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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/jdennis01jaj/sort_by/r.review_creation_time DESC/page/7
Review Requests: ON
311 Public Reviews Given
Review Style
My review style will change to conform to the needs of the work. If I find no grammatical issues, I move onto something else, and I will always key on requested aspects of the piece per the author's instructions.
I'm good at...
Helping with descriptive phrasing, less capable in the realm of grammar, but always aspire to be honest yet polite. I feel that those who concentrate on criticizing are compensating for something, which is lacking in themselves.
Favorite Genres
SciFi, Fantasy, Horror, Country, and almost anything else I'm asked to do.
Least Favorite Genres
X rated. Other than that, I haven't met one yet.
Favorite Item Types
Short Story, Novel chapters, etc.
Least Favorite Item Types
Poems, because I know very little about that art. However, I am very willing to give my impression of a poem. I just make no promises as to how helpful it will be.
I will not review...
X rated or anything over a rating of 18+
Public Reviews
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1
1
Review of Law of the Jungle  
Review by jdennis
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
EdWords,

This is a well written and interesting short story. I found no apparent grammatical issues, no gaps in the flow of the story, the story began with an interesting hook that drew the reader into the story, then the action, which followed kept the reader interested and tempted his curiosity through the remainder of the story to a satisfying conclusion with resolution and discovery that the spider (the hunter) became the hunted in the end. Great turnaround.

jdennis
2
2
Review of Darkness  
Review by jdennis
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
rinsoxy,

Now, that's an ending. Always go back and finish those contest entries, rinsoxy. Those word counts always leave the story half-told. Especially the endings. It seems we run out of room at the end and chop the heart out of what should be a moment of revelation. You have now captured that revelation in your new ending to this story. Don't let anyone con you into believing you can always get the same effect in fewer words. Economize, go back and rewrite, slice away useless verbiage put in place at the spur of the moment, but always go back after the story is finished and fix it. It will always be just a little broken, and you just showed me that you understand that.

You are a writer; no, you are an author. Repeat that to yourself as many times as it takes.

Thank you for writing this and then rewriting it to make it better.


jdennis
3
3
Review of Blind Date  
Review by jdennis
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Jacky,

This was a great short-short and almost totally dialogue. I hope you won the contest because you did a good job. I'd just like to know--is there any truth lingering in the shadowy corners of this tale? Did you know someone in the tale? Is the last line telling the reader a little about someone's life that you know? Nah, that wouldn't happen.
4
4
Review of Darkness  
Review by jdennis
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (3.5)
rinsoxy,

This is an engaging story with a great deal of potential for heart-wrenching emotion, however, it ends quite abruptly. Was it an entry in a contest? I hate the word counts placed on those things, but I guess they are necessary. Either way, I believe this little short-short is worth placing a little more expense of your talent into. You have established the tension between the two characters with finesse and begun the revelation of a deeper relationship, which peeked my attention, but then the story abruptly ends. I hope you didn't just loose interest in it because this could be the poor adopted child who grows up to develop the next Windows software. I guess what I'm saying is that it has potential and you have the talent, so you might want to take another look at this one.

The rating is because I don't believe this story is yet up to your writing abilities.

Thank you for writing this and letting me read it.

jdennis
5
5
Review of The Punchline.  
Review by jdennis
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Penneywise,

This is a gruesome tale about a comedy of errors. The telling holds a few small grammatical issues, but some of those may be due to my American perception of grammar in the English language, when the true English may have the upper hand in that arena. Some small grammar flaws aside, this story is an engaging and comical tale of the hazards of revenge when it comes to marriage and a cunning spouse.

Thank you for writing this and letting me read it.

jdennis
6
6
Review by jdennis
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Seuzz,

This short-short is a well-crafted story. The tale itself is not new but contains some "new" twists, and the telling of it shows a masterful hand and a keen imagination. I found a few faults with the grammar. However, those may be excused because of the voice telling this gothic tale. With those small grammatical issues set aside, I found not a single plot misstep, nor anything else that my grabbing hopes could retrieve from your masterful musing in this tale, even though I spent extra time searching. Be proud and keep writing to exceed this present "masterful" status in everything you pen from this day forward. Let me know, and I'll buy your next book.

