Nicely done. Great memory. I wish I had a house like that in my past. I think you expand upon this and deveklop it into a nice piece about where you live and the things that make it so special. (I'm off to look up lorikeets)
I'm liking this style of poetry quite a bit. Maybe it's that it's new to me, but it just seems to grab my attention and hold it. This storoem sent shivers down my spine at the end, even though I had an inkling of how it would end. Very well down.
Awww, geeez. You got me. I love the analogy of melted butter. You painted a very real scene. I could envision it happening. Your dialogue was right on and there was just enough magic in it to touch my romantic heart. I'm off to give my wife a hug and a kiss. Thanks.
This is my first experience with a 'storoem' and I find it quite enjoyable. I like your use of the experience of having a child and all the changes it brings to your life, and the commitment, the lifelong commitment.
This one clicked with me. Maybe it's my experience with that commitment
Harry, first, let me tell you that as far as the technical aspects of poetry go, I am completely clueless. When I review poetry, I review it from a purely, "how does it make me feel?", point of view.
That said, I will tell you that this poem left me a little flat. It was more like reading a series of sentences to me, in monotone. I enjoyed the sentiments, but I got no emotion from it. Maybe that is just me, so don't take this too seriously. I'd rely more on the poetry folks that know what they're talking about, than what I say, but I feel it is important to be honest with a review.
I could see it all happenning. The only stanza that caused me to hic-cup was the Rockwell one. For some reason it didn't flow as well as the rest. Great Thanksgiving read.
Can't wait to hear about wife # 10.
Joe
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