This poem was pretty simple. Nothing over the top but I think it really worked well for you. It gave it an honest heartfelt feel. It almost feels like it could be a song. The only thing I could even say is where it says:
“Hello handsome, how ya doin?”
How I loved to hear those words
The same old line every time,
But it was the sweetest thing I’d heard
just add:
The same old line SAID every time,
It just feels like it needs that extra syllable. It's not completely necessary and it's totally up to you. Just sounds like it makes it flow a little smoother. Other than that, I thought everything was well done and the end hit very hard.
I really enjoyed your story. There is definitely a mystery of what is going on and how the boats turned about. I wish you would have gone into more detail with the characters. You only get the idea of 2 of them really. You could have really used them to push the story. I just wish there would have been a little bit more of a climax. You definitely keep me wanting more in this story. Maybe a little too much. I get the fact that you want to maybe use symbolism or want the reader to figure things out for themselves. But the ending just seems so abrupt. All in all I did like the story I just feel like there's still room for you to elaborate.
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