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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/k5rakitan/sort_by/r.review_creation_time DESC/page/6
Review Requests: ON
2,377 Public Reviews Given
Review Style
I'm the lead editor for a small press, and this is my pen name. I'll let you know whether I would have accepted your work as a submission and why or why not. If it's REALLY good, I'll let you know which press I'm with and invite you to submit your work to us. I'm particularly interested in controversial speculative fiction and polyamory a.k.a consensual non-monogamy.
Favorite Genres
Science Fiction, Historical Fiction, Fantasy, Romance, Dystopia, Erotica
Least Favorite Genres
stream of consciousness
Favorite Item Types
Short Stories, Novels, Fraternal Polyandry
Public Reviews
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1
1
Review by K5Rakitan
Rated: E | (4.0)
Welcome! I stumbled upon this through the “read a newbie” feature.

This was a lovely short story.

Formatting tip: please start a new paragraph every time the speaker changes in dialogue. This is standard practice in fiction and helps make the piece easier to read.

Happy writing, and I hope you enjoy it here!
2
2
Review of Blazing Paddles  
Review by K5Rakitan
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Welcome! I stumbled upon this through the “read a newbie” feature.

I love the title here.

"things I've only read about or seen in movies" . . . wait, they had movies back then?
Oh, right. This is comedy. Some things strike me as funny, but some things just feel confusing.

I wasn't focusing on grammar, but I didn't notice any errors.

Happy writing, and I hope you enjoy it here!
3
3
Review of Tf story  
Review by K5Rakitan
Rated: 18+ | (2.0)
Welcome! I stumbled upon this through the “read a newbie” feature.

Is this meant to be a test piece or a placeholder? I recommend drafting your story in a separate program such as MS Word, Open Office, or Google Docs and then copying and pasting it when you are ready to share it.

Happy writing, and I hope you enjoy it here!
4
4
Review of Unit 7745  
Review by K5Rakitan
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Welcome! I stumbled upon this through the “read a newbie” feature.

This is an intriguing piece. It feels emotional, even though we assume that machines don't have emotions, you've put the reader in Unit's shoes and made us feel.

Happy writing, and I hope you enjoy it here!
5
5
Review of The Silent Parade  
Review by K5Rakitan
Rated: E | (5.0)
Welcome! I stumbled upon this through the “read a newbie” feature.

Thanks for sharing this amazing piece of history. When it comes to matters like this, it's important to keep trying even after failing. I believe the meaning of life is to leave this planet better than we found it.

Happy writing, and I hope you enjoy it here!
6
6
Review of Love Needed  
Review by K5Rakitan
Rated: E | (4.0)
Welcome! I stumbled upon this through the “read a newbie” feature.

Love is a fundamental part of being human. Many of us would not be here without it. While some societies have marriages that are not based on love, love often develops between people who have been together for a long time.

Happy writing, and I hope you enjoy it here!
7
7
Review by K5Rakitan
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Welcome! I stumbled upon this through the “read a newbie” feature.

This reminds me a bit of the formerly homeless person from my high school that my family allowed to live in our garage because we didn't have any spare rooms. He's a fast food worker, and we're kinda regretting it now since such a high-risk occupation poses an extra risk to my parents.

Happy writing, and I hope you enjoy it here!
8
8
Review by K5Rakitan
Rated: E | (5.0)
Welcome! I stumbled upon this through the “read a newbie” feature.

You packed a lot into so few words. I admire people who can write short fiction like this.

I wasn't focusing on grammar, but I didn't notice any errors.

Happy writing, and I hope you enjoy it here!
9
9
Review of THE NEW AMERICA  
Review by K5Rakitan
Rated: E | (4.5)
Welcome! I stumbled upon this through the “read a newbie” feature.

I love the positive tone of this piece. The future will be interesting one way or another. Personally, I'm relieved that Trump is out of office, but Biden still has a lot of big campaign contributors he will have to satisfy. It's like this old song goes: https://youtu.be/7ymmkjrvl1c
We had an election, it ain't no lie. It was the best one money could buy!

Happy writing, and I hope you enjoy it here!
10
10
Review of Blinded Love  
Review by K5Rakitan
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Welcome! I stumbled upon this through the “read a newbie” feature.

That was a good dystopia premise. However, I was surprised they let the orange girl keep her hoop earrings.

Formatting tip: when writing on the internet, add a blank line between paragraphs. It's standard practice and easier on the eyes. Indentation is used in books for economy of paper, but since paper is not an issue on the internet, we use an extra line.

Happy writing, and I hope you enjoy it here!
11
11
Review of Botd  
Review by K5Rakitan
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Welcome! I stumbled upon this through the “read a newbie” feature.

This is a fun piece. The sheer number of housemates reminds me of my friends' place. My husband and I would love to live with them if it weren't for the pandemic, but since I have gestational diabetes, we can't take the risk right now.

Happy writing, and I hope you enjoy it here!
12
12
Review of Belly Kisses  
Review by K5Rakitan
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
Welcome! I stumbled upon this through the “read a newbie” feature.

I love wolves, so I enjoyed this story.

I like the way Taehyung corrects Jimin about the puppy's gender. However, "he’s not a female" doesn't quite work. Biological sex is based on genitals/chromosomes, and that's male/female/intersex. Gender is based on cultural expression, and that can be girl/boy/man/woman/gentleman/lady/enby/other. Therefore, "he’s not a girl" would make perfect sense.