Thanks for writing this and letting me read it for free.

jdennis
7
7
Review of Fool in the Rain  
Review by jdennis
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Kit MacPherson,

Wow! You show an ensnaring style from the onset of this tale and then continue to pull the reader through an amazingly pictorial story, where the characters movements, emotions become the readers movements, emotions. I felt the raindrops crawling down my shoulders, dripping from my fingertips. You tell a captivating story, which contains emotion, atmosphere and characters that live through the telling. Great job!

I apologize because I have no suggestions to offer, except to keep writing. You seem to be very good at it.

Thank you for writing this and letting me read it, for free.

jdennis
8
8
Review by jdennis
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Little John,

I apologize for the length of this, I guess I got carried away. But that's what happen when you're interested.
I did this the easy way--for me and just included a few grammar suggestion in the text of your story instead of cutting and pasting, which can be more confusing. Anyway here goes, see what you think.

Deus ex machina V2



I knew MedTech Second Class Jonesey was potentially unstable. How he passed his PsychEvals and earned a berth on the UNSS Grackle, I'll never know.

I knew Jonesey was a homicidal lunatic — right from the moment the knife plunged into my back and punctured my spleen. The second thrust pierced my liver. Yeah. The man knew his anatomy.

I passed out — I died.



I watch Jonesey squat over my body; a low keening moan comes up from the depths of the god-forsaken hell that is his life — a coldly efficient psychopath he is not. I watch as he picks up my body — he is a big man, Jonesey — and carries it outside while the crew sleep fitfully (I had taken Grif's midnight watch; the crew were still in shock after Grif, N'guma, and Chauncey died exploring some of the ice caves near the ship.) I watch as he carries my body under the ship between the landing struts. I watch; moments later(,) as he emerges, sans body. I can't see what he does with the body — my body — but I figure he stuffs it in one of the exhaust tubes where it won't be easily found.

I'm a dead man. Not a dead man walking. No. I saw Jonesey take the lifeless body away. I. Am. Dead.

He returns to the ship, cleans up the blood — my blood — and disposes of the weapon. As I watch Jonesey crawl into his bunk and curl up for a peaceful night's rest, I have only one thought — my crew is in mortal danger(,) and I am a mere observer, a specter of my former self.



This started as an ordinary cruise of an ordinary survey scout ship with an ordinary assignment: find life-friendly planets for colonization.

But the crews of survey ships are anything but ordinary. And we were bored, tired of exploring planets in charted sectors of known space. Our Sailing Orders were deliberately vague, and crew morale and efficiency were suffering. I declared "Captain's Privilege(,)", ordered the nose of the ship to point to the Galactic Rim(,) and told N'guma, "Go." She grinned the same grin as everyone else — except for Jonesey. N'guma plotted the course, and (... this should be a dash —) we went.

Jonesey's eyes were wide with terror. I should have paid more attention.



I am in the ship's computer. Damned if I can explain it, but it is simple deductive logic. Fact: I am dead. Even Sherlock couldn't argue with that. Fact: I have motor and sensor control over ship systems. I spend hours experimenting with the lights and the airlocks. All my sensory info correlates to ship's systems: video, audio, tactile, olfactory, even my sense of taste is hooked into something — vile. I don't want to think about it, but when the ship's plumbing starts to go bad, I 'know' ...

Why couldn't my sense of taste have synced up with the galley?

When Jonesey had stuffed the body into the exhaust tubes, I couldn't see him because there is no external video down there.

The body. It doesn't even seem like mine anymore. The ship is my body; ship systems are my systems. I am the proverbial God in the Machine, but even I could not stop Jonesey in time. If I had figured that out sooner, I could have stopped Jonesey's murderous rampage; but they are all dead now.

Even poor Jonesey, crazed with guilt. We all get those terrors the first time out, past the safety tethers of civilization — alone, truly alone. I sat with him, unseen, just before he took his own life, listening to him. He died believing he was the hero, saving his shipmates from a fate worse than death. Jonesey had crewed before, but never this far out. My fault. And I feel nothing. I lost something in that transference.



There is something else here.

I am seeing, hearing, touching locations on this planet the ship's sensor array could never detect. I've hooked into something that doesn't belong here, something — alien.

