|Oh, this was so creepy. In a good way.
What I liked
I liked the creeping feeling of dread I got as I sensed the worry in Cain's voice. I liked the simplicity of the ending.
What I feel needs work
I feel the story is a little confusing. Damien is dead? So then he's a ghost, talking to Cain? What does his death have to do with the woman in the hospital? Were they in a car crash together or something? What did he die of?
I didn't find the dialogue at the beginning very compelling, and so I actually skipped ahead to see where the story was going, and then skimmed to the end. I found the end intriguing and jarring (in a good way), and so I went back and read it more closely.
The story starts interesting me by about the mid-way point, but the beginning just doesn't do it for me. I might recommend editing down the beginning to get through it more quickly, or adding something to make the read more compelling.
It might also be nice to have the way that Damien died somehow be affecting him during the call. For example, if he froze to death in a blizzard, have him mention that he can't get warm.
One grammatical error.
“You know, I try to be very active in joining writing contests recently.”
I'd recommend making it simpler. Like this:
"You know, I to be very active in writing contests."
Overall, this was a fun, creepy story to read. I think it has a lot of potential, and can be a truly great horror story.