...Angela is the little girl listening to the story her mother is telling her.
Maggie is the Great Grandmother to Angela and Grandmother to her mom. Maggie's grandmother takes in a boarder who becomes friends with Maggie. Maggie always include Jean in everything she does because they were like sisters. Jean saw Maggie through the death of probably her mother, definitely her grandmother and her husband Tommy.
Maggie suffered a stroke and "left" with Jean. It's a story that is realistic.
I cannot see the characters, there isn't much description on them. I did see one mistake at the beginning of 2005 you wrote Maggy instead of Maggie.
The confusion in the story is probably me. Jean doesn't seem to age and no one notices that she doesn't age. Is it because she is an angel? I like the care that Jean takes of Maggie and the peace there is when Maggie passes.
All in all a good story. thank you for sharing. Keep writing.

House Greyjoy image for G.o.T.
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83
Review of Blog @ Work  
Review by Cadie Laine
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
OKay I have a question that I really need to have answered. You posted all of your month of July into the Welcome to my reality forum. I've seen it. My question is, this book that you have written for this group/forum, is it a blog or is it a journal? Do you post what you've written here in Blog city or is this just a place that you have chosen to participate in for your own purposes?

I really am wondering because logically if you were to post this entry as a blog, it seems really long to have to read. It is my thought that a blog is not suppose to take very long to read. I know that there are things you have to do in order to get the rewards. I also see where your post for 1-3 and post 5,7,and 8 are created on July 19th. Did you write all these on the same day or were the posts created on that day?

This forum sounds really good and seems like something I am interested in but the posting requirements are not something that seems logical to me.
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84
Review of Game of Thrones  
Review by Cadie Laine
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
I got credit for a review I didn't do. Presley has a review by Cadie called The SNORE CAVE. I Did not do that. Credit should go to Kittiara Actually THE SNORE CAVE is also listed correctly under T. Ansel Kenmeyer
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85
Review by Cadie Laine
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Hello, This story was good. I thought it was well thought out and planned.
The story moved along a little slowly for my taste although entertaining. The characters were realistic and believable. Their description were well thought out. I found this piece easy enough to read through. I liked the fact that the characters didn't get into any trouble. The conversations: I could hear the characters in my head talking.
The setting in the story was complete enough to help me see where they were going and what was going on. The opening pulled me in and kept me going although I was not satisfied with the ending. I figured the band would get a better chance at playing for a crowd. What about the video recording? Did that go anywhere with them? What happened later after they left? Did the bar shut down?
I thought that if it were a professional recording even if it's just a home camcorder, that the owner would have let the band finish the set in order to get a decent recording out of it. Anyway, just something to think about. Thank you for writing. Keep writing.

House Greyjoy image for G.o.T.
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86
Review of Second Chances  
Review by Cadie Laine
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Hello, This was a great piece. You wrote to the prompt very well. The description matched the story well. The message was well written and the story moved along seamlessly.
The characters were realistic and details about the characters were enough to see what they were doing. I did not see what the characters looked like as there were not enough details to make out faces. Whether that was deliberate or just part of word count restrictions is up to you.
The narrative pulled me in from the beginning to the end. I wanted to find out what was going to happen although I was curious about what he had done to have to have a second chance. This piece was easy to read through.
The setting was not complete but that also may have been a word count issue. Where were they when he sang his song, at school, a business, a home.
The descriptions of the actions performed in the story were enough to keep me reading. I wanted to know more about what was going on and where everything was taking place.
This is a great piece. It could use a little more detail and description. Thank you for writing and keep writing.
House Greyjoy image for G.o.T.
87
87
Review of Second Chances  
Review by Cadie Laine
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Hello, This was a great piece. You wrote to the prompt very well. The description matched the story well. The message was well written and the story moved along seamlessly.
The characters were realistic and details about the characters were enough to see what they were doing. I did not see what the characters looked like as there were not enough details to make out faces. Whether that was deliberate or just part of word count restrictions is up to you.
The narrative pulled me in from the beginning to the end. I wanted to find out what was going to happen although I was curious about what he had done to have to have a second chance. This piece was easy to read through.
The setting was not complete but that also may have been a word count issue. Where were they when he sang his song, at school, a business, a home.
The descriptions of the actions performed in the story were enough to keep me reading. I wanted to know more about what was going on and where everything was taking place.
This is a great piece. It could use a little more detail and description. Thank you for writing and keep writing.
88
88
Review of New Experiences  
Review by Cadie Laine
Rated: XGC | (5.0)
Hello, This was a very descriptive story. You have a way with words.
The story line kept me entertained and it moved along well. You have a good balance of setting and story to keep the reader reading and yet not lose the situation in the story.
The characters were realistic and likable. I honestly enjoy reading erotic and romantic stories. This was worth reading. I like the fact that she eventually became uninhibited by what was going on around her. Sometimes we just need to feel what is happening and let go instead of wondering what everyone else is doing.
You moved the story along well and I could feel what she was going through in the story. The ending was realistic, I thought that maybe she might have imagined the whole thing but then her best friend was standing there. That was a nice twist.
I did not find any grammatical errors or spelling errors.
My favorite paragraph is the second or third one where the guy comes up behind her and they begin to dance.
Question though, if he was her best friend shouldn't she have known who it was by his smell or was it just one of those mixed things where you don't realize and just let yourself experience something new and exciting and different?
Anyway, Thank you for writing, keep up the good work.

