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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/ilengel
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8 Public Reviews Given
16 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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1
Review of Irene and Henry  
Review by peoplewatcher
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
My overall impression of this story is that you have taken the time to paint a picture so to speak of what we as readers are attempting to visualize and then having done that, you take the reader into the picture as well as into the thoughts of the characters we are reading about.Having been a paper boy when I was much younger, I had the occasion to enter many homes of my customers when it was time to collect the fee for delivering the paper and some of those scenes are still etched in my mind. I say this because you have done a fantastic job of drawing your reader into the picture and thoughts of those you are writing about.

I found this a great (albeit sad but in all probability quite possibly very true in many situations today) read and I thoroughly enjoyed your style.

Thank you
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Review of City Streets  
Review by peoplewatcher
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Having been in the corporate world and hearing stories such as yours, I can appreciate this story. Also, I thought the story moved along at the right pace with the exception of the ending. Your ending seemed to be a bit abrupt leaving the reader (me, in this instance) with the thought that perhaps you ran out of steam and wanted to quickly end the story. In my humble opinion, perhaps you could have stretched it out a bit becoming wary of the husband's long nights at the office, perhaps spying on him and then lead up to an argument with an ultimatum. The fact that you indicated that you were "kicked to the curb - literally" could have provided a bit more detail such as, eventually there was a divorce, you were blackballed (remember - earlier you indicated in the story that you were offered a great job with the competition), and so forth and so on. Like I said, overall it is a great story and I kept wondering how it was going to end - meaning how did you subsequently arrive where you were - homeless and on the street - but the ending didn't really say anything other than you were kicked to the curb, literally. Good read though. Thanks for sharing.
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Review by peoplewatcher
Rated: E | (4.0)
Pretty neat way to describe writing.com. I got started back in 2004 with Writing.Com but have been negligent with regards my writing and am trying to get back in the habit. I enjoyed your little story above and actually wish I had some of your imagination. Thanks for the tour. Perhaps I will now venture out on my own again and try my best to get back into providing stories here at Writing.Com. In reality, I do it for my own enjoyment and hopefully if others read my stories, they too will enjoy them.
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Review by peoplewatcher
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Very good story and you keep your readers wondering what is going to happen next. You are an excelent story teller. I am looking forward to reading your next chapter.

Thanks
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