Imagery is well used in this piece, especially the theme of light that runs throughout, such as the juxtaposition in "... Illuminating DARKham forrest". It gripped me and flowed really well, and your sentence starters are varied nicely. However, make sure you stay to the point of what is going on so as not to lose readers.
Please critique my Jared and Gnat series! Would be much appreciated. Thank you!
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