No. Not a presence. An awareness. It takes time before I determine the awareness is a reflection — me, reflected in an alien architecture. A part of me is trapped there, as I am trapped in the ship's systems. I detect an intent within this (... this should be —) complex. Just as exploration and discovery are reflected in the ship's design, this alien complex has a purpose. It watches and waits.

The crew, the ship, the planet(—) ... it watched us. It watched and waited, until someone died. And then it trapped the essence of my death,(comma not needed here) before ashes became ashes, dust became dust. It(—) ... caught me; it caught my essence, before I could fade away, and entombed me in limbo. Purgatory.

(**)Purgatory, (a place) where imperfections are purified before ascending to heaven(this is a sentence fragment). And I know one more thing. My death — my capture — triggered an alert. Someone is coming.

I'm not sure I want to be purified. Dead or not, I'd rather stay here, on the planet I have named Limbo. I tried to take off, but the drive is down, its energies suppressed. That alien artifact has pinned me to this planet.

I can't find Grif, N'guma, nor Chauncey. They died before me, but there are many places I can't sense; maybe they died in the wrong place and couldn't be caught. And none of the dead since have been harvested. Unless we simply can't connect. This planet could be filled with the dead, and we would all be alone.

Waiting.(—)
(** you might want to reword to something like this: Purgatory is a place where imperfections become purified before ascension into Heaven.**Heaven is the name of a place here and not "a heaven," and this example eliminates the passive voice.)



This planet is an anomaly; it shouldn't exist. It has nothing a space-faring race needs. It is barely habitable, (and) there are no industrial minerals. It is completely uninteresting.

The perfect trap. If you want to trap curious(,) and sentient beings, but don't want to attract scavengers, create a perfectly innocuous planet. And wait.

Because there is no such thing. Elegant perfection is the hallmark of mathematics. Everything else is corrupted by pockets of contradictions and chaos. Only the curious, the truly curious, will stop and ask — why?

Like children.



Jonesey was right: we should never have come here. This is a planet-sized moth trap (A suggestion: This over-sized moth trap isn't a planet it's), a harvester, like craw-dad nets that let the craw-daddies in but can't find their way out.

But it's not trapping moths or craw-dads; this planet traps sentient life, life curious about the universe around them.

And the trappers are coming, (hell or some other expletive) they're on the way; I can feel it.

I don't know what they want, but I know I am about to find out. I am life — sentient life — dreadfully, fatefully curious about what hell awaits.

I wish they would hurry the hell up. Whatever is going bad in the ship's plumbing is becoming unbearable.
***Your story is superb. I like the idea of the ship's computer absorbing the main character's persona. Great idea. You move the story along in a rapid manner, nothing dragged on, and you chose your wording very appropriately for the narrator's characterization.
I found no faults in structure and only a few grammar issues, which I noted in the text. I made some wording suggestions, but they are only suggestions. I did notice one repeated point of contention (and I'm not really sure of that). It was (...) verses (—). In my learning of the language, the ellipse (...) is used for the omission of an implied word or words. The (—) is used to indicate a pause or stop in the sentence or flow of thought. Like you have in the second to last paragraph of the story shown above. I could be confused, so I would look that up before making any drastic changes, but that is how I remember it.
Your writing style is engaging and tends to make the read more "comfortable." And you certainly have the imagination of a writer with the talent to relay that imaginative tale to the reader. Keep writing because you have to.
jdennis
9
9
Review by jdennis
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
brina1203,

This piece is inspirational for me as I am on the verge, or maybe past the threshold, of old age. I look back on my life and wish people could see what these eyes have. I guess we all think or hope that our story is unique, but if it indeed were, would anyone want to read a tale so alien to their own? Would you not better enjoy the story you relate to rather than the one so foreign to your core? I mean, we all crave adventure, but in an experience on familiar ground. Even in the stories told about alien worlds, the author must tether himself to our world within some aspect of his story. Otherwise, he may never connect the characters to his audience since the average reader associates themselves with the world we all share. And the average reader is our target audience. Are they not?

Your essay connected with me, and I enjoyed the emotional insight into the experience related to you on Facebook.