Formatting tip: please start a new paragraph every time the speaker changes in dialogue. This is standard practice in fiction and helps make the piece easier to read.

Happy writing, and I hope you enjoy it here!
13
13
Review by K5Rakitan
Rated: E | (4.0)
Welcome! I stumbled upon this through the “read a newbie” feature.

These are excellent tips. I find it funny that you mention "wife" as a beneficiary but not "husband." I grew up in a family where my mother earned most of the money while my father took care of housework and me. Being a homemaker is a valuable way of contributing the family no matter the gender of the person doing it. In any case, I recommend "spouse" as a more gender-neutral term for this piece.

Happy writing, and I hope you enjoy it here!
14
14
Review by K5Rakitan
Rated: E | (5.0)
Welcome! I stumbled upon this through the “read a newbie” feature.

This is a very rich, satisfying poem. The very fact that life comes to an end makes every second precious, and reading this poem was a good use of my precious time.

Happy writing, and I hope you enjoy it here!
15
15
Review of Magic of a Spider  
Review by K5Rakitan
Rated: E | (5.0)
Welcome! I stumbled upon this through the “read a newbie” feature.

This is a lovely sentiment. My husband is terrified of spiders, but I don't mind them unless they're clearly dangerous. The way I see it, more spiders means fewer bugs of other types!

Happy writing, and I hope you enjoy it here!
16
16
Review by K5Rakitan
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Welcome! I stumbled upon this through the “read a newbie” feature.

While being overweight is fine, being obese is more extreme than being overweight and comes with health risks. Obesity runs in my family, so I've heard some of the things my aunt and uncles have gone through.

Happy writing, and I hope you enjoy it here!
17
17
Review by K5Rakitan
Rated: E | (4.0)
Welcome! I stumbled upon this through the “read a newbie” feature.

This was a lovely piece with a great message. However, it was disrupted by "You can also read <a href="https://www.myeduwaves.com/2020/07/the-thirsty-crow-story-with-moral-for.html">the thirsty crow story</a> which is very popular." in the middle of a paragraph. Something like that would be better suited at the end of the story.

Happy writing, and I hope you enjoy it here!
18
18
Review of Trespass  
Review by K5Rakitan
Rated: E | (4.0)
Welcome! I stumbled upon this through the “read a newbie” feature.

I like the character you painted here. Too often, writers are only interested in portraying glamorous lifestyles.

However, I would argue that kids are not as expensive as one thinks. As one of my friends said, "It's mothers who are expensive." She was talking about the women in the mothers' groups she joined who had to have the latest and greatest everything when it came to baby supplies. So much can be gotten secondhand, either from relatives or thrift stores. I'm pregnant now, and my husband's cousins are dumping loads of baby stuff they don't need anymore on us. Since it came up that Jim's "brother and sister had two kids each," I would think he'd have plenty of stuff handed to him. Now having the time to look after the kids or daycare fees might be another issue entirely.

It ended too abruptly.

Happy writing, and I hope you enjoy it here!
19
19
Review by K5Rakitan
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Welcome! I stumbled upon this through the “read a newbie” feature.

Wow, that was intense. It's not too often we hear stories of a woman serial killer.

I wasn't focusing on grammar, but I didn't notice any errors.

Happy writing, and I hope you enjoy it here!
20
20
Review of Him and Her  
Review by K5Rakitan
Rated: E | (4.5)
Welcome! I stumbled upon this through the “read a newbie” feature.

Alas! It is simply not that easy to turn off one's feelings for someone else. I would argue that one is doing more damage by denying those feelings. Everyone we meet influences who we are today, some more than others. To deny those people is to deny a part of ourselves.

Happy writing, and I hope you enjoy it here!
21
21
Review of Bleak  
Review by K5Rakitan
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello! I found this through the “Read & Review” feature.

There's a lot of powerful imagery in here. However, I have to admit that the pandemic has changed my perception of the word mask. We are all naked without one. It's more important than underwear.
22
22
Review of Running  
Review by K5Rakitan
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello! I found this through the “Read & Review” feature.

The end of this left me grinning. I love how the blackmail is implied but not explicitly stated. It also makes me nostalgic for my first year of university when I was hanging out with an upperclassman with a convertible. Awesome piece overall!
23
23
Review of Drinks with Him  
Review by K5Rakitan
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Welcome! I stumbled upon this through the “read a newbie” feature.

I like the in-depth look into another person's psyche. My husband's father was an alcoholic too, and I've tried to convince him to go to therapy a few times, but he gets offended when I bring it up.

I wasn't focusing on grammar, but I didn't notice any errors.

Happy writing, and I hope you enjoy it here!
24
24
Review of More Than Man  
Review by K5Rakitan
Rated: E | (5.0)
Welcome! I stumbled upon this through the “read a newbie” feature.

This is an intriguing look at what it means to be human. It reminds me of someone I met during my first year at university who said that he would be happy as as brain floating in a tank of fluid.

Happy writing, and I hope you enjoy it here!

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25
Review of Love me Harder  
Review by K5Rakitan
Rated: E | (5.0)
Welcome! I stumbled upon this through the “read a newbie” feature.

This is a very dynamic poem, in that the narrator's request seems to change halfway through it. It's like she needed some time to think and discover herself.

Happy writing, and I hope you enjoy it here!
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