WHAT A WONDERFUL POST TO FIND THIS AFTERNOON! You have prepared such a SUPER take on this zany prompt! That's a perfect song for endless, unwanted repetition and general crazy-making. Hope they bring you back soon, though! Thanks for the big grin! [:O}
Cool poem! Great concise statement that says it all! Your bio says you are new to online publishing for your work; you seem to have it down. This poem is visually effective as well as content-wise, Your point that we can worship what blinds us and what we look away from is well-put and is a concept that I agree with. You may not have meant to go that deep, though! Great job!! And, welcome to WDC! I see that you are new--hope you have lots of fun and inspiration here!
Great rant! Good questions to answer. I believe "neither" is singular, as in neither one. I really liked these questions you have asked yourself, and the general concept of resetting something to get to tru it again. Little kids call that a "do over." On any given day, I would like to be entitled to several! Great use of used video games as a metaphor for life. Very clever piece!
This is a strong and beautiful poem, but aside from its beauty as a poem, it contains little spoken-of historical concepts, like the sorrow of the woman whose children were sold. Poignant view, little seen, that should be mentioned more often. I especially like the reference to the lines in her face, and how they depict her journey. Great piece!
What an enjoyable journey you have invited your readers on as you quiz yourself along your way. You ask yourself great questions; enable yourself and your reader the joy of contemplation as you come to your destination and ask yourself why and how. In doing so, you make it easier for the rest of us reading along after you to do the same with our own journeys. Thanks for sharing your asking and answering with the rest of us!
This poem contains great meaning and uses neat conventions to describe your point A great read and super example of the use of whimsy and word pictures to convey a concept. Fun to read in its light-hearted treatment of this topic. Another one of your great pieces! Thanks!
Wonderful story and well deserved win!! A beautiful tale of freedom and injustice righted and the love of the wild! Great word choices convey the strong message of freedom due the noble animal in its cage, and the jubilant escaoe scene is a welcome climax to the scene. Bravo.
This is a very powerful verse, filled with meaning and shared wisdom. You have captured the essence of your teacher's wisdom in 14 short lines. I enjoyed its patient cadence and encouraging strength as you shared the wisdom of the ages with your readers. Great word choices and meaning! Thanks for sharing!
This is a powerful piece full of well-used literary devices You relate not being aware of the impact of your words and the pouring of your life and consciousness into your work with having nothing to show at the author's end in a realistic, soul-searching manner guarateed to make a serious reader/writer take notice. Thanks for the inciteful read!
You have effectively conveyed the questioning and uncertainty involved with the illness of a loved one. The sense of helplessness and powerlessness shows through but is reconciled by the sense that God was there, too. You have taken a difficult topic and have expressed it ably in a few well placed words. I enjoyed this read very much!
Very thought-provoking poem. Puts me in mind of the old song that states that "they paved paradise and put up a parking lot!." (That song is swirling around in my head some 38 years after its writing after reading this!) Your passion for the scene is evident in the strong wording you use, the pointed reference to your momentum being so unbridled that you hint at courting your audience;s youngest daughter, clearly.a reference to violence at the desecration implied by the total scene.In this poem, you portray yourself as coming out swinging at the status quo. Bravo!
Very touching and pure. I like the poignant statement that "when he died the bushed cried"--it is a fitting description in this poem. Much better than "when he died the bushes died," tho I'm sure that was equally true for awhile! Lovely tribute to love and the flowers that glow for it!
What a wonderful happy poem packed to the hilt with your joy! Today was a great day to experience y our exuberance; it is even pretty and springlike here! Your word choices and descriptions are exquisite. The form you have used makes the verse tumble out like a running brook. The rhyme scheme fits this joyous poem by using that fifth line to sum up the thought in a satsfying way. Thanks for this day-brightner!!
Feline olimpians! I love it! Can mine enter??Your descriptions are fantastic; you have taken enough care with them to impart to your reader the uniqueness of each cat-personality! I would like to see some more transition words in the swoop from the first descriptive paragraph to the action-fillled second paragraph. The switch from the present tense of the first paragraph to the past in the second needs a smoother transition, in my opinion. The whole story reads well, and bekons me to come watch and offer my own entrants for diversion! Thanks for the great read!
