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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/k5rakitan/sort_by/r.review_creation_time DESC/page/2
Review Requests: ON
2,427 Public Reviews Given
Review Style
I'm the lead editor for a small press, and this is my pen name. I'll let you know whether I would have accepted your work as a submission and why or why not. If it's REALLY good, I'll let you know which press I'm with and invite you to submit your work to us. I'm particularly interested in controversial speculative fiction and polyamory a.k.a consensual non-monogamy.
Favorite Genres
Science Fiction, Historical Fiction, Fantasy, Romance, Dystopia, Erotica
Least Favorite Genres
stream of consciousness
Favorite Item Types
Short Stories, Novels, Fraternal Polyandry
Public Reviews
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1
Review by K5Rakitan
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Welcome! I stumbled upon this through the “read a newbie” feature.

This poem provides a lot of food for thought. Personally, I stopped believing in Abraham's God many years ago, but I still find it interesting how those ancient stories continue to impact modern culture.

Happy writing, and I hope you enjoy it here!
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2
Review of STUPID  
Review by K5Rakitan
Rated: E | (5.0)
Welcome! I stumbled upon this through the “read a newbie” feature.

We all experience friction with our parents at some point, but some parents are more restrictive than others. Know that someday, you can leave all that behind and live life the way you want.

Personally, I think that a skateboard is a wonderful thing to have. If I had enough balance/coordination to handle one, I would want one, too. It's a great way to get around town quickly without spending money on gas, and it also gives you some exercise. Try telling your parents that you'll use the skateboard for grocery shopping when they need a few items from the store. That way, you'll both get something out of it!

I like using a bicycle for grocery store trips because I can pack my groceries into pannier bags. However, sometimes I worry someone might steal my bicycle when I leave it locked up outside. With a skateboard, you can just tuck it under your arm or put it on the lower part of a shopping cart when you enter the store.

Never let someone dismiss your sexuality as a phase. It's yours, and nobody can take that away from you.

Happy writing, and I hope you enjoy it here!
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3
Review by K5Rakitan
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Hello! I found this through the “Read & Review” feature.

I loved the descriptions of the characters. Very colorful!

I spent some time as a freelance copywriter. I felt it eroding my enjoyment of writing, so I quit. I think the breaking point was when I was asked to write something that directly opposed my beliefs.

This was a sweet story overall. The part about writing.com was absolutely adorable.
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Review by K5Rakitan
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello! I found this through the “Read & Review” feature.

I can't tell if this is fanfiction or original fiction, but it has a strong "Star Trek" feel to it. I loved Star Trek while growing up, so this is a delight to read.

I wasn't focusing on grammar, but I didn't notice any errors.
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5
Review by K5Rakitan
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello! I found this through the “Read & Review” feature.

This is a very profound poem. It is important to be grateful for what we have, yet it is part of human nature to seek more. It reminds me of this scene from Cool Runnings:
https://youtu.be/tYRtTqx-IK8

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6
Review of Our World  
Review by K5Rakitan
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello! I found this through the “Read & Review” feature.

For some people, the world has never been a good place. Before the pandemic started, my family let someone from my high school who I found out was homeless move into our garage. It was the only place we could offer him since our house is very small. Now, I see that companies are letting more people work from home instead of having to commute to an office. I think this is nice because it lets people spend more time with their families instead of being stuck in traffic. I hope that, after the pandemic is over, companies will continue to let people work from home and convert the empty office buildings into low-income housing and homeless shelters.
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7
Review by K5Rakitan
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello! I found this through the “Read & Review” feature.

I missed Part 3 because writing.com is presenting these to me randomly and I have to complete my review in a certain amount of time.

Aw, poor Team Rocket! They can't ever catch a break. Great job with the story!
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Review of A River in Memory  
Review by K5Rakitan
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello! I found this through the “Read & Review” feature.

This is a lovely song. I used to listen to smooth jazz a lot. I grew up on it while all my classmates listened to the pop radio stations. Therefore, this poem strikes a chord of nostalgia in me as well.
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Review by K5Rakitan
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello! I found this through the “Read & Review” feature.

I can't see "bushes" without thinking of the Bad Lip Reading song "Bushes of Love"
https://youtu.be/RySHDUU2juM

That's nice of Team Rocket to leave them alone for a change. Still, sometimes I wish they would win for once.
10
10
Review by K5Rakitan
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello! I found this through the “Read & Review” feature.

This is an interesting outlook on life. While I have a certain form of spirituality, I no longer believe in the Almighty in the sense of the male God I was raised to believe in. Rahter, I believe in a more intangible, genderless force. I often feel compelled to write, and I feel like this is a spiritual calling I must answer.

My husband denies any belief in a higher power, but at times, I think he is being compelled by that power to play lots of video games in order to stay out of my way. Husband says he'd like us to do more things together, but it just doesn't happen. At least he beta reads my writing, though :)
11
11
Review by K5Rakitan
Rated: E | (5.0)
Welcome! I stumbled upon this through the “read a newbie” feature.

I believe that the fastest way to get people to wear a mask is to use shame. Our respiratory holes are now "private parts" that must be covered in public. Those who are less vulnerable (willing to risk an angry response, spitting in the face, etc.) should call out such exposure as inappropriate. Those who are more vulnerable or those who have a vulnerable family member at home should walk as far away from maskless people as possible, turn their backs, or use other body language to express disapproval.

Happy writing, and I hope you enjoy it here!
12
12
Review by K5Rakitan
Rated: E | (5.0)
Welcome! I stumbled upon this through the “read a newbie” feature.

I am glad that certain changes have happened because more people are working from home rather than wasting gas as well as time in traffic commuting to and from work.

