|Mock, I have read and re-read your post "Beavers Creek".
I believe it is best to highlight what makes me want to read on. Then move onto helpful hints.
What makes me want to read on: The newly added prologue: Excellent! This is the essence of horror...You certainly caught my attention.
Helpful hint: Keep in mind past and present tense......I feel if it's happening real time to the character, it's happening real time to the reader.
Example:Off the path, something rustled in the undergrowth, as a cold wind caressed the back of his neck. Something crawled up his spine.
Suggestion: Jim is terrified, yet shomehow angry with himself for feeling this way. After all, I am 11, much too old to believe in monsters. The cold wind rustling the trees and leaves around him increases his anxiety.
Be conscious of the timeline, the years jump back and forth. Also the depth of Beavers Creek history has left me grappling to figure out who is the protagonist.
Lastly, here and there you have a few misspelled words...Bogeyman should be "Boogeyman". And some sentences contain duplicates of the same word.
Some other minor issues can be resolved once you review what you have posted.
I also wonder if you intention is a short story, novella, or novel.
Over all, Beavers Creek has good potential. It is apparent you have some twisted schemes developing, which will be interesting to see progress.
Congratulations on your first post, keep 'em comin!