Thank you for writing this and letting me read it.

jdennis
10
10
Review by jdennis
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
J.

A very interesting story. I just wish you would fill it out a little more. This may have been an entree in one of the contests here and if it was, after the contest you should fill in some blanks like: tell us a little about at least Amy because she comes across as kind of a "rag doll." Someone who goes wherever she is lead and I've never met anyone who fits that description. Don't get me wrong, you have created a very tempting short-short, I just believe that with a little more atmosphere, character development and character motivation you would have a tight, intriguing story. One that would possibly be marketable because I holds the possibility of being very unique.

Please keep up the good work, but remember to give your readers the most story you possibly can, if not the entire story. Keep writing and I'll keep reading.

This is jdennis saying thanks for letting me read your work for free, and if you get a chance I would really appreciate your dropping by my portfolio and picking up a short read, and don't forget to leave a few lines to let me know what you thought.

jdennis
11
11
Review by jdennis
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Ari Lox,

A very insightful article from the beginning days of the Coronavirus outbreak foretelling the actions and the resulting consequences of the economic debacles governments have made. At this time, over a year into the virus' spread, our economy is in Chaos. Our political environment is one without trust, held together by shreds of hope stretched to the edges of spontaneous rupture. Our population is filled with helplessness. And no answers are forthcoming—no light at the end of the tunnel. Only fingers pointed into dark corners. Mistrust rules the country.

I hope that I haven't dampened your day. Your short article set me on this tirade in the first place, so I shared. Believe it or not, my venting has made me feel better. Therefore, if you refuse to read the first paragraph in my review, let me tell you that your article impressed me. Thank you for writing it and letting me read it--for free.


jdennis
12
12
Review of Frosty Creme  
Review by jdennis
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Wow! What a punch in just 321 words! I loved this little short-short and you caught me off guard with the word "pathos," I kept trying to turn it into a character from one of Shakespeare's plays. Then the little gremlin crept into the back of my mind to whisper: "You idiot, pathos or misery." Very good short-short. Feelings of pity welled within me as I read and they collapsed into laughter at the ending. Your note at the end implies that this is a true story? Or is it more truth than fiction?

Thank you for writing this and letting me read it. It's been a while since I've been tickled into a belly laugh.

jdennis
13
13
Review of New Year 2021  
Review by jdennis
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Martha,

Do exactly that. Don't let the news or any media control your outlook on life, mood, attitude, or any other aspect of your emotional-mental makeup. Speaking of old, in seven days, I'll be seventy years old, but when I start to feel old, I call my granddaughter and get her started telling me all about her day. She's a wonder and a joy. Find someone or something, somewhere to reach out to for moral support. If nothing else, drop me a line, and I'll ask my granddaughter what to do. Never spend a moment wasted on depressed feelings. All they do is drag you down. Right?

When you get something else posted, send me a note, and I'll review it. Most of all, have fun. This site is filled with good people, who are almost all willing to help. Use every one of us.


jdennis
14
14
Review by jdennis
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)

(Little), John,

I liked this little short-short. You packed it with suspense, surprise, comedy, and at the end, a sigh of relief all within 314 words. I wrote a sneeze longer than that once and still didn't get the idea across to the reader. However, you succeeded. Thank you for writing this and letting me read it. And for the lesson in brevity.

Might I make just one slight suggestion: "John... This is your mother. I think...we need to talk." I believe that should be: "John—this is your mother. I think—we need to talk."

jdennis
15
15
Review of Love Is  
Review by jdennis
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Schnujo,

I found this piece through Read and Review.

You both did a great job on this poem. I'm no expert on poetry, so don't listen to me, but the two of you seem to counterbalance each other in the writing of this piece, leaving the reader with a smooth, effortless journey and a satisfying trip to remember. You captured both the success as well as the often experienced succinctness Love creates in relationships. All Love is rewarding, no matter how long it lasts or how bad it hurts when it's over.

After all, it is at the end of life when all these memories have the most value. If they are not there because of a misplaced dread of pain, then upon what the mind will dwell?

Thank you for co-writing this and letting me read it.

