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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/jdennis01jaj
Review Requests: ON
374 Public Reviews Given
Review Style
My review style will change to conform to the needs of the work. If I find no grammatical issues, I move onto something else, and I will always key on requested aspects of the piece per the author's instructions.
I'm good at...
Helping with descriptive phrasing, less capable in the realm of grammar, but always aspire to be honest yet polite. I feel that those who concentrate on criticizing are compensating for something, which is lacking in themselves.
Favorite Genres
SciFi, Fantasy, Horror, Country, and almost anything else I'm asked to do.
Least Favorite Genres
X rated. Other than that, I haven't met one yet.
Favorite Item Types
Short Story, Novel chapters, etc.
Least Favorite Item Types
Poems, because I know very little about that art. However, I am very willing to give my impression of a poem. I just make no promises as to how helpful it will be.
I will not review...
X rated or anything over a rating of 18+
Public Reviews
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1
1
Review of Man of the Forest  
Review by jdennis
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
That is a perfect analogy for our present predicament. Or should I say the perfect allegory of present-day US? We, as a nation, seem to be complacent in the face of great danger from many directions. We are threatened from within by political extremes that will probably morph our political system into one of several bad options. At the same time, our political parties examine each other’s flaws with myopic recorders to catch and record the opposition’s mistakes. I’ve been on this Earth for seventy-one years. I’ve seen much more of politics than I ever wanted to see. However, today it doesn’t look like politics anymore. It seems like the preambles of revolution. Let’s hope something changes, or this country may be split into as many splinters as Europe is.
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2
Review by jdennis
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Naomi,

This is a beautiful exposition of your family life and, in the end, how you allocate your time. However, I saw no time specifically allotted for your husband. Did you forget him?

This is a heartwarming divulgence of your family and your life. I know of no better subject for the written word. Thank you for sharing.

May you see nothing but happy days. Life is the most precious gift to those who search every moment for happiness.


jdennis
3
3
Review of The Party  
Review by jdennis
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (3.5)
This short/short is filled with nuance, intrigue, and emotional trauma. You utilize each sentence as a structural building block, which is integral for a writer, which you obviously are. You build imagery as well as character construction in subtle strokes of word painting throughout each paragraph.

"What are you doing, get your hands off my jacket" growls Vanessa as the folded page is gently placed into an inside pocket. This sentence should be separated since the beginning of the paragraph is attributed to Beatrice speaking to Vanessa. Other than this, the scene is well-written.

Always remember to ensure the attribution of dialogue. Otherwise, the reader will be confused, and once confused, they will not immediately continue and will be separated from the flow of your writing. In the process, they will forget some or much of what transpired before that point and they may just quit reading. Never, ever, confuse your reader.

Your writing in this short piece is solid. Please keep writing and I'll keep reading.

jdennis

4
4
Review by jdennis
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
omstar,

I've been there, and you captured the moment with extreme ease. I am jealous. As I read each word, this entire scene came to life inside my mind. I devoured its intent with ravenous glee even as the child pulled at the last bit of hair on my head. It was short but sweet and filled with emotion, showing life as it exists in many kitchens worldwide.

Thank you.

jdennis
5
5
Review of Our Daily Rain  
Review by jdennis
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Wow, I have never thought of the rain this way. In the United States, rain is always cursed, always avoided, and never enjoyed by most who are in too much of a hurry to get somewhere, to do something that none remember after the day. Tomorrow it is supposed to rain. I think I will go for a stroll, with my umbrella of course.

Beholden, thank you for this insight into another existence, and the feel of this simple, but enjoyable feeling.
6
6
Review of The Tokoloshe  
Review by jdennis
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
When I first started reading the story, I felt as if something was slightly amiss. I crawled through the first couple of paragraphs before I realized, “Dennis, you idiot—the ‘voice.’” That was when I finally recognized the nuances of the narrator’s dialect and “voice,” which varied ever so lightly from English as spoken in my part of the United States. Especially here in Alabama, where I am presently located. “Ya know, ya’ll?”

After I slapped myself on the forehead, I began to feel and comprehend the story with those tiny variations in the language, and it revealed a viewpoint slightly unfamiliar and new but amazingly comfortable and exciting to visualize. I witnessed the rest of the story through those unfamiliar yet now comfortable eyes. That has happened to me only a few times before. Less than three times before.