What a neat valentine for all of us!! I didn't get three words into it before I was inhaling Hershey's mineatures with abandon! Your piece reminds me how closely we associate taste with memory. Your depiction of the various flavors and the loving memories they evoked made me smile. Thanks for the happy smile--valentine's present that you have given to me! I see no room for improvement, nor have any suggestions. The mystery of the giver gave the piece a pleasant question-mark in my mind! Your descript ions were mouth-watering. The Hershsey's didn't hold a candle to the chocolate you portrayed!
This is a very inspired story with well-drawn characters and a brilliant conclusion! You made your protagonist instantly like-able and interesting. I especially like the concluding paragraphs, which I have quoted below. As I am always looking for redemption in a story, this story's outcome really resonated with me. I can relate to it so thoroughly, as I was Angelique at one phase in my growing up, and had to get myself through it as best I could--and I didn't even have a weekly chippie visit to fall back on! Your detailed descriptions of the setting made the story that much more enjoyable, also. You managed to weave a great plot, believable characters and good writing style into one neat piece! Thanks for the great read!
SPECIFIC HIGHLIGHTS:
Because there was nothing creepy about the ancient cigarette butts in an old tin by the corner, or the layers of fast food wrappers that festooned the floor. There were beer bottles and cans so old their markings had disintegrated. There was even graffiti; ‘Aimee Smittie likes to kiss girls’ was scrawled across one wall in a loopy, juvenile hand.
And it was at that very moment that Angelique Louise-Kristabelle Mortimer realized how strong illusions could be, and how easy it can be to make your own curses come true if you really believe in them, and why people whispered things behind their hands when they saw how she walked with her shoulders hunched and her head hung low.
As I mentioned above, I think this was an excellent resolution to the story. It has left me with a warm feeling about her epiphany, as though your protagonist has grown from her realization and will continue to be OK. Thank you for completing the story in such a satisfying way.
I noticed nothing in the story that I would change and no errors needing correction. I commend you on your attention to detail!
BRAVO TO YOU!! You inspire me! You give me hope that I too can change something!! Your descrptions of yourself in your change-resustent protective covering are great. The hilarity with which you describe your actions shows a candid comfort with your life that is not always forthcoming in some writers! I envy you your Neil Diamond enjoyment! Thanks for the great smile this evoked in my day!!
What a great use of irony and imagery! Excellent word choices lead your reader to employ their senses of sight and hearing as they visualize your scene! I also think of h umor as an unnamed sense; you have gotten that one in also! Great job!
This is very insightfulll and makes one think out of the box to determine that just because the monster looks like a monster, that doesn't keep him/her from having redeeming characteristics, and just because the human looks human, that alone doesn't keep him/her from reprehensible behavior. Great inquiry; can have equal impact in the arena of racial behavior and stereotyping.
Excellent! Cute, funny and very creative! The injection of the Jewish traditions made it more than just a silly story; that injection gave it depth because it gave the story a depth. Your dialog between the sisters was a great--and probably realistic--way to tell the story. Thanks for sharing your talent!!
GREAT word play lends creative excitement to this neat poem!! Great word usage and word choices. Can you tell that I love the words you've chosen? So many words are just normal;yours make this poem sparkle! I am looking forward to reading more of your stuff! This is a neat statement of your outlook on life as visioned in your bio! Welcome to WDC!!!
What a beatiful, glorious testimony to happiness and empowered inner tranquility!! What a magnificent gift to yourself and all your friends! I feel that I am better, happier, have more promise for having read your piece and internalized even a small bite of it. I tend right now to have a small problem with depression despite the hilarious tone I adopt in my poems; this piece cleared all of that away tonite! Thanks!! It is delicious to encounter such happiness. Many thanks!!
What a charming poem! Would that it could come true!! I liked best the description of your "pop's" find--hoof prints and sled tracks and cookie crumbles, The vision of the magic of Christmas in evidentiary form! You've caught a bit of the warm wonder of the season in your verse!! I'd say that you have a future as a poet as well as a screenwriter, from the looks of your writing!! I'm just enchanted by the thoughts of the hoof-prints by your chimney!! WRITE ON!
Very powerful poem and message! Thank you for sharing it. You write well and express tough stuff head-on!! Your writing is concise and powerful. Communication is a skill I detect in your expression; that will serve you well in early childhood work and in your excellent writing!
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