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Printed from http://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/inviolable
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6 Public Reviews Given
Public Reviews
1
1
Review by inviolable
Rated: E | (4.0)
It's an original story about the rule of honour but this version should be your rough draft. You can definitely improve it if you rewrite it a few times.

Also, I think you should talk more about Jad's moral dilemma. Why does he break his oath? What questions does he ask himself?
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Review of Ceilings  
Review by inviolable
Rated: E | (5.0)
Not blindly optimistic, yet not blindly pessimistic--realistic. Many people believe we can do anything we want, but that's not the case. And many others believe that we get what we get and there is no point in trying to change our lives. I think the middle ground makes the most sense. Even if we can't reach the sky, we can still make our ceiling a bit higher. Awesome poem. Thanks.
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Review of Lavender Fields  
Review by inviolable
Rated: E | (5.0)
The purple flowers are opium poppies? Poetry means different things to different people, but to me the poem was a kind of analogy for all the ways we try to drug ourselves and escape from reality before eventually being forced to return. It describes a beautiful imaginary paradise and a rude awakening to a more blank, colourless reality.

I am just hypothesising (I'm bad at decoding poetry), but were the purple flowers opium poppies?
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Review of Military Coup  
Review by inviolable
Rated: E | (5.0)
Great piece and very true. It is time for leaders to admit that democracy is fundamentally flawed in that the majority of the demographic is ignorant. Radical changes need to be made to the voting system if we hope to avert bankruptcy and violence. Perhaps a meritocracy, with taxpayers having political power? Either way, America is not headed to a bright future.
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5
Review by inviolable
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Dark poem with a happy ending. Well-written, good rhymes, powerful emotions, and a positive message at the end: that we can find transcendence through faith.
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Review by inviolable
Rated: E | (4.5)
Inspiring me.
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