Remember: It's not just how you write it; it's how it's read.

jdennis
16
16
Review by jdennis
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
luminementis,

I am not a connoisseur of poetry. Actually, I know nothing of the craft except, maybe, what I like when I read it. I like what you have written in "Light my path or let me die." You captured a "feeling" with your eloquent wording, the deepest of sorrows, of love lost forever, a person scorned, alone, and in the process, you rhymed. I believe that even to a bumpkin like myself, that constitutes a poem. And I might add, you did it well. The "feeling" spread through me as I read, and at the conclusion, my heart had begun to recover.

Thank you for writing this and letting me read it.

Remember: It's not just how you write it; it's how it's read.

jdennis
17
17
Review by jdennis
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
inkonthetrees,

A simple, touching moment that tells the tale of a lifetime of mastering one's fate lost in the recognition that time has twisted and slipped away, leaving no more than a husk thrown into the brambles along the path. Power, the more fleeting of youthful indulgence, relinquished, not transferred. Vigor long since loosened from our grasp, leaving us to our memories and no more. A fate we all await and avoid. A poignant presentation.

Thank you for writing this and letting me read it.

Remember: It's not just how you write it; it's how it's read.

jdennis
18
18
Review of A Murder of Crows  
Review by jdennis
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
normajeantrent,

This short blurb is a succinct attention-grabbing nibbler for the reader. It doesn't quite tell the entire tale but entices the reader into the word feast that lingers in the shadows. Did you explore this dark cavern any further, or did you just leave it at this for the contest? If you have or you intend to do so, please let me know because it sounds delicious to my appetite.

Thank you for writing this and letting me read it.

jdennis
19
19
Review of An Old Red Barn  
Review by jdennis
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Beholden,

Thank you for writing this! I believe too many, these days, have abandoned hope for our country. You captured the idea that my father's generation felt so vehemently about that they died in droves to preserve it. As long as this "idea" survives, and some acknowledge its importance to the rest, the nation will thrive.

I have read several of your pieces and felt unqualified to comment without coming across like a groupie, but this one screamed for praise during our current political drama. So, here you have it, meager as it may be.

Remember: It's not just what you write; it's how it's read.

Thank you for writing this and letting me read it.

jdennis
20
20
Review of Be?  
Review by jdennis
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (3.5)
Andy9797,

In my opinion being is infinite for it defines one's finite existence as succinctly as possible.
I enjoyed your "mind bender" and hope to read more from you in the future.

Keep writing, the world might discover you, and then you will become a treasure to be kept forever.

Remember: It's not just what you write; it's how it's read.

Thank you for writing this and letting me read it.

jdennis
21
21
Review of Roman & Barbarian  
Review by jdennis
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
luminementus,

Below is a quick rewrite that I submit for your reference. It is not per your wording, but I think I maintained your intent. Use it if you wish. I present it as a corrective rewrite for some grammatical errors I came across and do not by any means impugn your capabilities as a writer. Please give it a read and see if it squares with your intent. Then fiddle with it as you please or ignore it.

I enjoyed this brief introduction to your novel and encourage you to continue. The story shows great promise. Your character development piqued my interest during this short introduction.



Roman and Barbarian



Two legionnaires arrived in camp, at Cyrhrus in Syria, headquarters of the tenth Frentensis Legion. The struggle against Parthia had been a vicious one during this campaign. They both lost friends. Whether they saw them die or after they lost limbs, they still left Legionary service.

Each soldier walked inside a cloud of grim silence, indifferent to the harsh sun, for both men were fierce and brave in combat against their enemies. They had never gotten on in camp, especially after a few drinks. Both were taller, broader, and stronger than most, and they came from different worlds. The one was a blond beast, from Germania, who only spoke broken Latin. The other slurred his words, a natural born, dark-haired, Italian, with a built-in sense of superiority, which his Roman heritage dictated. They both bore scars from "the fight" with each other, as well as the enemy.

Their last fight began with a comment, which the 'Roman' made concerning the Italian's 'Barbarians' origins related to his mother. He had said it to provoke him, and because after a few drinks, he was itching for a fight—he knew that only the Barbarian could take the kind of punches he gave.

The Barbarian had scarred the Romans face, with a retort from a ringed fist, and the Roman had broken the Barbarians nose, which he then reset with a grunt.