That was when the Tokoloshe came to life. That “voice” imbued the story with an “angle” of believability with a completely foreign animal never before imagined by this reader, and I read a lot of Science Fiction and Horror with unimaginable creatures. I read that genre mainly because my education and past career were based on the sciences.

This story feels more mythical because the tokoloshe seemed an Impish being after the read. In the beginning, I read it as less dangerous, almost cuddly. Yet you lead me through the transition smoothly, making the surprise at the end even more impactful.

Thank you for the enjoyable read. Keep writing, and I’ll stop by every once in a while, and see what’s new.

jdennis
7
7
Review by jdennis
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
K5Rakitan,

I agree. It is my opinion that you are spot-on-correct in this assumption. It would have been almost impossible for a female carrying more than one infant to outrun a predator on all fours or escape by climbing a tree without losing one or all of her offspring. Which baby to drop? Which one to go back for? Those losses or decisions would have led to a large segment of the female population crossing their legs at night. So the female is the only rational originator of bipedal travel. And our male pride required us to follow suit and, I’m sure, attempt to take credit for that evolutionary trait.
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8
Review by jdennis
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
I hope you figure it out.

jdennis
9
9
Review of NAME IT FIVE  
Review by jdennis
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Under The Shell (we are all beautiful)
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10
Review of NAME IT TWO  
Review by jdennis
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Explosion of Knowledge
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Review of NAME IT ONE  
Review by jdennis
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
All stand for the Queen.
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12
Review of The Cowboy Way  
Review by jdennis
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
I'm sitting here with my puppy "Cricket" and she loved your poem. I trust and agree with her appraisal of your poem, "The Cowboy Way." She says it is a 4.5 on the perfection scale only because she has never given a 5 in all the years I have known her. We agree on most things, but I disagree with her so I'm giving you a 5. I gave her a biscuit so she's busy across the floor and won't know what I'm doing.

I loved your poem.
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13
Review by jdennis
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
This is a calming poem about the reassuring effects of true love. Many people have never experienced “true love.” They write about what they envision as love everlasting but do not capture the “gut,” the emotional bond between two people who enjoy that phenomenon. This piece does capture the essence of “true love.”

Your poetry rings with a resonance of reality and truth. Please continue writing and posting on Writing.com. I found my true love many years ago, but you remind me of who and what she is to me with your words.

Thank you.

jdennis
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Review of Quirky Ol' Me  
Review by jdennis
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Eliza West,

Your symptomology is exactly like mine, only fifty-some-odd years in the past. I am over seventy years old, and now I don't have to pay attention to the societal norms established long before either of us was born. You must maintain your enthusiasm for life and record it for others to learn from and live by. Write about your awakening, your freedom from the binding chains of "normalcy." Elevate your differences to a "new" state of existence, where "boring" is no longer tolerated. Push to the limits and record the outcome as you travel.

That is what reflective writing accomplishes. Tell others about your journey, the pains, the ecstasy, and the burden of being the first. When you tell your stories, include those qualities in the ambiance of the words flowing from your pen. Let your ink imbue the page with a reflection of your soul.
Keep writing. You'll do good things.

jdennis
15
15
Review of Making it Work  
Review by jdennis
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Jackie,

This is actually great. You caught me in the beginning with a story about an old man (like me) and a younger woman who had pity on the oldtimer and listened to his dumb stories. Only, she eventually found them enjoyable to relive with him. Then she began to record them, but for whom?

Eventually, she found an audience and sold his stories. No one else knew they were true. Those stories about his life before he came to Earth.

Thank you for the read. The journey engulfed me in a new realm of imagination.

jdennis
16
16
Review by jdennis
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Leslie Loo,

Cool name. I have a question--"She sits with her gorgeous minions between her." This sentence confused me. How can her minions be "between" her? Shouldn't she be between her minions (having them on either side of her)? Maybe it is correct, and I'm reading it wrong. That does happen to me from time to time. After all, I'm an old man.

"When she gently requested for things, she would get tossed a hard "no" in her face." This sentence gives the reader a fantastic visual impact. I found myself there.

You have a great story here and it should be continued. The summation at the end gives a brief preview of the events to come, however, I think you should continue the story.