House Greyjoy image for G.o.T.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
89
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Review by Cadie Laine
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hello, I like this story, although I did not find it ha ha funny.
This story has a good story line in it. It kept me hooked through to the end. The message I got is to follow your dreams even if you don't know what they are or who you are.
The characters were likable and realistic. I was hoping that Chad would win the contest but I guess he went on to bigger and better things. I read that he combusted on the dance floor but what happened to him? Did he die or just move on to a better life?
I was pulled in by the fact that I thought I would laugh at the situation in the story but it was light hearted. I felt sorry for Chad because he didn't know who he was nor where he came from and he didn't seem to want to find out, why? I did find the ending beautiful when he combusted because everyone else enjoyed watching him give of himself without remorse.
The setting was good. I saw the places that they went. I like the description of the colors during the dance contest. The ending was good. I like the fact that Chad had a larger purpose in life than what he was doing.
This was a great story. Thank you for writing and hope you keep up the good work.


House Greyjoy image for G.o.T.
90
90
Review of Blest Love  
Review by Cadie Laine
Rated: E | (4.5)
I am trying to understand this poem, and maybe it isn't meant to be understood. The first stanza is about the butterflies and how they live their life not worrying about who is looking at them. Even though we enjoy their colors and beauty.
The second stanza is about the birds and their songs being sung without a care as to who is listening.
The mountain's peak just stands there still while we gaze at it's freedom and majesty.
The breeze blows moving to it's own pace not knowing who is feeling it.
Then comes the last stanza, after looking in a thesaurus at the word 'austere'. The piece finally fell into place.
This piece is essentially about taking a step back and looking at your situation from a larger picture. Whew! That's what I got out of this poem.
I like it. Once I broke it down it made sense. For me it does not flow off the tongue completely well. I had problems reading stanza 2 line 3, 'the' for some reason it doesn't fit to me in the sentence. Stanza 3 you might look at changing 'plays' to playing, maybe. I personally live in the middle of the US so I don't get a sweet salty ocean breeze. I understand the breeze plays through the tops of the trees.
This is a good poem and I like it. I like the way you wrote it with each rhyming word ending the line. Thank you for writing.

House Greyjoy image for G.o.T.
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Review of Meditate  
Review by Cadie Laine
Rated: E | (5.0)
Shut out the world...how is this even possible? *Smile*

Hello, I chose to review this poem as part of the Game of Thrones review challenges that we are having. I chose this particular poem because of the title and was curious to see what you had written for this project.
Meditation is something that I would like to get into but cannot figure how to make time for it with everything I have going on. Your point of view on meditation is enlightening.
The poem itself is good. It's easy to read and flows easily off the voice as I read it.
Your word choice fits the title perfectly. It seems that you describe maybe a personal experience with meditation. If it is something you have experienced, is meditation easy to do?
This was an item that was in your free verse folder, what do you consider a free verse? Does it have rhythm to it or is just something that stands alone? Are there different types of free verse?
I enjoyed your poem and am looking forward to reading more from your portfolio.