A pretty, young, six-year-old girl broke the silence. She was blonde and small, but loud and excited.

"Daddy, daddy, you are home," she yelled as she rushed into his arms.

"Hello, Munchkin," the Barbarian cooed gently, clutching the child in his arms. She talked incessantly of all the things he had missed when away. She babbled without relent while squeezing his neck. Finally, she turned her shiny, blue eyes to the large man standing next to him.

"Daddy is this, your friend? What is his name?" the child's question startled both men.

The Barbarian began to reply but realized that he did not know the Roman's name, even after fighting with him for seven years. He had always called him 'Roman.' An awkward silence followed.

It was the Roman who surprised him with his answer.

"Munchkin, my name is Gaius, and, yes, I am your Daddy's friend," the Roman spoke in an uncharacteristically gentle voice.

"My name is not Munchkin, silly. It's Sophie."

The Roman and Barbarian laughed together, and Sophie's giggle rose from within their laughter. She felt pleased with herself for making these two big men laugh, and she loved their attention.

Later the Barbarian called the Roman to his side and spoke privately to him.

"My name is Cedric," the Barbarian said, "what changed your mind about me, Gaius?"

"We have fought together many years now—Cedric. We are as fierce and brave as each other, and each as skilled as the other. We have fought between ourselves, but you showed me that you know when to stop. Seeing you with your daughter, I saw a real man, unafraid to be gentle with those weaker than himself, those whom he loves. That is the kind of man I wish to call—friend."

Cedric presented his arm to Gaius, which Gaius took firmly. "Self-control, courage, honor, and gentleness. These are also reasons for me to call you friend and brother."



Thank you for writing this and letting me read it.

jdennis
22
22
Review of Journal Entry #5  
Review by jdennis
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Christy,

I believe this posting reveals that you are beginning to comprehend the complexities of writing an extended work like a Novella, Novel, Script and so on. First, try to capture your story's main gist in a loose outline where you do not go into a great deal of detail. From there, begin to list characters, with a verbal image of each. Then expand upon the setting of your tale: location, night/day, duration of time (one event, single day, month, year, and so on.) List everything that comes to mind about the entire story. Arrange the information in a timeline, break the timeline down into sections that seem to fit, and you have a loose, basic outline of how you want to proceed.

I'm sure that I have left out many steps to get you where you wish to go. My primary intent is to give you a methodology to begin your organization process. You need to take it from there and find the method that fits your style.

You know the story you want to tell, how you want it to come across to the reader, now you must plan out how you will attack this massive beast and then bring it home.

Goooooooood Luck! I wish you much success. I am jdennis, and if my meager knowledge can ever help you, please do not hesitate to ask.

jdennis
23
23
Review of My Inner Mare  
Review by jdennis
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
debmach,

Your article is very enlightening. My wife has horses, and when I told her about your commentary, she became very interested. I let her read it, and she told me it made a great deal of sense. She has used several of your tips since to her satisfaction.

I also utilized some of your suggestions at my workplace. It seems all of us animals share the root cause of some fears, and the remedies you highlighted do help.

Thank you for writing this and letting me read it.

jdennis
24
24
Review of Spellbound  
Review by jdennis
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
kingscastle1,

An excellent short story. Your prose was taut. The story progressed smoothly from an inciting beginning through an eagerly devoured body of text to the ultimate satisfaction as the story settles comfortably into the readers' imagination.

I also appreciated the last address where the reader becomes enlightened about the reality behind this innocent enactment between to lovers.

jdennis
25
25
Review of Journal Entry #3  
Review by jdennis
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Christy Shay,

You seem to have grasped the reality of writing even though you seem to struggle with that which you understand. Keep writing. Nothing put to the page cannot be set asunder by the hand which placed it there, nor the mind which inspired it. It belongs to you. The final judge will only see what you present in the end. That is what "whittling" is. We, those who wield the pen, possess the results in a treasure chest held inside the depths of our dreams. If we spill those dreams onto the page with accuracy, then another, somewhere, will consume them and be filled with the story of what lay in our hearts. Let them see what your heart holds because it is beautiful, and we all strive to behold beauty as the world contains too much that is not.

Thank you for writing this and letting me read it.

jdennis
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