Creative fun in
the palm of your hand.
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/kiffit
Review Requests: ON
7 Public Reviews Given
Public Reviews
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Thank you so much Saph for taking the trouble to help me out. Much appreciated. Regards, Christopher N
Rated: E | (3.0)

First, there is a universal quality about remembrance of childhood. It is its intensity. You have captured that very successfully. I have a vivid picture in my mind of those childhood moments.

Second, the detail with which you introduce the street re-enforces that intensity nicely. And the reader wants to remember with you.

Third, if you are going to keep the piece in the present tense, you must introduce it in a way that takes you from past to present, in the way a film does through flash back.

Fourth, watch your singular/plural verb agreements as per is/are. Run the sentence using personal pronouns rather than names and it will be more obvious. It is easier to make a mistake if you use apostrophe s for foreshortening.

Regards Christopher 'Kiffit' Nagle
2 Reviews · *Magnify*
Page of 1 · 25 per page   < >
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/kiffit