House Greyjoy image for G.o.T.
92
92
Review of Meditate  
Review by Cadie Laine
Rated: E | (5.0)
Shut out the world...how is this even possible? *Smile*

Hello, I chose to review this poem as part of the Game of Thrones review challenges that we are having. I chose this particular poem because of the title and was curious to see what you had written for this project.
Meditation is something that I would like to get into but cannot figure how to make time for it with everything I have going on. Your point of view on meditation is enlightening.
The poem itself is good. It's easy to read and flows easily off the voice as I read it.
Your word choice fits the title perfectly. It seems that you describe maybe a personal experience with meditation. If it is something you have experienced, is meditation easy to do?
This was an item that was in your free verse folder, what do you consider a free verse? Does it have rhythm to it or is just something that stands alone? Are there different types of free verse?
I enjoyed your poem and am looking forward to reading more from your portfolio.
93
93
Review of Blest Love  
Review by Cadie Laine
Rated: E | (4.5)
I am trying to understand this poem, and maybe it isn't meant to be understood. The first stanza is about the butterflies and how they live their life not worrying about who is looking at them. Even though we enjoy their colors and beauty.
The second stanza is about the birds and their songs being sung without a care as to who is listening.
The mountain's peak just stands there still while we gaze at it's freedom and majesty.
The breeze blows moving to it's own pace not knowing who is feeling it.
Then comes the last stanza, after looking in a thesaurus at the word 'austere'. The piece finally fell into place.
This piece is essentially about taking a step back and looking at your situation from a larger picture. Whew! That's what I got out of this poem.
I like it. Once I broke it down it made sense. For me it does not flow off the tongue completely well. I had problems reading stanza 2 line 3, 'the' for some reason it doesn't fit to me in the sentence. Stanza 3 you might look at changing 'plays' to playing, maybe. I personally live in the middle of the US so I don't get a sweet salty ocean breeze. I understand the breeze plays through the tops of the trees.
This is a good poem and I like it. I like the way you wrote it with each rhyming word ending the line. Thank you for writing.
94
94
Review of Meditate  
Review by Cadie Laine
Rated: E | (5.0)
Shut out the world...how is this even possible? *Smile*

Hello, I chose to review this poem as part of the Game of Thrones review challenges that we are having. I chose this particular poem because of the title and was curious to see what you had written for this project.
Meditation is something that I would like to get into but cannot figure how to make time for it with everything I have going on. Your point of view on meditation is enlightening.
The poem itself is good. It's easy to read and flows easily off the voice as I read it.
Your word choice fits the title perfectly. It seems that you describe maybe a personal experience with meditation. If it is something you have experienced, is meditation easy to do?
This was an item that was in your free verse folder, what do you consider a free verse? Does it have rhythm to it or is just something that stands alone? Are there different types of free verse?
I enjoyed your poem and am looking forward to reading more from your portfolio.
95
95
Review of A Fall Afternoon  
Review by Cadie Laine
Rated: E | (4.0)
This was a very descriptive story. I enjoy begin outside too so this story hit home a lot. Just being out in nature is peaceful.
The flow of the overall story was really good. I have a few questions and found some minor things that you might look at correcting but it's ultimately up to you whether you do or not.
How was the buggy moving? You spoke of cars and strollers but you do not describe what you are personally riding in. You spoke of a buggy and I thought of something pulled like horse and cart.
The changes that I recommend are simple spaces that need to be added and deleted maybe a few commas added and moved.
First line take a space between 'skies' and 'so'
'downtown bar' (add space) 'folks'
'Main Street' (add comma) 'other'
'tranquil space' (add comma) 'I'
'dazzling' (delete space) 'white'
'trying to' (delete space) 'separate'
'town' (comma) 'yet' (no comma)
As I wrote before these are just recommendations. This was easy to read and in thinking through the piece, almost seemed you were just trying to escape from the busyness of the people. Sometimes we need to escape from the mundane things of our lives. Good piece. Keep writing.
House Greyjoy image for G.o.T.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
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Review of The Leprechaun  
Review by Cadie Laine
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Hello, I enjoyed your story. You seem to have done some research on your subject and that is good. The flow of the story was good. I like the relationship between the Grandfather and Granddaughter. It shows the respect we don't see much of in our society today for our elders.
Patrick stopped working when his granddaughter came down the stairs. She 'warned' him it was only her. Was he hiding from someone or something just not wanting to be startled?
The story was easy to read through. I like the voice of the story, it's like listening to a grandfather tell one of the best stories that you never get tired of hearing. Will Grandfather ever answer the age old question of is he a fairy? LOL I like the fact that it doesn't actually get answered it remains a mystery and legend. The characters were likable and and realistic. Does the grandfather go to the parade? Is the point of the story going to the parade or spending time with family? Why was there a heater in the basement? Why was his workshop in the basement?
Grammatically: looked good, no spelling errors I saw.
Overall this story left me satisfied. Keep writing.
House Greyjoy image for G.o.T.