Indeed, it is important to support small businesses if we can, but since goods from small businesses tend to cost more and many people have lost their jobs, that is especially difficult. I'm upset that thrift stores in my area were forced to close while Wal-Mart was allowed to remain 100% open. My husband dropped into a Wal-Mart to look for shoes but didn't find any to his satisfaction. I'm glad we didn't spend any money there because Wal-Mart is not playing fair. Just because they happen to sell food, they get to continue selling shoes and clothes while all other places that sell those things have to close.

Also, I am pregnant with my first child and haven't bought any maternity clothes due to the pandemic. I had enough loose or stretchy clothes to get through it, but imagine a family who lost their jobs and now can't access thrift stores for those items. With Wal-Mart (and similar corporations) as their last resort, it's clear that superstores are making far more money than they rightly deserve as a result of this situation.

Happy writing, and I hope you enjoy it here!
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Review of the room  
Review by K5Rakitan
Rated: E | (5.0)
Welcome! I stumbled upon this through the “read a newbie” feature.

This was a very chilling poem. The ending was particularly profound. This seems like a metaphor that can be used for more abstract limitations holding us back from doing what we want.

Happy writing, and I hope you enjoy it here!
14
14
Review of store 1  
Review by K5Rakitan
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Welcome! I stumbled upon this through the “read a newbie” feature.

This seems familiar. Is this a rewrite of a story posted earlier?

It's not a personal fetish of mine, but I am glad you are writing about what inspires you.

Happy writing, and I hope you enjoy it here!
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15
Review by K5Rakitan
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Welcome! I stumbled upon this through the “read a newbie” feature.

This is very nice, but it could use more work on sentence structure. If you want a more in-depth look at sentence structures, I recommend reading "The Elements of Grammar" by Margaret Shertzer.

Keep up the great work, and I am sure you will improve rapidly.

Happy writing, and I hope you enjoy it here!
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Review by K5Rakitan
Rated: E | (5.0)
Welcome! I stumbled upon this through the “read a newbie” feature.

This is a great start. You picked an interesting topic and portrayed it in a straightforward manner.

I wasn't focusing on grammar, but I didn't notice any errors.

Happy writing, and I hope you enjoy it here!
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Review by K5Rakitan
Rated: E | (4.0)
Welcome! I stumbled upon this through the “read a newbie” feature.

Indeed, it is very important to have a committed parents before embarking on parenthood.

There appears to be a tail of unrelated gibberish at the end of this essay.

Happy writing, and I hope you enjoy it here!
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Review of Shelter Dog  
Review by K5Rakitan
Rated: E | (5.0)
Welcome! I stumbled upon this through the “read a newbie” feature.

This is making me nostalgic for the dog my family adopted when I was a kid. She had a cat for a brother, and they both died while I was in university.

Happy writing, and I hope you enjoy it here!
19
19
Review of Journal Entry #1  
Review by K5Rakitan
Rated: E | (5.0)
Welcome! I stumbled upon this through the “read a newbie” feature.

These are some very legitimate concerns. The most important thing is to keep going no matter what. It takes time to improve. Even if you don't feel like it, I recommend writing a little every day to keep your momentum. Even if it is only one sentence, keep up the great work!

Happy writing, and I hope you enjoy it here!
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Review of Lost Friends  
Review by K5Rakitan
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Welcome! I stumbled upon this through the “read a newbie” feature.

This is a good start, but I feel like there is a lot missing here. Is this meant to be a test piece or a placeholder? I recommend drafting your story in a separate program such as MS Word, Open Office, or Google Docs and then copying and pasting it when you are ready to share it.

Happy writing, and I hope you enjoy it here!
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21
Review of Wanted Man  
Review by K5Rakitan
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Welcome! I stumbled upon this through the “read a newbie” feature.

This was a very entertaining piece. It fits will with the Western genre.

Formatting tip: when writing on the internet, add a blank line between paragraphs. It's standard practice and easier on the eyes. Indentation is used in books for economy of paper, but since paper is not an issue on the internet, we use an extra line.

Happy writing, and I hope you enjoy it here!
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22
Review of Last Stand  
Review by K5Rakitan
Rated: E | (4.0)
Welcome! I stumbled upon this through the “read a newbie” feature.

“It’s” is a contraction for “it is.” If you want to make it possessive, drop the apostrophe. This is the single most common grammar mistake I see among beginning authors, so you’re not alone in this.

I liked the reference to Jupiter.

This is a great start. Keep up the good work!

Happy writing, and I hope you enjoy it here!
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23
Review by K5Rakitan
Rated: E | (1.0)
Welcome! I stumbled upon this through the “read a newbie” feature.

Is this meant to be a test piece or a placeholder? I recommend drafting your story in a separate program such as MS Word, Open Office, or Google Docs and then copying and pasting it when you are ready to share it.

Happy writing, and I hope you enjoy it here!
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Review of The Start  
Review by K5Rakitan
Rated: E | (5.0)
Welcome! I stumbled upon this through the “read a newbie” feature.

This is a very intriguing piece. I personally don't believe in Hell or Satan, but I do agree that people too often conform to societies' norms for meaningless reasons.

Happy writing, and I hope you enjoy it here!
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25
Review of My Big Family  
Review by K5Rakitan
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Welcome! I stumbled upon this through the “read a newbie” feature.

This is a good start, but there's not much for me to go on so far.

Try avoiding forms of the verb “to be” such as is, are, was, were, etc. This is known as passive language. Using more colorful verbs can greatly strengthen your writing.

Example: my little boy was brought to this world
Rewrite: I brought my little boy to this world
If the boy was adopted, you could replace "I" with the appropriate noun.

Happy writing, and I hope you enjoy it here!
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