I'm giving you four and a half stars only because the story needs a bit of tweaking as far as grammar is concerned. Although the structure is rough, the story is solid. Get involved on this site and you will learn what you will need to become a great writer.

Thank you for writing this story and letting me read it.

jdennis
17
17
Review by jdennis
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Wow! This reads exactly like a “love thing” I had in college. I believed we were in love, but she evidently lost the passion, and the ecstasy became tedious for her. We broke up with a lot of pain and anger on my part. She moved on quickly without hesitation, and I learned what “lust” was, and later I found out how to differentiate between that and “love.” This short story stirred all those memories and emotions, raising them through the multiple layers of dust in my memory to fill me with that experience again.

As I wrote in a review recently, creative writing must fill the reader with emotion. It may be fear, terror, friendship, hate, or love, but without an emotional residue left by the author, the effort will be lost as soon as the reader looks away. I carried an almost forgotten emotion through the reading of your story, and I think that will be with me the rest of the day. At least.
18
18
Review by jdennis
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Wow! You certainly captured my sentiments concerning "today." It seems all too easy for those who hunger for power to string lie upon lie in a chain to wrap around a subservient population, then binding them and bending them to their will. I guess it's an enriching experience for those who weave the lies. "They" will suck us dry and drop the husk into the desert, which "they" will have transformed our country into.
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Review of Pretension  
Review by jdennis
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
The following is my edit of your story. The story is great and could be inspirational, so follows your gut. I present the following in hopes of helping you. None of this is meant as a criticism. Only use what you think is useful.

Good luck, and keep writing. You have the stories in you.

Matt Barnes was a deadbeat kid from Chicago who hardly ever thinks (thought) about the consequences of his actions. Ever since he became part of the (“)cool(“) squad in during his freshman year, he started getting into trouble. Ever since his religious nut of a father left, he started losing his sense of self.
Now a high school senior, Matt is being forced by his mother to get a job. While struggling to find one, he stumbled upon an ad that was begging for help. But when the job opportunity comes knocking at his door, he continues to reject it. His best friend, Lenny’s church’s café(,) is now looking for new hires. But, Matt refuses to take the chance.
Finally, when he does, he reconnects with an old friend. And possible future love. He is dared by Lenny to put on a mask as someone (to be someone) he is not (in order) to impress her. And that is to be a Christian. Will he be able to pull it off?
Precious Adams is an aspired dancer who is just dancing through life. Ever since her mother left, no one (has) found (discovered) her (ever since). And to add more to the pain, she lost her brother to gang violence. Yet, she (manages to) keeps a smile on her face because she knows she has God (is) on her side. What happens when she reconnects (with) someone who could lead her closer to Christ or so she (hopes) thinks?
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Review of The New Year  
Review by jdennis
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
I'm definitely not a poet and seldom read poetry; however, I may begin. Your words inspire. They inspire an uplifting mood and create a musical inspiration for the soul, and boy, do we need that after the over-a-year that we have endured across our planet. Whether you believe the lock-downs were necessary or not. Whether all of the tortuous restrictions were needed to conquer the beast. Your cheerful prose shows us that our world grew closer together under our imposed isolation in some inexplicable manner. Whether it was in your shared belief that it was all necessary or in the opinion that it was a world gone mad with power and "they" were attempting to subjugate us all. We came together as a "World of People," hunkered down and whipped the beast even inside those most diverse factions. We can look forward to a brighter day. In your seventy-seven words, you said more and painted a more stark canvas of emotion than my one hundred and eighty-seven or more words that appear in this paragraph.

Thank you for re-enforcing my belief that a writer should boil the emotion of every event in their stories into the smallest package possible. You have done it well, so be proud.

Below I have included a small spelling mistake and one baffling punctuation for your review, which I believe was not intended to appear in your final product.

1. New hope for tomorow cart (tomorrow)
2. Prayers.and praises to hold (Prayers and praises to hold)
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Review by jdennis
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Poetic Outcast,

I may have been the wrong person, in one sense, to ask to review your poem. I have written maybe four poems in my life, and only for this site. Therefore, I can't give you advice on your structure, word choice nor any other aspect of poetic construction. I can only give you my gut reaction to your words.