*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
97
97
Review of I Saw a Dragon  
Review by Cadie Laine
Rated: E | (4.5)
This is creative. I like it. I like the fact that your dragons were not alone in the world and they each found happiness. Then the attractions begin in that everyone wants to come and see the dragons. Do the dragons get some profit for being a part of the festivities?
It started with a picnic, where they got married and then had kids and shared their lives with the people in the kingdom. They were not scary dragons as some would have created.
The rhyme of this poem was easy to read. I definitely would let my children read this because it teaches them to work together with those who are different. Find your common ground and you can get along. Did the whole dragon family join in the festivities or was it just kids or just parents?
The flow of the poem made sense. It probably could have used another stanza of description after the kids sell the squid because you don't know about the parents.

There one stanza that I would try to reword the last part of "A ring was placed upon her toe..." The wording in the last two lines does not quite fit although I understand what you are saying.
Keep writing.

House Greyjoy image for G.o.T.
98
98
Review of I Saw a Dragon  
Review by Cadie Laine
Rated: E | (4.5)
This is creative. I like it. I like the fact that your dragons were not alone in the world and they each found happiness. Then the attractions begin in that everyone wants to come and see the dragons. Do the dragons get some profit for being a part of the festivities?
It started with a picnic, where they got married and then had kids and shared their lives with the people in the kingdom. They were not scary dragons as some would have created.
The rhyme of this poem was easy to read. I definitely would let my children read this because it teaches them to work together with those who are different. Find your common ground and you can get along. Did the whole dragon family join in the festivities or was it just kids or just parents?
The flow of the poem made sense. It probably could have used another stanza of description after the kids sell the squid because you don't know about the parents.

There one stanza that I would try to reword the last part of "A ring was placed upon her toe..." The wording in the last two lines does not quite fit although I understand what you are saying.
Keep writing.
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Review by Cadie Laine
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
I am reading these two pieces back to back without a long pause in between.

In beginning to read from Part 1 to Part 2 it does not quite flow right. The end of part one Melissa is suppose to be reading a book. But now it's she's playing with her dog. I figured that you would write something about her reading the book for the first time. It would pick up where you left off. Yet now that I have read the whole thing I see it does. Then again I see where if you read it separately, as in a random story, this beginning would make more sense.
What did the book feel like coming out of her pocket?
The flow in the story just keeps holding on and not letting me go.Unlike before when I proposed a pause in a conversation. Now I would not change anything. How did her father see the creature? Why did no one else see the creature? Aiming the gun at the family, I was not thinking that, interesting twist. I was thinking suicide and I like the fact that she was alive when the family left. What was the excuse that her father made to people for leaving? Just have to find out in the next story.

House Greyjoy image for G.o.T.
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Review by Cadie Laine
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
This is a good beginning to some really great things to come! You gave enough descriptions to keep me reading and explained everything perfectly. The characters are compelling and curious. Why did Rebecca choose Melissa to take the book? Was Melissa the only person to have been in the house since Rebecca died?
Obviously, she will read the diary in the next chapter/story but what will it say. I am definitely going to have to keep going. The mystery is what happens next. Grammatical errors, I didn't notice any nor spelling mistakes.
Something you might think about is when Mr. Miller is attaching the tow rope you might pause for memory effect. Just slow it down a smidgen, small pause. Her would be my take. Just an idea.

"You went inside that house?" he asked. "You're braver than I am. When I was a little kid, my older brothers used to scare me with stories about it being haunted. It still gives me the creeps." He shivered. "Are you sure you saw a light? The place has been abandoned almost fifty years." He paused and looked over the corn field. "Come on, let's get your car out of this mud. You can follow me to my house and borrow a pair of my wife's shoes." (keep going with the story)

House Greyjoy image for G.o.T.
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