You seem to be showing your audience that our world is in chaos today basically because two groups of political rebels are forcing us into two schools of thought concerning our political beliefs. I for one agree with what you are saying. However, I hope people recognize before the end that "opinions" are worth less than the effort expended to change them. Until now we have agreed to disagree about politics in this country, and for the most part, in this world. I hope this doesn't change.

As I said, I apologize for not being able to advise you on any of the elements of poetry, but I did appreciate your little outburst toward the world. Keep writing. You have talent. Especially for capturing the true sentiments of the majority of people--no matter what side of the argument we sit on.

jdennis
22
22
Review by jdennis
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Please, help! My computer crashed yesterday. It has since been repaired, but I had to reload almost everything and when I went to sign in to writing.com I used my ID/password and they didn't work. I signed in fine with my laptop, but as you can tell, I can't type on this little keyboard.

How can I get signed on with my main computer and it's nice oversized keyboard. I am an older gentleman without much computer knowledge (if you didn't notice) and can use as much help as possible.

Thank you,

jdennis
23
23
Review by jdennis
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
nfdarbe,

"Listening for Laughter" is a beautiful poem. I don't know much about poetry, but I do know when something fills me with emotion. This short piece conveyed a truckload of emotion, and I was on the receiving end of it all. My father died of Alzheimer's disease. My last memory of him was with our family sitting in a semi-circle around his hospital bed, listening intently to the "swish" of his breath as he exhaled—until it stopped. That moment was the moment we all feared the most yet for which we silently prayed. He was such a vital man all his life, yet that disease transformed him into an empty shell.

Most days, near the end, he simply sat up in his hospital bed, staring out the window. We were all there, accept him, and we watched without knowing what his thoughts held. I like to think his mind replayed memories of us all: the better times, the best times, and even the simplest times. All those moments over all those years, and there was no room left for remorse.

Thank you,
jdennis
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Review of Attracted  
Review by jdennis
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Rinsoxy,

Sorry this took so long, but I did warn you that my brain is not fully functional a present. Well, here goes....

As usual, you kept the tension level of the story climbing to the point where the reader takes a deep breath with the introduction of Sean. Then, after lulling the reader into a comfortable "happy ending," your prose explodes our expectations of a happy ending, and we suddenly realize--the bad guy has returned. I especially appreciated the cliff-like ending, where she left this world at the hands of Mr. Christopher.

You always supply a surprise for me, Rinsoxy. This story needs a good vetting for minor grammar issues (I will do it for you if you wish, but I have confidence in your abilities in that area). I genuinely don't see how you could improve the plot unless you stretch the tension further. However, in a short story, I don't believe that would work in your favor.

Anything else you might do would be beyond my capabilities of advising. I generally judge the overall story based on my personal reaction of either satisfaction or disappointment after the read. Then I attempt to dissect and recommend based on one of the two. I can usually predict the ending after reading half of the story or maybe a little more in some cases. This ending was abrupt and left me asking, "what happened?" Then the realization soaked into my conscious thoughts. It only took a split second, but you earned every bit of that "split second."

Thanks for writing this and letting me read it. I gave you 4.5 to remind you to look at the grammar.

jdennis
25
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Review of Redundant Rights  
Review by jdennis
Rated: E | (5.0)
Delta Blue,

I know you, but I know how the world pushes their narratives word by word stacked upon well-meaning verbiage, spewed by well-meaning individuals who never quite recognize the rights of others. We all have rights, and in this complicated world, those individual rights have bulged to the point of pushing aside the rights of others. Until we all recognize every individual's rights on this planet, we will never be able to accept each others' rights.

You see, even your side holds a skewed view of the other's side. And unless we can all talk, we will all fail. The final acceptance must be that we all accept each other no matter our previous generation's nor our own generation's prejudices. It is most difficult for us humans to drop the veil of acceptance only for those like us and begin to realize that our race, the human race, is all that matters. Not our skin tone, not our accent, not our eye color or shape in their corners. We are all human-kind. All are related by the fact that we have risen above the animal kingdom to rule this world. If we do not stand together, we fail together, and insects will eventually rule the world.

Maybe, that has been God's plan all along. We are just the precursor to the real occupants destined to take this world into its future.

Just saying...

Thanks for listening,

jdennis
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